You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Actually, there are strengths in each of the 16 types that could be leveraged for attracting women. Of course specific types of women (personalities) are attracted to each type. This is why knowing which types work well together and qualifying the women is so important. Ever wonder why some guys keep ending up with the wrong type of woman?speakeasy said:
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Simply put, there aren't different personality types. There are only people who haven't exercised different parts of their brain. Computer programmers stick with INTx because it's their strength and think that's just how they are. But if they went out and had ESFx experiences, as their brain built links they'd find out that they enjoy it and understand it and can get lost in the process just as much.speakeasy said:
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Nice to knowspeakeasy said:
Whoever said that you had to be with a likeminded partner? You miss out on so many other opportunities. How many people do you know that would date a person just like themselves?speakeasy said:
That's why I said that guys need to know the types of women who are attracted to their specific personality type. If a guy has a high batting percentage going against right handed pitchers who primarily throw fast balls, why would he feel that he would have the same success with a southpaw who throws sliders?speakeasy said:
That's the drawback in putting a ton of weight on the premise of dating being a numbers game and using it against yourself.speakeasy said:
But they are some of the most logical and analytical people. I don't know this for a fact but I would guess that Ross Jefferies is an INTJ. Guess what, he used his strengths in analysis to come up with a method which works for him. Guy's need to understand their strengths and learn how to use them no matter their personality type.speakeasy said:
I'm right with you. I communicate more freely with more interaction with with self assured people. People who are less outgoing typically sit back and observe and I will usually need bring them into conversations and almost give them a platform to expound upon. With the self assured people they tend to bounce around as easily as I do without a need for any help.smooth guy said:
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Interesting you say this. As a strong INTJ, I always answer to myself and anyone that asks the question, "What do you look for most in a woman"; that intelligence is #1. By a long shot! I'd love banging a 7 that has an IQ of 140-150 over a 9-10 with an IQ of 90-100 any day of the week. Intelligence is sexy to me. If I can't communicate with them and them have at least the ability to understand what I'm doing, it almost feels like rape to me.speakeasy said:
I feel much the same way as you. A girl who is very smart will actually start to look better to me, as if I just put on some sort of beer goggles, or at least triggering that same part of my brain that alcohol does when it makes average women look better.azanon said:
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
It probably said a little more than just that.Luke!! said: