"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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What is Rapport?

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Mavrick

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Well, you have to have a genuine interest in what's important the other person. When you have a conversation with them, you talk about what's important to them. You interject your own views and opinions, but you don't dissuade them from their own. When you have a conversation you talk about them. People love to talk about themselves, and when you talk about them, they start to think you're a pretty smart fellar...

When you talk about yourself, people don't think you're so smart or interesting. More is less in this case. The less information you give about yourself makes you more interesting.
 

Groovy

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My honest answer:

No one knows! If you only try the things you read in this forums, you won't ever discover anything new!

If you want, take "good" (Who defines good?) advice, but modify it, and make it your own idea. Or twist it, and do the opposite of what is "normal".

Just forget on "building rapport" and try something! But do it with your heart. What are you thinking in? What will make this fun? Do that. Is it crazy? Well, all good ideas sound crazy in the beggining. :D

There is no specific formula for this, as there is no formula on "How to compose good music...". How do you do it? Certinally, there are some principles, there are things that are bad and you shouldn't do, but you still aren't ment to write it following strict patterns! Do it by your ear! You'll learn as you play the instrument.

For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them!

The key aspects are: Have plesure in everything! It's not science for you. No, you have more fun if you don't analyse it to death!

You're just exchanging words. Stop thinking of it like it's something you don't know already.

It also has to be natural! Since the beggining.

And the focus in not on building rapport. It's not on talking about others, it's not on seeking approval: It's in fun. Fun is always the ultimate focus.

If you follow all the rules, you end up loosing all the fun.

So experiment! :p
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MrNotebook

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...building rapport takes time. Its not something forced, but comes naturally without both parties even trying. Its happens as a result of "clicking" with someone over time. It happens when someone sees you worthy of getting to know you better because you have proven yourself worthwhile (the same rule applies vice versa).

Good rapport happens when we look out for the other person's interest and that person sees that.

Just like the saying goes..."people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."
 

Mr. Me

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Basically, rapport is a comfort zone feeling that you are associating with someone who's just like you. It's feeling affinity with the other person.

So, rapport building techniques have to do with mirroring body language and establishing agreement and consensus, signaling you're both on the same page. There are books about establishing rapport you can read at the library.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Rapport = an UNCONSCIOUS feeling that the person you are with is just like your. The same way you'd feel with an old friend, or with some guy you bump into while dog sledding across the north pole that goes to your same school and belongs to sosuave. Or even what your dog feels when you suddenly come home unexpectedly.

How to GET rapport? lots of ways. some tricky, some sneaky, some easy (genuinely BE the other persons friend and CARE about them), some wierd and esoteric. If you google rapport PLUS NLP you'll get all kinds of good information.

general rule: No rapport = No sex
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Rapport is just mutual understanding that people share. It's nothing more than basic small talk or chit chat showing a mutual respect. Rapport doesn't necessarily equate to interest even though it could lead to an full conversation.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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