What makes girls obsessed with a man?

[Hamurabimbi]

From an ex- They only talk about sex.

 

[SW15]

PIV orgasms.

I did plenty of this to all of my exes, lol. Not many became obsessed with me after I broke things off.

It helps the cause and makes it more likely. It's not a guarantee of obsession.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Meets her fantasia type criteria, knows how to push the right buttons. You can't mold yourself into this man, you are either her type or not.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

It's about being unique and desirable but yet elusive. That is the nature of a great seducer and let's be real, great seducers are RARE but consistently desirable and consistently elusive.

If you want a full dissertation and well researched tome on the subject read Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. It goes deeply into detail about the psychology of seduction, which of course is the psychology of obsession.

Bear in mind that desirable yet elusive go hand in hand. This reflects emotional unavailability, wanting what one cannot have, etc as noted by other posters in this thread. There is an aloofness about such a person. But there is also that ability to back it up.

Examples:

My husband was obsessed years ago over a girl he met in an internet chat room. She tantalized him over the messages in the chat one night & when he called her out on it she drove 3 hours in the middle of the night to meet him, banged his brains out like a freak all night and then she vanished out of his life never to be heard from again. He never knew her name but he was "messed up" over that girl for months back then and still recalls that whole experience with clarity and awe. But she was an elusive fantasy and based on her behavior she knew that and knew exactly what she was doing. He was merely a conquest, notch & good story to her.

My ex BF of 3 years will never get over me. I was exactly what he wanted but he set the rules and would not be fully committed. Fine. I played by his rules so he was never able to fully possess me and I never ever chased him like other women. He fell deeply in love with me but got physical one night so things ended abruptly.

4 years later I am out with my husband & run into ex BF. He is cordial, wants to be best mates with my husband, trying to catch up with me, his best friend tells me they have talked countless hours about me over the years, I'm the one who got away etc. For 6 weeks after running into him randomly he tries to re-establish contact. He's been blocked for years on everything but he got creative, established new social media accounts and proceeded to full court press me any way he could think of. I never responded to anything. Thankfully he has stopped (I showed my husband everything, total transparency). And I asked my husband to please listen next time when I say it's best not to show up somewhere he goes....

It is a combination of being desirable & yet elusive. Read Art of Seduction.

 

[RickTheToad]

Most people have encountered women who still are fixated on a male ex after years and years. Some people have even encountered a man who has this effect on women.

This is different from being good with women. It's different from making them attracted to you or getting them into bed, and it's even kind of different from being able to easily get the girlfriend of your choice.

So what is it? What creates this enduring obsession in women?

I will say this over and over again: If you are looking for a long-term relationship or marriage, you need to look for a female one or two notches below you. She will always look up to you and know that you're the prize, not her. I've dated 8s and 9s, and all they produce are headaches. Rest assured, if you build yourself up to an 8 or 9, and date a 6/7, you will be sitting pretty in life. If you're a 9 and date a 9, it's going to be a pain in the a$$.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

 

[pipeman84]

I will say this over and over again: If you are looking for a long-term relationship or marriage, you need to look for a female one or two notches below you. She will always look up to you and know that you're the prize, not her. I've dated 8s and 9s, and all they produce are headaches. Rest assured, if you build yourself up to an 8 or 9, and date a 6/7, you will be sitting pretty in life. If you're a 9 and date a 9, it's going to be a pain in the a$$.

Those are so relative and subjective they're in fact meaningless ... there is no objective criteria to define an 8, a 9 etc. Not only that, but they are dynamic ... that 9 girl becomes a 6 after gaining 25 pounds. A 9 can instantly become an 1 if it turns out she did some hardcore porn. That 6 guy becomes a 9 after a few years, once he matures and his income increases.

 

[RickTheToad]

Those are so relative and subjective they're in fact meaningless ... there is no objective criteria to define an 8, a 9 etc. Not only that, but they are dynamic ... that 9 girl becomes a 6 after gaining 25 pounds. A 9 can instantly become an 1 if it turns out she did some hardcore porn. That 6 guy becomes a 9 after a few years, once he matures and his income increases.

Whatever you say dude.

 

[NealIRC]

My husband was obsessed years ago over a girl he met in an internet chat room. She tantalized him over the messages in the chat one night & when he called her out on it she drove 3 hours in the middle of the night to meet him, banged his brains out like a freak all night and then she vanished out of his life never to be heard from again. He never knew her name but he was "messed up" over that girl for months back then and still recalls that whole experience with clarity and awe. But she was an elusive fantasy and based on her behavior she knew that and knew exactly what she was doing. He was merely a conquest, notch & good story to her.

So this was revenge, wasn't it?

 

[BeExcellent]

So this was revenge, wasn't it?

Not sure what you are asking about here.

There is no revenge anywhere in either example I gave.

 

[NealIRC]

Not sure what you are asking about here.

There is no revenge anywhere in either example I gave.

So why did she do it?

 

[BeExcellent]

So why did she do it?

The chat room chick? No idea. Maybe she routinely did stuff like that, maybe she was horny, etc Maybe she thought my husband was full of shjt or full of himself, who knows (and he probably was full of himself at that time.) Maybe she was married & wanted to get down & dirty. Who knows. It was years before I knew him.

She had him sprung, rocked his world every which way according to him, and vanished. Quite the ONS, lol.

 

[RickTheToad]

I have a small micro-penis, so I guess I'm out of luck.

 

[NealIRC]

The chat room chick? No idea. Maybe she routinely did stuff like that, maybe she was horny, etc Maybe she thought my husband was full of shjt or full of himself, who knows (and he probably was full of himself at that time.) Maybe she was married & wanted to get down & dirty. Who knows. It was years before I knew him.

She had him sprung, rocked his world every which way according to him, and vanished. Quite the ONS, lol.

But sounds like she planned to kick it with him then disappear in his life, so he must have did something to her in the chatrooms. Like maybe he boasted about himself with a big ego.

 

[Solomon]

High attraction+chemsitry (in regards to conversation mesh well together)+emotional avalibitliy

OR

She is batshyt crazy+Highly attracted to you

Source: Personal experience heh

 

[BeExcellent]

But sounds like she planned to kick it with him then disappear in his life, so he must have did something to her in the chatrooms. Like maybe he boasted about himself with a big ego.

That could very well be true. We'll never know, lol.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Doing things to them in the bedroom that they have never had done before...making them squirt, cvmming multiple times, banging them for hours, positions that they have never experienced, etc etc...

Once you flip that switch in a woman's brain, she will become addicted to you in a way that overrides any logic.

 

[NealIRC]

That could very well be true. We'll never know, lol.

I mean I heard a similar version of this story. Girl invites herself over to guy's place they have dinner she likely dresses erotic, but no sex, and when she leaves, she's gone completely. Wish women tried that on me. I guess they're too nervous to!

 

[NealIRC]

No, they won't do that to the guys who wish for it. They reserve that for guys they're attracted to. Just like threesomes.

It has to be to guys that they deem deserve it and are not "too nervous" to. Not going to try to do it to a guy that will flip the tables on her and make it feel like it's her loss.