What should you do when you and a friend like the same girl

[Dam44]

So my friend(not too sure if I should still call him that) and I like the same girl.

We met on facebook after our university's admission list was released and since then we've been friends.

Then I met this girl I like in our first year (same department, I made a thread about her) too. I was very inexperienced then, didn't go fully for what I wanted. I was good friends with her though we'd flirt and all that

Then, second year, I discover he's interested in her. I'm not totally sure if he knew I was interested in her.

So I pretend like I don't know he wants her and he pretends like he doesn't know I like her. We didn't ever talk about us liking her. He was my next neighbour in my hostel. I'd go his room, he'd come to mine. (but I was more of the one going)

Now, here's what got me pissed. He tried playing dirty. So in my country, our phone lines are prepaid. You recharge it to get data or airtime. So I buy data most of the time but I get free Airtime bonus which I don't use most times cos I don't call often

He would come and say he run out of airtime and he needed to speak with someone. So I'd give him my phone. I didn't bother to check my call logs.

Until one day, another mutual friend tipped me off comically that he had been calling my crush with my phone just after I had given him my phone again and told me to stop giving it to him

When he returned it, I checked my logs and it was true. I stopped giving him my phone since then but right now that I remember, I feel angry and betrayed.

We've not spoken so well since this pandemic

Are real friends that difficult to find?

I know I'm at fault too but what should one do when your friend is interested in the same girl?

And most friends I try to get advice from are not very sincere. I feel like they're after her too.

I really need to learn how to keep stuff to myself

 

[Serenity]

You go for the girl and she makes the choice. If your friend has a problem with it, he's no longer your friend.

 

[logicallefty]

You go for the girl and she makes the choice. If your friend has a problem with it, he's no longer your friend.

This^. Especially since he’s compelled himself to sneak behind your back.

 

[17 shots]

how long were there conversations when you checked the call log. Was he chatting her up for hours or what

 

[backseatjuan]

You haven’t fcked her she don’t see you sexually attractive thus you let your friend hit it. You as a player look for other brches you take on dates and fck not this sht I jerked off on her dor two years my friend ia fcking her he not my frind no more I’m a playa hater.

 

[Spaz]

A male friend can potentially be a faithful friend through thick and thin.

Male friendships is something that brings you a profit - regardless if u r a male or female.

Can any of you say the same abt women?

When a man places women as a Prize to be won over, he has devalued himself and now becomes a liability instead of a profit.

It all starts off with the right kind of mindset....how you think will see you down a path that's of ur own choosing.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Isn't this male nature tho? Competing for females? In the animal kingdom you and your friend would have gotten in some form of courtship contest and the winner would have gotten to mate with her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It's dumb to let a female come between a friendship. Unless you both know shes a ho and your playing games for fun.

 

[RangerMIke]

A good friend is worth his weight in gold... chicks can be replaced. Fighting over a woman is the stupidest think a man can do.

I've seen this a number of times in my life, and here is some truth. One of two things is happening. (1) The woman already knows who she likes better, and she is using the other man to exert control over the dude she wants using jealousy. (2) She doesn't really like either dude and this is all entertainment for her... something she can yack about with her friends.

 

[2Rocky]

You had your chance with the woman, and lost it. Move on. She is the one you should be ditching.

Your buddy is just a guy, and he is doing what a Man should do. Getting in the pants of a receptive woman.

Don't be a ***** and don't create drama with him. Women are like trains ...there will be another by in 15 minutes.

I recall a woman from a neighboring university I bedded after a couple of dates and managed to double my lay count after a week or so. She was on the rebound and predictably she dumped my needy ass. A couple weeks later I hooked up with a hot chick in my Biology lab and started dating her. Then came to find out Girl 1 was now dating my buddy. You know what made it better? I was Facking some one else who was better looking....


Post script...During Spring Break later that year, she traveled 800 miles to a town near my hometown and contacted me to meet up. I had a chance to probably screw her but I held off.... I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

A good friend is worth his weight in gold... chicks can be replaced. Fighting over a woman is the stupidest think a man can do.

I've seen this a number of times in my life, and here is some truth. One of two things is happening. (1) The woman already knows who she likes better, and she is using the other man to exert control over the dude she wants using jealousy. (2) She doesn't really like either dude and this is all entertainment for her... something she can yack about with her friends.

If she's been persistently single she probably does use her men situations as entertainment for her kids.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If your friend know you was already talking to her he shouldn't even be there in the first place. If you guys said she was just a ho and having fun and games then it doesn't matter.

 

[Dam44]

how long were there conversations when you checked the call log. Was he chatting her up for hours or what

The longest was about 37 minutes. The others were about or less than 20 minutes

The length isn't really the problem. Imagine what she'd think, when my name displays only for her to hear his voice

 

[Dam44]

You haven’t fcked her she don’t see you sexually attractive thus you let your friend hit it. You as a player look for other brches you take on dates and fck not this sht I jerked off on her dor two years my friend ia fcking her he not my frind no more I’m a playa hater.

He hit nothing

 

[Dam44]

A male friend can potentially be a faithful friend through thick and thin.

Male friendships is something that brings you a profit - regardless if u r a male or female.

Can any of you say the same abt women?

When a man places women as a Prize to be won over, he has devalued himself and now becomes a liability instead of a profit.

It all starts off with the right kind of mindset....how you think will see you down a path that's of ur own choosing.

I haven't 'stopped' being friends with him. I reached out to him and he was kinda cold

 

[Dam44]

Isn't this male nature tho? Competing for females? In the animal kingdom you and your friend would have gotten in some form of courtship contest and the winner would have gotten to mate with her.

In the animal kingdom, that's true. But I wouldn't do that to a friend

Something I made sure I did was to be laid-back. I didn't actually like it was a competition

 

[HyenaPrince]

How old are you and what country are you from?

 

[Dam44]

If you're really good friends, you should be able to sort it out between the two of you with no hard feelings. Bros before hos.

He doesn't sound like a very good friend, though, since he's engaging in skullduggery instead of just being straight with you.

In that case I'll tell you what someone once told me.

It's not your job to ask his permission, but it is your job not to feel bitter if he scores and you don't.

It feels like there's a drift between us.

Lol, not being bitter would be quite difficult but this is good advice.

 

[Dam44]

How old are you and what country are you from?

19, Nigerian

 

[HyenaPrince]

19, Nigerian

Is it rather luxurious to have a phone and being able to charge it?