"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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What mistakes did I make?

LeonSK

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I've known this girl for a while. We have mutual friends and have seen each other before a couple times. She seems interested in me. We would flirt through text once in a while.

So, I made out with her on Saturday, attempted going further but got rejected (successfully stripped her clothes off but she put them back on, maybe I didn't take enough time to heat it up). BTW, she has very hot body. Then we went out and did some hiking together and had fun. We held hands. I was being needy and attempted kissing like two to three times but she always shied away, which made me more eager to kiss her. I was quite annoyed.

Second day, I tried to ask her out for dinner. Not sure if it's too fast to ask for a second date. She replied me after dinner time, saying just woke up from a nap.

I sensed something was wrong with her. She used to be very responsive -- not so much now. I was so keen to know what she was thinking in her mind (I shouldn't even bother…). I was a bit paranoid and got a bit emotional, told her I had a feeling for her and hoped to know her better (probably the biggest mistake). Then a couple hours later, I got her response, saying she's not open to dating or relationship at the moment, but thanks me for telling her what I think.

I found so hard to control my emotions, especially after I had some intimate interaction with a girl. I need to fix this!

My questions for the DJs, what do you do after you guys having already made out? after your first date? what are the mistakes do you think I had made? Up to this point, should I next her?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Pimp-sicle

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You answered all your own questions, but if you want a recap.

-trying to kiss her too often
-holding hands - don't do that so early
-expressing your feelings - that was the dagger
-asking her out too soon after you already saw her, which killed the last bit of interest she had in you.


Lastly, making it out is really no big deal. It doesn't mean anything.

Control your emotions, get more options and realize that women are additions to your life, not the focus.








PIMP
 

Big Nuts

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Again...don't ask her out. Tell her you two are going out.

All men need to learn this simple nuance.

If she rejects you, then who cares....move on.....but at least you went down in flames like a man who has a pair.

P.S.... True^^, don't tell her how you feel, women love the mystery in men....keeps their hamsters spinning.
 

LeonSK

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Thanks guys! Should I next her up to this point? I feel going ghost is the only option...
 

Mike32ct

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Don't delete her number just yet, but back off and go ghost.

Right now, she thinks you are too clingy. Your only hope to redeem yourself is to go ghost and see if she contacts you.

Although odds of turning this around are slim.

I agree with everything Pimp said.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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noheroes

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one of my favorite things to do, if the tension has been ratcheted up (like, you'd made out and you were hiking) is don't touch but out of the blue look at her and go "girl, i f*cking want you right now." then keep on going like nothing happened. you get to express your desire, but it's outcome independent. the fact that you were "annoyed" instead of playful is where you went wrong.
 
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