"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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what the **** is up!

Don_Jaime

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Hey, my lil sister has a friend who is like 19, and she is cute and she told my lil sis that I was hot, so I see her on myspace and send her the message. Hey I want to take you out sometime.Whats your number? She messages her number. I call her to come to a LMFAO concert on saturday with me and my lil sis, but no answer. I dont think she knew I called. I wake up today and the girl called me and missed her call. I call her back, and didnt know whose number it was. So I call her and asks who this is who called my number and she says, you dont know who this is? I am like, No. She says this is blah blah. Then I am like oh hey whats up girl. Then she immediately says, can I calll you back in 20 minutes>? I am like ok. She never calls. I am like WTF. I figured she wouldnt call back and she didnt. Do you think it is a game or just lost interest. **** young girls are nexting people for not knowing who the **** it is who is calling my phone. Whatta Country haha. Should I just ignore and move on or text her saying whats up with that? or call her, I know I would be giving power away to her side, but damn I wanna smash that *****. This is unbelieveable, I have thought I have seen it all lol at 22, but apparently not.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Don_Jaime

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umm apprecitate the info, but she is not going to get off the phone cuz the conversation went akward, seeing how we didnt even have a conversation. lol. I have been getting a **** load of play with women especially numbers lately, but they all seem to flake out on me or dis me with **** like this. It is annoying as ****. Anyone one else got something to add to the situation
 

Joe Stud

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settle back a little, but keep sargin. I predict she will fall all at once, like the "mighty oak tree"
 
E

Energizer

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Joe Stud said:
settle back a little, but keep sargin. I predict she will fall all at once, like the "mighty oak tree"
Then his sister finds out and the sh*t hits the fan. :whistle:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Scars

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Don_Jaime said:
Hey, my lil sister has a friend who is like 19, and she is cute and she told my lil sis that I was hot, so I see her on myspace and send her the message.
Your first mistake. I would recon sense this is your sister's friend that she frequents your house a lot? Why not just approach her face to face? This myspace sh!t is almost as bad as passing notes. This isn't third grade, you are 22 years old for christ sakes.

Hey I want to take you out sometime.Whats your number?
Not the smoothest thing in the world at all. You totally jumped the gun by asking her out without any prior rapport. All you know is that your sister told you she thought you were "cute". She still doesn't know you. It still doesn't change the fact that even if she agreed to hang with you it would still be akward, and so would every phone conversation that follows.

She messages her number. I call her to come to a LMFAO concert on saturday with me and my lil sis, but no answer.
I wonder why. No rapport. You jumped the gun and now you just seem creepy. But even if you DID gather enough rapport and trust from her, why the hell would you take her to a concert with your sister as a THIRD WHEEL? Hello?!

I dont think she knew I called. I wake up today and the girl called me and missed her call. I call her back, and didnt know whose number it was. So I call her and asks who this is who called my number and she says, you dont know who this is? I am like, No. She says this is blah blah. Then I am like oh hey whats up girl. Then she immediately says, can I calll you back in 20 minutes>? I am like ok. She never calls. I am like WTF. I figured she wouldnt call back and she didnt.
Was probably curious who was calling her, realized was you and was like "Oh sh!t" and came up with the quickest excuse she could think of to hang up on. Remember what I said earlier about akward phone conversations?

Do you think it is a game or just lost interest.
I would highly doubt this is a case of "hard to get" despite her age, because you screwed up a lot.

**** young girls are nexting people for not knowing who the **** it is who is calling my phone. Whatta Country haha. Should I just ignore and move on or text her saying whats up with that? or call her, I know I would be giving power away to her side, but damn I wanna smash that *****. This is unbelieveable, I have thought I have seen it all lol at 22, but apparently not.
Solution: Don't text her, or write her or call her for a few weeks. Spin some more plates on the side and let her contact you first. And even if/when she does, don't write her back then. Give it another couples days and wait to see if she writes again. Make her wonder what you're up to. Make her anxiety go up a bit, and trust me it will. If you went from contacting her everyday, smothering her and showing high interest in her she's going to wonder why all of the sudden you cut it off. She's going to think "what did I do wrong, why doesn't he like me anymore?" because she secretly gets off on the satisfaction of you liking her, it's going to fvck with her head. After awhile finally start talking to her, but be too "busy" to meet up with her for the first few times. This is your chance to lay down some rapport and make her trust you while her interest is sky-rocketed, and once the time is right (you'll know when it is) go in for the kill.
 

Byezbozhniy

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they all seem to flake out on me or dis me with **** like this. It is annoying as ****.
The one constant in this situation is YOU. What does that tell you?
 

Don_Jaime

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Byezbozhniy said:
The one constant in this situation is YOU. What does that tell you?
I know It is ME! That is why I am asking for advice here on what I should do, either in the situation, or on how to change myself so I can overcome this obstacle.

I mean come on! What the ****. People on here bashing and hating and **** when I know I am the problem, I just wanna know how to stop it! Jeez

If you dont have anything to add to the conversation that might help, then stay the **** away! I hate low self esteem people ****!
 

Byezbozhniy

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Dude, I'm not bashing. From reading your post it struck me that you think this bird is the problem -

young girls are nexting people for not knowing who the **** it is who is calling my phone. Whatta Country haha.
The lack of composure in your response screams AFC and this is why these women don't want to be with you. If you want advice, go and read the DJ Bible. If you don't find the answers there, then read it again.

The point I'm making is that you need to work on your inner game, and not be such a sensitive, reactionary Herbert.
 

sodbuster

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My 16 year old knows more-and cares less about women than you do. RELAX Does your dad baby you? Or does he drop it on your head like a hammer to get through to you? MEN are a little blunt, so learn to deal with it.

Your sisters friend said you were cute,not I want to be the mother of his children. Cute is a STARTING point not the end. Women want relationships, so they think about personality etc. If she's cute, we just want her[for the next 15 minutes] we aren't thinking longer term. You went from he's cute to asking her out without finding out anything about her. Is she someone you even want? You don't know-you were so desperate to "hit it" you asked her out before finding out. Make her show you you should be interested in her first.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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