"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What NOT to do?
- Thread starter S.Y.L
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
As for the large list posted earlier in this thread, I agree most of those things should generally be avoided. I disagree with some, however. I definitely think there are some times when you can compliment a girl for being pretty; many find it flattering. Also, I don't think it hurts to imply how thin she looks at times. My point is, that everyone has a different style and, believe it or not, so do girls. Don't shoot yourself in the foot by trying too hard to follow these "rules." They are not set in stone. Think of them as tips that you should take with a grain of salt.
A lot of the times, it just shows desperation, which is never good. Desperation is the result of something else where you're lacking, be it social skills or confidence or whatever. Many will think "Doesn't this guy have anything better to do than to text me all the time?" or "This guy must be really into me" (many times, resulting in the end of the thrill of the chase)
Amberjhons
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zekko
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If a girl finds a guy attractive, you're right, stuff like that probably doesn't matter, she probably loves it. The problem is when you haven't built the attraction yet and do this stuff, it can put the woman in a position of power where she knows you want her but she doesn't really care. That's when it can seem desperate and kill the thrill of the chase like WCF said.Zebedee said:
I think you want to seem interested in her to spark her interest, but leave some doubt in her mind so she wonders about it.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That way, she will be guessing if you like her or not, if you ask her to hang out.