what to do? advice please

[IKO69]

there is a girl in uni i like. i would say we get along pretty good, made her laugh alot, was polite, yadda yadda. but i never believed i could have her because i am not that good when it comes to these matters and she is a very attractive lady. i asked her out before winter vacation and she turned me down. of course i was hurt, but, i sort of expected she would (rookie mistakes) and wanted to get it over with once and for all. i cut all contact with her as result. fast forward about two months. she happened to come across me and came up to me, said hi, and kept asking me why i'm never online anymore or around and all that jazz. i sorta just played it off then said i had to go.

now ill admit she is actually really cool and interesting for a girl, and if i was castrated or a queer, then it would be great. but i know its impossible to deny i like her and ill just get miserable if nothing were to come out of it (that is just be 'friends'). any advice on what to do would be greatly appreciated

 

[banGbro]

Miami FL? Maybe we should hook up? Drop me a line or two.



The best thing is to approach her, almost as if you never known her, you just know her name, thats all. Approach, start over. Women move on quick, and you can spark attraction with her now. As long as you are confident. Show her that you changed. If you are same old, she wont say yes.


But you gotta realize, that shes just another girl, nothing special about her, absolutely nothing. When you think the girl is special this early you are screwing up your chances. Shes used to being special, and its boring.

 

[Jay Jay]

A lot of guys come on here saying they are not that good with the ladies but they really want to get this high quality girl and to want some advice.

I wonder if these guys have been to the tips section or the bible.

There is no magic bullet. Even the biggest DJ will not be able to read three paragraphs and tell you how to this girl.

Here's the hard truth... getting good with girls takes a lot of work. Even dudes with tight game struggle with the really high quality girls.

The only way to have a chance is to give it a shot... if it comes off, well good. If you get shot down then pick yourself up, look for the lesson inherent in the situation and work on improving yourself.

Go read the dj bible.

JJ

 

[IKO69]

hehe why not!

well see the thing is, i am not very confident in my ability. it is a surprise she still talks to me is it is considering some of the mega afc things ive done. she said once she wouldve gone out with me depending on how it was presented (a reference to the afc-ishness). those incidents from the past have sort of underminded my confidence and is part of the reason why i never thought i could get her. at the time she was also single but i think she has a guy now.

i feel bad that i am cutting her out of my life on purpose for something she can't help, as well as being a cool person to boot. i realize love is a two way street but i am pissed because i really liked her. being just 'friends' would just make me really miserable. so that's my dilemma.

 

[IKO69]

definately JJ. I will look into this bible. i sorta realize when approaching "top quality" girls i am expected to get burned, especially since i would never be mistaken for a don juan, but, it's hard to control who you like and don't like you know? heh. but the main thing here is whether i should even talk to her or acknowledge her because i know she won't consider me. and i admit it does hurt me.

 

[Skel]

Learn to capitalize I and words at the beginning of a sentence.

 

[realsmoothie]

hehe why not!

well see the thing is, i am not very confident in my ability. it is a surprise she still talks to me is it is considering some of the mega afc things ive done. she said once she wouldve gone out with me depending on how it was presented (a reference to the afc-ishness). those incidents from the past have sort of underminded my confidence and is part of the reason why i never thought i could get her. at the time she was also single but i think she has a guy now.

i feel bad that i am cutting her out of my life on purpose for something she can't help, as well as being a cool person to boot. i realize love is a two way street but i am pissed because i really liked her. being just 'friends' would just make me really miserable. so that's my dilemma.

I'm surprised you haven't been raked over the coals by some of the guys in here, maybe it's because you're new.

It's not "something she can't help". She's tagging you along, keeping you as a friend by asking you where you've been and the such. It doesn't sound to me like she's interested at all.

It's OK to make occasional contact, I'm sure, but only if you're not focusing on waiting for this girl. If that's so look up "oneitis" on this forum and start reading, you'll understand what I mean. I'm the oneitis-king, or at least I was before I learned more about "spinning plates" - another thing you can search for.

Good luck.

 

[IKO69]

I don't want to develop one-itis but i know myself and i know if i continue to talk i will just get sucked in. so what i'm basically asking is if this is a case where it's best to just say f it and move on forever. i have already wasted enough time and dealt with enough unnecessary stress. if i wasn't blinded by her hotness i probably would not care, as she is the partying/clubber type and i am not so i know we would never mesh so to speak.

and thanks in advance