"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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What mistakes did I make?

LeonSK

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I've known this girl for a while. We have mutual friends and have seen each other before a couple times. She seems interested in me. We would flirt through text once in a while.

So, I made out with her on Saturday, attempted going further but got rejected (successfully stripped her clothes off but she put them back on, maybe I didn't take enough time to heat it up). BTW, she has very hot body. Then we went out and did some hiking together and had fun. We held hands. I was being needy and attempted kissing like two to three times but she always shied away, which made me more eager to kiss her. I was quite annoyed.

Second day, I tried to ask her out for dinner. Not sure if it's too fast to ask for a second date. She replied me after dinner time, saying just woke up from a nap.

I sensed something was wrong with her. She used to be very responsive -- not so much now. I was so keen to know what she was thinking in her mind (I shouldn't even bother…). I was a bit paranoid and got a bit emotional, told her I had a feeling for her and hoped to know her better (probably the biggest mistake). Then a couple hours later, I got her response, saying she's not open to dating or relationship at the moment, but thanks me for telling her what I think.

I found so hard to control my emotions, especially after I had some intimate interaction with a girl. I need to fix this!

My questions for the DJs, what do you do after you guys having already made out? after your first date? what are the mistakes do you think I had made? Up to this point, should I next her?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Pimp-sicle

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You answered all your own questions, but if you want a recap.

-trying to kiss her too often
-holding hands - don't do that so early
-expressing your feelings - that was the dagger
-asking her out too soon after you already saw her, which killed the last bit of interest she had in you.


Lastly, making it out is really no big deal. It doesn't mean anything.

Control your emotions, get more options and realize that women are additions to your life, not the focus.








PIMP
 

Big Nuts

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Again...don't ask her out. Tell her you two are going out.

All men need to learn this simple nuance.

If she rejects you, then who cares....move on.....but at least you went down in flames like a man who has a pair.

P.S.... True^^, don't tell her how you feel, women love the mystery in men....keeps their hamsters spinning.
 

LeonSK

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Thanks guys! Should I next her up to this point? I feel going ghost is the only option...
 

Mike32ct

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Don't delete her number just yet, but back off and go ghost.

Right now, she thinks you are too clingy. Your only hope to redeem yourself is to go ghost and see if she contacts you.

Although odds of turning this around are slim.

I agree with everything Pimp said.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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noheroes

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one of my favorite things to do, if the tension has been ratcheted up (like, you'd made out and you were hiking) is don't touch but out of the blue look at her and go "girl, i f*cking want you right now." then keep on going like nothing happened. you get to express your desire, but it's outcome independent. the fact that you were "annoyed" instead of playful is where you went wrong.
 
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