"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What is your weakness?

lizardking82

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I get accused of not being romantic. I've heard it from a few girls so I'm sure they are right. But I always ask them..."what have you done that's romantic?" lol
Being romantic seems so beta to me. And what has she done to deserve it anyways?

After I've been in a relationship for a while, I get tired of wining and dining them and they always notice that too. I often hear, you were so nice/sweet to me in the beginning. After the biatching starts and they have a few episodes of drama, I start to become less interested.

I really don't care to work on these problems either! :D I am who I am, they don't deserve perfection! haha
Don't be romantic. There is one thing girls don't understand and that is that they want us to love them like they love us. We're different creatures, we don't love them the same way. What might feel like the highest amount of love to me as a guy would probably seem fickle to her. Does that make it wrong? Of course not. One of the reasons guys are so emasculated nowadays is that the Hollywood/feminist train has convinced men should be all shmoopy moopy, in love, cuddling, caressing and **** like that. That's not my kind of love and I will not be ashamed of it anytime.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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1. I procrastinate.
2. I don’t have any motivation for certain things that could greatly improve my life.
3. I fall back more on discipline because of the lack of motivation, but I don’t have enough discipline anymore.
4. I need to sleep more.
5. I often overanalyze myself and daydream when I am alone sometimes about a world where everything is as I want it to be. Wishful thinking perhaps.

All of this can be summarized by one thing: I need to be stronger. I need to be tougher. I am not strong or tough enough yet for my ‘perfect daydream world’ to manifest.
 

lizardking82

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There is a couple things here...

Try to reason with people too much? Can you elaborate?
Fatherly sense? This sounds like a good thing. Caring for someone doesn't necessitate that their poor behaviors affect your life.

So what can you change?
Caring for someone requires energy, time, nerves. When you care and wanna do good to different people who are leaving you without looking much back as to how much they might be hurting you, you're wasting time. I have done this quite a lot in the past, I am reducing it now altogether for the simple reason that there are some things in people you can never fix. I don't want anyone in my life who doesn't appreciate my investing of time and energy in making them feel good, secure, happy.
 

Roober

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Don't be romantic. There is one thing girls don't understand and that is that they want us to love them like they love us. We're different creatures, we don't love them the same way. What might feel like the highest amount of love to me as a guy would probably seem fickle to her. Does that make it wrong? Of course not. One of the reasons guys are so emasculated nowadays is that the Hollywood/feminist train has convinced men should be all shmoopy moopy, in love, cuddling, caressing and **** like that. That's not my kind of love and I will not be ashamed of it anytime.
Romance can be presented in so many ways. For example....

-a small text just saying "thinking of you"
-flowers (but that is obvious)
-take her out dancing
-have a picnic
-sunset/sunrise
-take a hike and surprise her with something at the end

It is beta if overdoing it, or you expect something in return. Do you have ideas to be more romantic?

Your other issue is your change in behavior. We don't want our women to change, so we shouldn't do it either, is that correct? If you can't wine and dine them forever, then do it sparingly in the beginning. Be the person you really are from the get go? Just brainstorming here...

Caring for someone requires energy, time, nerves. When you care and wanna do good to different people who are leaving you without looking much back as to how much they might be hurting you, you're wasting time. I have done this quite a lot in the past, I am reducing it now altogether for the simple reason that there are some things in people you can never fix. I don't want anyone in my life who doesn't appreciate my investing of time and energy in making them feel good, secure, happy.
Have you heard the analogy.... Expectations are pre-meditated resentments.

Your issue is your expectations, not the individuals that are supposedly taking advantages of you. You are not giving your time and energy without expectations; which are very likely completely oblivious to the others. You can't EVER expect someone to return a favor for a favor. It would be nice, but that should not be your reason for doing it. That is the basic definition of "the nice guy" that women loathe.

Another example is a family loan. If you loan a family member money, you might as well consider it a gift. If they pay you back great. If they do not, you do not loan them more money, but you do not hold it against them either.

And lastly, if a woman gives you her world, should you be expected to give that much back to her? Not at all. Manage your expectations and your gifts will truly be gifts, and you will learn to channel them towards the appropriate people
 

Roober

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1. I procrastinate.
2. I don’t have any motivation for certain things that could greatly improve my life.
3. I fall back more on discipline because of the lack of motivation, but I don’t have enough discipline anymore.
4. I need to sleep more.
5. I often overanalyze myself and daydream when I am alone sometimes about a world where everything is as I want it to be. Wishful thinking perhaps.

All of this can be summarized by one thing: I need to be stronger. I need to be tougher. I am not strong or tough enough yet for my ‘perfect daydream world’ to manifest.
How do you be stronger? Have you heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals? what specifically can you do within a designated timeframe to be stronger? tougher?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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resilient

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I saw this quote online today that relates well to this thread:

What are YOU willing to do and sacrifice to have the life of your dreams?

Remember - people fail not because they aim too high and miss, but they fail because they aim too low and hit their mark. #realtalk
​
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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How do you be stronger? Have you heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals? what specifically can you do within a designated timeframe to be stronger? tougher?
Just be. There is no ‘doing’. You either are or aren’t. There is no try.
 
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