what the freak? the new tinder etiquette?

[thebiglimp]

i just experienced the biggest rejection ever. or this is the new way people tinder and i should get on the program.

this girl unmatched me on tinder right after meeting me. i mean RIGHT after we part ways after couple of drinks.

now i'm not a bad looking guy. i don't think. been told the contrary times and times, in fact. and my tinder pics are the most unflattering ones in order to not cause any disappointment.

my conversation was a little off. i lost my filter after a drink or two and said some pretty liberal things about my younger days, which some take it in with great amusement.

attitude? i dunno. i was my usual self which most people don't have issue with.

so the only thing i can think of is my liberal talk and coming off as a wild person.

but unmatch me based on that? after spending 2 hrs with me with a fake smile?
i mean i've had lousy dates before but at least they text after the meet.

this girl's basically said 'get the freak away from me' with her immediate unmatching.

now what i wanna ask, besides letting off some steam here (haha), is can a woman be so judgmental as to be repelled by someone's life situation even if the guy's charming?

i'm not saying i was charming (i definitely wasn't to her) but can a person's history and his current financial situation be enough of a factor over his charm to be repulsive to a woman?

come to think of it, the second worst meet before this was with a similar woman- early 30, upper middle class, overdressed and under-attractive. and the 3rd worst also. it's always the least attractive ones who overcompensate with money and judge me the harshest.
maybe the pattern here is that these kind of women highly value stability and the opposite of that is a turn off. they just want a boring, stoic bread bringer who they can keep under their thumb.

funny side note- we met up with her girlfriend before parting ways. now this girlfriend was more attractive than her (which she told me in advance) and was flirting with me before i left, so i didn't have a nose hair sticking out or a fly squashed on my forehead or anything like that. i don't think the flirting's what made her unmatch me (we were already dead to eachother before meeting up with the friend) but this does confuse me even more about the woman's standards.

 

[Bingo-Player]

bro you aren't alone the majority of the male population are going through this sort of stuff daily

I'm actually getting genuinely concerned with the female mindset , its almost like unless you can find her emotional "switch" within a very short space of time you are tossed aside like garbage and labelled a "f@ck boy"

i met up with a chick from tinder a couple of weeks back , was with her a few hours conversation wasn't exactly electric but there wasn't any dry spots we kissed at the end and parted ways

i haven't heard a word off her since .....not even a thank you lmao

all you can do is take whatever experience you can from it and plod along to the next one

 

[dustmuffin]

Why would you care if she unmatches you? She wasn't interested. Good riddance. More women to be had. Dont waste your time thinking about women that are not interested in you. Purge your brain.....You learned a lesson and now you are better for it. I have had dates where I did a mid date kiss.....she told me I had beautiful eyes and that she liked my kisses......I didn't get a second date. Women are crazy. Get used to it and move along.

 

[thebiglimp]

lol that **** is crazy. maybe i have it easy then

bingo, i think you hit the nail in the head there. i did rant about my tinder adventures (only the crazy ones that i didnt hook up with) where as her profile said 'friendship only' blah blah. yeah right, as if you're gonna be looking only for friendship if brad pitt swipes right.

 

[JohnChops]

You guys sound like a bunch of old men complaining because a girl unmatched you from a dating app. Thanks for the laughs. Why even care? I don't get it.

 

[logicallefty]

For guys with experience they would already know she wasnt interested before the date was over. But for an inexperienced guy she just did him a big favor and eliminated the guesswork. OP for which ever you are it doesn't really matter. The only mistake you could make at this point is to try and still pursue her and I doubt that you will.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

They are just tinder sloots what do you expect? I do the same after meeting them.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Understand.....women are damaged bruh

 

[thebiglimp]

2 drinks and 4 hrs of my time and you weren't even average looking. and then not even a thank you?!. i'm still pissed off about it.

from now on it's gonna be strictly lunch hour coffee for first meet for me.

live and learn.

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, was the date itself and the conversation awkward, or flowing?

Sometimes we get target fixation and we forget that we are superior to them in every way except looks, and that THEY must prove themselves to US. I never started doing well with women until I figured out that I must carry a superior attitude and that they can only be attracted at the core level to such a man.

Every woman wants a man who is superior to her. Take that to the bank. You must radiate superiority to women. That superiority is ideally tempered with being a poised gentleman with a mischievous "bad boy" side. This is a lethal combination.

 

[unknowncitizen]

One piece of advice I'd offer OP is NEVER mention Tinder (especially previous dates) when you meet a woman for the first time unless it's clear the date is leading nowhere, you're out of topics, and you want to fill the silence as you finish your last drink. People unmatch for a wide variety of reasons so there's no use getting upset over it. There's also always the possibility that she deleted Tinder right after your date.

This is where it becomes important to get the number in advance. Though you claim your conversation was off, she may have had a nice time and wants to see you again but feels as though Tinder is not for her and got rid of it. This has happened to me before and, though it is a warning sign that she's the type of person to get attached too easily, at least you're not left wondering what went right/wrong during the date.

If you didn't get the number then...don't take it personal and move on.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

GTFO of Tinder

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

She just wanted free drinks. She's a broke bvtch.

 

[CMNILS87]

1. 1 hour first dates
2. Buy your own drink and 1 for her
3. Segue talk from blah to relationships to sex and then leave.
4. Let her talk. Ask her a question, tell her to explain in detail, and keep goin with it.

 

[Korrupt]

GTFO of Tinder

For a lot of us busy guys, it's the only way to have a chance at meeting people. Most of my lays have been from dating sites/apps.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

GTFO of Tinder

Agreed.

While meeting girls at the bar isn't exactly awesome, you are able to filter for chemestry and go on instant dates right at the bar or after.

I think Tinder is adding to the massive amounts of social retardation and mis-calibration I see when I am out. Guys don't notice a half "WTF face" when they put their arms around the girl and get all in their space. It's like people forget how to socialize and have no clue about the dance of seduction.

Go out and meet people the old way and approach a girl you are interested in and see if there is anything there... if not, then move on to a different set.

I'm Asian so I can't match for shyt on Tinder anyways. I consider this a blessing in disguise.

 

[Poonani Maker]

bro you aren't alone the majority of the male population are going through this sort of stuff daily

I'm actually getting genuinely concerned with the female mindset , its almost like unless you can find her emotional "switch" within a very short space of time you are tossed aside like garbage and labelled a "f@ck boy"

i met up with a chick from tinder a couple of weeks back , was with her a few hours conversation wasn't exactly electric but there wasn't any dry spots we kissed at the end and parted ways

i haven't heard a word off her since .....not even a thank you lmao

all you can do is take whatever experience you can from it and plod along to the next one

I've had the same, but with a POF date, we went to REI, then to a bar (with excellent beer), ate a full meal the both of us, had other dudes at the bar trying to peel her off of me (she wasn't "hot" but they were older and jealous I think), to which I handled with total calmness and security, being friendly to them but with a hint of feeling sorry for them, and she slurped it up, my handling of the AMOG.

So we sit by a firepit outside with kids skateboarding around, then we go to her car (small) and as I'm about to leave after talking for a bit, we start kissing, then deep french kissing, then I start rubbing her pvssy through her jeans (um, shouldn't have done that, but she didn't stop me as we kept kissing, she was probably a little bi and I think that she was so allowing to me because her roommate had a boyfriend and she didn't and hadn't been kissing in a while by a Man, so she was open to let that pintuptness out).

She takes me to my truck (beat up, not jacked, hail damage, but I only care that it's paid off for over a decade so if she cares so much about my ride, then fvck her, I don't care). She never texted or called or said thanks and neither did I. Why? because I've banged MUCH MUCH MUCH better pieces of as5, and could have taken her or left her. It doesn't bother me when a chick doesn't like me, because I've banged so many of them, and just like in customer service or in business, I know it's Just Them because I have so many references of good experiences with so many other people. It's Their problem, Their hangups, not mine. I befriend just about ANYbody, the poor, the handicapped, the very old. I talk to outcast and outsider people AT LENGTH and give my time away freely. Trailor home people, it doesn't matter, but trailor park people are definitely the weirdest of ALL peoples in America or on the planet fo sho.

 

[Who Dares Win]

First of all dont complain most of us hardly get matches, those who do, not always get a reply or the conversation working let alone meeting.

It happened something similar to me and I wrote about it few months ago, basically she made her plan deciding we were supposed to date countless time before letting any intimacy happen, busted my balls about being with a guy for years before he leaving her to avoid the marriage so she was basically looking for a substitute to replay that game.

I run my game, played my cards and she never let any intimacy happen at that point mid date I understood there was no point to kept the convo light, didnt buy her anything but had her pay her own stuff, then gently got her to the taxi station and left despite she was hinting that it was early or that for date 2 we could have go somewhere ecc ecc.

I avoided those talks and didnt text nor called her the following day, she remained silent than once understood "things were not going the way she wanted" she deleted me.

Trust me, she did you a favour and this is not a way to rationalize a loss, she really made you a favour cause whatever you wanted she was not it.

 

[fw14b]

bro you aren't alone the majority of the male population are going through this sort of stuff daily

I'm actually getting genuinely concerned with the female mindset , its almost like unless you can find her emotional "switch" within a very short space of time you are tossed aside like garbage and labelled a "f@ck boy"

i met up with a chick from tinder a couple of weeks back , was with her a few hours conversation wasn't exactly electric but there wasn't any dry spots we kissed at the end and parted ways

i haven't heard a word off her since .....not even a thank you lmao

all you can do is take whatever experience you can from it and plod along to the next one

Spot on, sounds like my more recent experiences with tinder

 

[Slash Dolo]

It's just Tinder. She was probably looking for a one night stand and you just ended up talking about yourself with no escalation and no seduction. I'd unmatch a girl who talked to me about something i didnt care about and didn't put out too, lol. Don't take it too personal.