What is Your Stance on Getting into Committed Relationships with Single Moms?

[TheKid]

Single moms are losers.
If you hang around losers you are a loser.
If you have kids yourself its diffrent as i think ppl with kids should ONLY date ppl with kids.

 

[Travel memoir21]

One hot/cute Filipina mom just friend requested me this afternoon.

My birthday is this month, Im at an age where I’d consider it.

 

[Pandora]

Still #1 but that day will end eventually. At a certain age, the single moms are mentally healthier than the alternatives.

exactly bro lol. This is the depressing truth.

 

[Mazer]

Plate status, nothing more

 

[indiff]

Me personally I have no interest in them, I also don't judge unless the man claims to be an alpha with options and he goes from single mom to single mom (ie Corey Wayne). Then I'm like...WTF man?


I don't know man, I've realized it's better not to make generalizations like this because everyone is different and wants different things out of life. I have a player friend my age who's been dating a single mom an year older than him with a 12yrs old daughter for almost a year now. He says that he can really talk and connect with her, unlike the other girls he's been with. Who am I to judge him and say >man, you're a fool, you gotta get yourself a 23yrs old virgin<, just because that's my preference?

I discovered the same about Donovan Sharpe too

 

[Divorced w 3]

You are underestimating the demand for childless 30 somethings and even 30 something single moms. Male thirst is at epidemic and pandemic levels.

I don’t think I am. Speaking for myself, I don’t see the single 30’s holding too firm. I’m in the trading business and there’s a universal truth in auction markets (buyers vs sellers)… you can offer whatever prices you want but you don’t print a sale until some agrees to buy. You can be a thirsty, various aged / economic situated male but that doesn’t mean you’re necessarily bringing what she needs to the table. The 30’s that I have talked to, current excluded, have been pretty available. Admittedly not scientific whatsoever.

 

[SW15]

Single moms are losers.
If you hang around losers you are a loser.
If you have kids yourself its diffrent as i think ppl with kids should ONLY date ppl with kids.

A lot of single moms are losers. They made bad decisions on the person to marry when they had a lot of options.

It's a bigger problem when childless men end up with single moms of children under 18. There are childless men thirsty enough to make that a reality. Also, there are plenty of single dads who end up with single moms. I understand that arrangement more than the childless man-single mom arrangement. Single dads have more baggage than childless men so they often have to take on a single mom. There are some odd relational dynamics that exist when single dads and single moms commit to a long term relationship. The children from the prior relationship don't like the new partner or the new partner's kids.

A more common relationship now are age 50+ couples with both sets of partners having adult children. The two sets of adult children don't like their parents' new arrangement much either. Most act tolerant of it to some degree for the sake of keeping family peace but don't like it.

You are underestimating the demand for childless 30 somethings and even 30 something single moms. Male thirst is at epidemic and pandemic levels.

But who's actually getting into marriage with those single moms? Have you seen those guys? Most men don't have anything going on for them, so the guys getting into that they have even less things going on for them, total life losers.

My "gf" she's a single mom, I allowed myself to be called a bf until I don't get what I want, excitement, parties, travelling, her paying for stuff, experiencing 3somes (not yet but she's open to it and says thing like that when we're having secs), I never stopped approaching other women, not the most loyal thing to do, but commitment is just a word, like women branch swing, men should do the same without guilt, and besides, women prefer to share a high value guy than settling for a loser like Rollo says, until some point.

To me I think if a guy have a clear understanding that the relationship will never be as good as with a childless woman, that he shouldn't get married, never get her pregnant, that she's for having fun only, that there should be a clear separation between her kids and you, that if she's treating you like a king while he's trying to get other women, where is the downside of that? When he's ready to have a family he simply drops her and focus on finding a woman without children.

I don't think it is solely loser males who get into committed relationships with single moms.

You are in some quasi relationship with a single mom. It's more than plate status. Men don't take plates on vacations to Puerto Rico from the United States.

Are you making plans to drop her and spend more effort on childless women? You're 33, so a childless woman 25-32 is a realistic prospect for you.

I think plenty of decent, normie tier men end up in relationships with single moms. Some are single fathers themselves but there are childless men who get into relationships with them.

You are underestimating the demand for childless 30 somethings and even 30 something single moms. Male thirst is at epidemic and pandemic levels.

I don’t think I am. Speaking for myself, I don’t see the single 30’s holding too firm. I’m in the trading business and there’s a universal truth in auction markets (buyers vs sellers)… you can offer whatever prices you want but you don’t print a sale until some agrees to buy. You can be a thirsty, various aged / economic situated male but that doesn’t mean you’re necessarily bringing what she needs to the table. The 30’s that I have talked to, current excluded, have been pretty available. Admittedly not scientific whatsoever.

Wanting Monogamy as 1,946 Men Await My Swipe (Published 2017)

They met on Bumble and fell into a fun, one-night-a-week, nonexclusive routine — until she realized she liked him.

www.nytimes.com

While I think this was a childless woman with 1,946 swipes in her queue, I don't think it's unrealistic for a single mom to have 700-1,000 pending swipes.

If a single mom gets on a swipe app and has 700-1,000 pending swipes, there will still be enough men in that group who will commit to her for an extended period.

Female abundance is unreal.

There are a large percentage of men who are completely sexless. Some of these sexless men would take a single mom as an relationship option.

 

[Dr.Suave]

A lot of single moms are losers. They made bad decisions on the person to marry when they had a lot of options.

It's a bigger problem when childless men end up with single moms of children under 18. There are childless men thirsty enough to make that a reality.

Not all of them, but a lot of them. I just have to agree. I like your views on this.

 

[catsmeow2]

A lot of single moms are losers. They made bad decisions on the person to marry when they had a lot of options.

The bolded suggests it's not about being a "single mom" per se, but rather about being a "divorced woman" having made a poor choice in whom she chose to marry.

The same could be said for divorced men as well, so it's not gender related although my dad divorced my mom and was a great man, definitely NOT a loser and he chose wisely the second time round.

But you are 100% correct, he made a poor choice in marrying my mom although if he hadn't, I wouldn't be here so am grateful for that..

That said, what sometimes gets forgotten is that shyt can happen later down the road in any marriage, couples grow apart, communication breaks down, etc, but generally speaking in many cases, you would be correct, I agree with you.

A widow (with or without children) would not figure in this scenario as they made the best choice but her husband died through no fault of her own.

Unless of course she killed him which goes without saying you would NOT want to date or LTR such woman ! Lol

 

[alvinkels]

Mum was a single fortunately I didn't grow up like others but I certainly know the effect it had. My mum married earlier I was like 6 years but I swear I will never deal with an single no matter what. If we are friends I can be a good uncle to the kids because their innocent but I will never deal with a single mum no matter what her got her into it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The same could be said for divorced men as well, so it's not gender related although my dad divorced my mom and was a great man, definitely NOT a loser and he chose wisely the second time round.

Not the same. When a woman chooses a poor mate she completely ruins her life and it’s not salvageable. Men can always start over after a failed marriage.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Not the same. When a woman chooses a poor mate she completely ruins her life and it’s not salvageable. Men can always start over after a failed marriage.

When a woman *has kids* with someone and loses the relationship it’s not salvageable. If there is a childless divorce it’s not anything to worry about.

 

[EyeBRollin]

When a woman *has kids* with someone and loses the relationship it’s not salvageable. If there is a childless divorce it’s not anything to worry about.

True, though even in the case of no kids she still loses that valuable time. Let’s say she was married for only one year. She loses the 2 years prior to the marriage, the 1 year in marriage, 1 year finalizing the divorce, 1 year “healing” from the marriage, then another 1 year going through her “single” hve phase. That’s minimum 6 years right there…

 

[catsmeow2]

@EyeBRollin
She doesn't "lose" if she learned something valuable from it no matter how long it lasted.

My belief albeit not a very popular one round here, which is fine and I accept even though I disagree.

Personally, I take away something valuable from all my experiences, positive and negative.

It would also depend on how resilient she is and mentally/emotionally stable in general.

Again jmo, speaking from personal experience when LTRs have ended and wouldn't imagine it would be any different if lord forbid my marriage ended for whatever reason.

I'm about as resilient as they come and this has been time tested many times. I don't think I'm alone in that either.

And it can be the same for men, I know men including one of my brothers who became completely destroyed after his college relationship ended. She dumped him.

After many years, he is still unable to maintain a LTR with any woman, he is 100% commitment averse, unable to bond.

This has been said so many times, but life, love, relationships, human beings etc are never black and white.

"That which does not kill you makes you stronger." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[EyeBRollin]

@EyeBRollin
She doesn't "lose" if she learned something valuable from it no matter how long it lasted.

My belief albeit not a very popular one round here, which is fine and I accept even though I disagree.

Failed relationships are nothing but trauma for women. The fewer she has, the better off she is for a lifelong partnership with her husband. There are no moral victories here.

Men, avoid single mothers like the plague.

 

[Dr.Suave]

After many years, he is still unable to maintain a LTR with any woman, he is 100% commitment averse, unable to bond.

So basically she turned him into a plate spinner?

 

[catsmeow2]

So basically she turned him into a plate spinner?

He's not a plate spinner, he dates and tries to develop relationships but is unable to. Either the woman ends it due to his issues or HE runs.

And no "she" didn't make him this way, the failed relationship did, it was and still is his choice to not have acquired the internal strength to move forward from it.

HE realizes this too and has been in therapy several years attempting to sort it out.

 

[Divorced w 3]

True, though even in the case of no kids she still loses that valuable time. Let’s say she was married for only one year. She loses the 2 years prior to the marriage, the 1 year in marriage, 1 year finalizing the divorce, 1 year “healing” from the marriage, then another 1 year going through her “single” hve phase. That’s minimum 6 years right there…

True also. The timeline is maybe a bit longer in your view though. So the healing, divorce process are possibly wrapped into the same timeline. The dating can start sooner than a year although often not recommended.

I do agree though, generally, stay away from someone whose recently in the process of divorce, and if you must go out with them, find out what kind of work they’ve done on themselves, how long it’s been, and listen to see if any bitterness comes through about the ex which is a bad sign.

speaking for myself, I needed almost a year. I went out and had non committed sex though over the course of the process. I tried dating once in the summer and was called out immediately on it for the aforementioned.

 

[Divorced w 3]

@EyeBRollin
She doesn't "lose" if she learned something valuable from it no matter how long it lasted.

My belief albeit not a very popular one round here, which is fine and I accept even though I disagree.

Personally, I take away something valuable from all my experiences, positive and negative.

It would also depend on how resilient she is and mentally/emotionally stable in general.

Again jmo, speaking from personal experience when LTRs have ended and wouldn't imagine it would be any different if lord forbid my marriage ended for whatever reason.

I'm about as resilient as they come and this has been time tested many times. I don't think I'm alone in that either.

And it can be the same for men, I know men including one of my brothers who became completely destroyed after his college relationship ended. She dumped him.

After many years, he is still unable to maintain a LTR with any woman, he is 100% commitment averse, unable to bond.

This has been said so many times, but life, love, relationships, human beings etc are never black and white.

"That which does not kill you makes you stronger." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

When did you get divorced?

 

[catsmeow2]

When did you get divorced?

I'm not divorced. I posted I wouldn't imagine it would be any different (from ending a LTR) if my marriage ended.

I could be wrong of course since I have never actually been divorced however I am of the belief when a person is resilient, that resilience extends to all aspects of life, again jmo based on life experience.

But you're right, I couldn't say this with absolutely certainty since I have never experienced divorce but I do agree with what you posted earlier.

If there is a childless divorce it’s not anything to worry about.

More or less again when someone (man or woman) is resilient.