"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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What the hell!?

Jon55

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So this girl I've been hanging out with who's pretty cool. We've been getting kinda close but we're not actually seeing each other (yet, I still haven't decided if I really want to date her or not, but I know she's really into me).

She and a friend of hers (girl) were going to this kick-back/party and I was going to meet them there. I had plans to go out of town for a week (which she already knew about, but I told her I would probably go to the party anyway). Well, I left for my trip early and didn't go.

I told her this on the phone (she called asking where I was...I kind of forgot to let her know) and she said she was really sad, telling me how I blew it, how she was starting to warm up to me but now not anymore (she said it in a kind of playful tone though). I said something like "Aw don't be mad, sorry I didn't let you know but I'll be back after the weekend". She continued acting mad/sad making me feel like I've disappointed her or something.

Anyway, I mean the girls' cool and all, but I just don't know if I really even want to date her yet, so I'm kinda indifferent about it. I mean if she is actually mad, what's she gonna do? Make out with a bunch of guys? Ignore me? Neither of those really bother me.

She's going out of town for the weekend too (driving long distance), and part of me wanted to text her saying something like "text me so I know you got in safely :)" or something, just so she feels special, but is that an afc move? Ugh, I have an afc past (and somewhat present) and it tends to speak up every now and then, and I don't know what to do sometimes.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Rhoto

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Silence is golden man. Don't give her any power.

She'll be back, don't stress over it. Take her friend and watch Indiana Jones.
 

Jon55

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Rhoto said:
Silence is golden man. Don't give her any power.

She'll be back, don't stress over it. Take her friend and watch Indiana Jones.

Good point man.
 

Jon55

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SilverSonnet said:
Rhoto got it right. Dont let her seethat she has any influence on your emotions or actions. Good luck ;)
Oy, thanks. I haven't spoken/texted a word since I got off the phone with her. I'll keep it that way till I see her next and be like nothings wrong. :up: Thank God for this forum and its' members.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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