"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

What the ****?

The Bat

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You'll only be a chump if you let her do the same thing to you again.

But hey you know what, I respect your decision. This isn't such a big deal to you, I'm sure. Like I said, this makes for a good story (a costly $40 though) by all means.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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ProDJ26

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damn thats **** up but you can learn from this experience. **** so can I !!!!
 

AlanB

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The Bat said:
You'll only be a chump if you let her do the same thing to you again.
Not in my opinion. Maybe in exceptional circumstances, like say, she apologised and begged for forgiveness and made up for it by say, taking me out for an expensive dinner and then putting out big time.
 

iqqi

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AlanB said:
Too late for that; already ditched her and chucked her number.

I don't know how you guys could want to have anything more to do with someone who stole off you like that. Maybe if it had been a good friend who was on hard times and got a bit desperate something could be worked out but a woman I met a week ago, met up with and did a spot of shagging with?
Not a chance in hell. She can trot on and find some other chump who wants to buy the key to her knickers.

^^^ You're no fun.

:D
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Centaurion

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HAHAHA!

Sorry man, but this sh!t is too funny. The worst thing is that I've been there and done that. Just take it with a smile and move along. At least now you'll have a fun story to tell your kids.
 

AlanB

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Centaurion said:
HAHAHA!

Sorry man, but this sh!t is too funny. The worst thing is that I've been there and done that. Just take it with a smile and move along. At least now you'll have a fun story to tell your kids.
True. I was pissed off when I posted but then I was with some friends and I told them and we all had a chuckle over it.

At the end of the day - I could afford to lose the money so it was no big deal really.
 

Effington

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I'll play devil's advocate and say I always think I spent less than I really did, that's a pretty rash judgement to say she stole it.
 
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