What she wears = how she feels/wants to feel

[DonJuanabe]

Over the last few months I've come to realize that, in the game of dating, you should mirror how a girl dresses. Before that I always wore very casual, comfortable clothes. Jeans, sweatshirt, etc.

One can argue a man should dress how he wants, period. I did that with my oneitis back in the spring, and on two occasions she was angry that I was dressed in jeans while she was looking fine, and while I place value on doing what I want, you have to ask yourself: which is more important, wearing what you want or getting/keeping the girl you want? Remember a girl's feelings for you change bit by bit as little things accumulate.

Women dress based on their feelings, and if a woman is dressed very well it is generally because she feels or wants to feel sexy or romantic. That's why clothes are so important to women -- it's how they portray how they feel about themselves to the world around them. They rarely verbalize how they feel. As Rollo says "the medium is the message".

Since the spring my wardrobe has increased dramatically, both in quantity and quality. Four suits. Baggy sweaters replaced with form fitting sweaters. Tons of fitted dress shirts. While I like how pleats look they are also designed for overweight men, so now the pleats are gone. On a date I wear dress shoes rather than comfortable moc style shoes.

Women are solipsistic and judgmental. A woman will interpret how you are dressed with both your opinion of yourself and your opinion of her. Thus, you have to decide what's important: getting/keeping the girl or doing your own thing.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Over the last few months I've come to realize that, in the game of dating, you should mirror how a girl dresses. Before that I always wore very casual, comfortable clothes. Jeans, sweatshirt, etc.

One can argue a man should dress how he wants, period. I did that with my oneitis back in the spring, and on two occasions she was angry that I was dressed in jeans while she was looking fine, and while I place value on doing what I want, you have to ask yourself: which is more important, wearing what you want or getting/keeping the girl you want? Remember a girl's feelings for you change bit by bit as little things accumulate.

Women dress based on their feelings, and if a woman is dressed very well it is generally because she feels or wants to feel sexy or romantic. That's why clothes are so important to women -- it's how they portray how they feel about themselves to the world around them. They rarely verbalize how they feel. As Rollo says "the medium is the message".

Since the spring my wardrobe has increased dramatically, both in quantity and quality. Four suits. Baggy sweaters replaced with form fitting sweaters. Tons of fitted dress shirts. While I like how pleats look they are also designed for overweight men, so now the pleats are gone. On a date I wear dress shoes rather than comfortable moc style shoes.

Women are solipsistic and judgmental. A woman will interpret how you are dressed with both your opinion of yourself and your opinion of her. Thus, you have to decide what's important: getting/keeping the girl or doing your own thing.

Thats an interesting point, +1

edit repped u recently so forget it

 

[DonJuanabe]

Scott,

I am discussing clothing and how women view it. What's your demographic -- $10/week allowance? Mine is a salary of over 6 figures. I'm NOT saying I'm special because of that, I'm saying the women in my world make that kind of money and they dress accordingly. Women express how they feel about themselves with their clothes and they expect men to dress similarly. I have been warned by colleagues numerous times not to wear jeans and a hoodie on a date yet I've done it much to my chagrin. Why? Because the impression is that I don't have my shyt together financially; that I'm a kid; that I don't take her or the date seriously. That is simply what it looks like to a woman 30+ who has her career and financial house in order and has many choices among men who will date her. Maybe it'd be appropriate in high school but it sure as f*ck isn't in the adult world (despite the fact that I like it).

Perhaps this should be in the "mature man" forum because, sure, it doesn't necessarily apply to teenagers and college kids who don't have careers, don't have their financial shyt in order, and whose population world is closed (high school, college).

Note: I said mirror how the girl dresses. If you're in to granola girls who wear jeans, sandals, and burlap shirts DON'T put on slacks and an oxford shirt. That's not how she dresses/feels about herself and her world. To her a three piece suit might represent what's wrong with the world - you know, corporate tools not caring about the environment and focusing solely on money. Etc.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Women dress based on their feelings, and if a woman is dressed very well it is generally because she feels or wants to feel sexy or romantic.

I worked at an mma event in a very small town last weekend. One of the great things about fight events, whether it's boxing or mma, is that it gives women an excuse to dress like slvts, especially in places where there is no dance club to be seen. It's like Halloween in that respect. Any woman who will stand around in stiletto heels while unaccompanied by a guy is just begging for you to talk to her. If you can mention that you like her shoes, while at the same time pretend to not notice that she is smoking hot and half-naked, then you pass the test, and she is as good as yours.

 

[omega05]

But I mean is this a revelation to you? Not even for women but just in general, how are you making 6 figures and wearing jeans/hoodies on a date? Go to the gap/ brooks brothers/j crew/ express etc and get some slacks and button ups/polo's and khaki's and dress shoes.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Omega: No, not a revelation. I just never gave a crap until I got sick of that attitude working against me so much. I was spoiled due to being in a 7 year relationship where I could get away with dressing down because the girl loved me so much (we'd fight about it but I could get away with meeting her half way about what I wore). Successful dating > wearing whatever the F I feel like wearing. That said, notice that Scott argued against what I wrote and WDW liked the point about women's internal judgment mechanism.

Scott: How will you know what she's going to wear? You won't know exactly but you have to gauge that on the venue you'll be at and what you know about her. What does she do for career? What's her background? What have you seen her wear in the past? Do you think she is going to want to impress you? Etc. In the past, with that information, my attitude was always "I don't care I wear what I feel like wearing regardless of the girl" but that is an immature attitude because it doesn't accept the reality of being appropriate in order to make a good impression on the girl.

 

[VladPatton]

It all depends on the girl and where you are going. Can't wear jeans and a T at a wedding, and you can't wear a tux on a nature hike. Situational calibration is the key.