What is Atom Smasher Going to Do?

[Atom Smasher]

Of course... with an occasional "Atom Smasher wants you to know about his particle accelerator".

 

[backbreaker]

Well, I sent her a follow-up text and heard back from her. I wish I could tell you specifics but I really need to be careful about this Google thing I hear so much about. As a show-biz guy I need to protect my identity pretty carefully. There is so much more cool stuff to tell, but alas I'd best be careful.

I texted her a short, humorous reference to our night, and she replied back saying it was a delight (among other good things) and that "we need to talk soon about our next get-together".

Mission accomplished. I provided her with a fun evening out of her horrifically boring life (most women fight boredom most of the time). After letting her go that night I assumed the role of a text sniper and released a text shot that referenced her character. It was deadly, because it created a shock of emotion within her, something she has never heard before. Kill shot. Of course the expected "that means so much to me" came back to acknowledge the shot.

Radio silence for two days. Let the tension build in here. Let her tell her friends who listen in rapt attention to detail. She does the internal idealization in the relating of the story. Suddenly I'm prince charming with the social proof of her friends working for me, all while sitting at home whittling on the front porch.

She feels like a celebrity while telling the story and garnering the attention of her friends. All that is associated with me. The hamster runs and runs in its wheel as she talks herself into how cool I am. Tension mounts as she doesn't hear from me. She gets to partake of her chick crack, which is wondering and speculating whether I like her or not. Chicks love to do this for some reason. The rule of thumb is, if men hate it, women will love it.

Finally her phone gives off her little beep beep and she reaches for it, hoping it's me. A bit of a witty comment from me, and she expresses her relief and her desire to see me again.

Atom smasher says, "Yup, we definitely will" and gets back to his front porch whittling. In the meantime I will find a new fun thing for us to do.

All in a weekend's work. By planting verbal seeds while giving her emotional, physical experiences, those seeds are guaranteed to germinate and be harvested by her own doing. The emotion and physicality (dancing, amusement park, whatever) is the tilling of the soil, "upsetting" the protective, solid ground that is her normal protective mechanism. Once the soil is tilled, the verbal seeds are thrown in (positive suggestions about me, about us together, and to a lesser extent about her).

I simply call this, "influence", the male analog to female makeup. With all my talk of influence and text sniper shots, I do not lie in any way to them. I simply find good things and mention them. No lies.

Now, to find more plates to spin. Oneitis will not be entertained here in this household.

\

i was looking for the post reply button to tell you that you are developing a tad bit of oneitis before i got to your last sentenace. well done

 

[Trump]

C) Disappear for several days to allow her time to talk herself into craving and falling in love with me in my absense

This is the best all-around answer (and what I am doing). You have to gauge how long to wait by the temperament of the girl. The more secure the girl is, the more time to wait, up to 3 days. This particular girl requires 2 days. It will be enough time for her to start to feel a vague tension (anxiety) about whether I really did have a good time and whether I thought she was a good dancer or not. It makes her wonder if she measured up to my standards.

She has had time to relate the story to her friends and this serves to anchor the whole experience as her memory and relating of the narrative will automatically clean up and idealize it. The good becomes better and the hiccups get cast to the side.

The point I really wanted to drive home in all of this is that women do not fall in love with you while they are with you. They fall in love with you when you are apart, when she is talking to herself and processing the whole thing in her mind. This is where the seeds you planted are irrigated and harvested.

Never forget that it is always when a women is away from you that she cements in her infatuation and "love" for you. Therefore you need to use words and jokes that she will later internally process favorably.

All of life is a school. There is no arrival at a certain destination. The joy should come from the learning, from being in the game and correcting course as you go. This is called learning Mastery.

Remember that a woman's illusion is the putty and paint

Man I wish I had your confidence.

You really think a women has nothing else going on in life and is spending those days thinking how awesome you are, to tell her friends all about it? Either she has a lot of time on her hands or you actually are Gods gift.

She could have a boyfriend, she could have a husband, she could have 2 jobs, she could go vacation. For you to think she is obsessing about you for 2 days because she had a few hours fun....if she is you are the MAN.

I've bought girls expensive purses and they have the time of their life with me...they forget about it in 48 hours because another guy, richer and more handsome, comes along. Nothing I could have done better, just by chance she met him at the market and she forgets what an awesome awesome time she had with me.

I don't think girls fall in love because they had fun dancing a few hours, but I probably suck.

 

[betheman]

As a show-biz guy I need to protect my identity pretty carefully. There is so much more cool stuff to tell, but alas I'd best be careful.

now hang on a bit, this changes things considerably!
so you arent some avergae Joe in the street? celeb? minor or otherwise gives you so much more status and value, you could look like Quasimodo and she would still be hanging around waiting for you

 

[Atom Smasher]

Man I wish I had your confidence.

You really think a women has nothing else going on in life and is spending those days thinking how awesome you are, to tell her friends all about it? Either she has a lot of time on her hands or you actually are Gods gift.

She could have a boyfriend, she could have a husband, she could have 2 jobs, she could go vacation. For you to think she is obsessing about you for 2 days because she had a few hours fun....if she is you are the MAN.

I've bought girls expensive purses and they have the time of their life with me...they forget about it in 48 hours because another guy, richer and more handsome, comes along. Nothing I could have done better, just by chance she met him at the market and she forgets what an awesome awesome time she had with me.

I don't think girls fall in love because they had fun dancing a few hours, but I probably suck.

When you pull a girl out of her mundane, boring existence and penetrate her emotionally, you usually hook her. I have to remember though that I've been around this earth for a good amount of years and therefore sometimes forget that you younger guys can't possibly nuance these things like I can. When you get older you start to realize the incredible power of a single word or phrase delivered at a precise millisecond. When I was younger I wasn't even remotely possible for me to grasp these things. But you guys have a head start that I never had (by being here) so you will surpass me someday.

Also, I hate the club scene with a passion and avoid club girls like the plague. The girls I target aren't at the club dancing every weekend. They are living boring lives, just waiting for a knight to come riding by.

You are right, though... Girls today are so unbelievably capricious that they will branch swing in a heartbeat. I am vulnerable to even this girl doing it. That's why I'm not about to put a couple more 'plates' into rotation. This is mandatory for a man to do in these times.

 

[Atom Smasher]

now hang on a bit, this changes things considerably!
so you arent some avergae Joe in the street? celeb? minor or otherwise gives you so much more status and value, you could look like Quasimodo and she would still be hanging around waiting for you

That's a good observation and your point is well-taken, but strangely I have never gotten very much action from my show biz activities at all. I haven't been able to figure out why that is. I only get play from the ones who have never see me perform or who I've done a private performance for. It probably has to do with the niche market I'm in.

 

[zekko]

I only get play from the ones who have never see me perform or who I've done a private performance for.

The truth is out, Smasher is a male stripper!

By the way, a 22 year age difference is pretty good.
I'd congratulate you, but I honestly don't think that gap or even larger is that big of a deal as long as you're a high value guy.

Is it my imagination, or has your ego grown quite a bit in the last year or so, Smasher? Not that that's a bad thing necessarily.

 

[Atom Smasher]

LOL, yes, a male stripper. No one wants to see that, even though I'm in very good shape. The 6 pack is history though.

I think that kind of gap is up there enough to be a hurdle that needs to be overcome. I usually feel a little creepy when chatting up ultra-young girls (let's say 29 and under) and actually the idea of them liking a 55 year old creeps me out.

Yes, my ego has grown to monumental proportions. Thanks for noticing!

Actually I just write in these silly ways to amuse myself. I think everyone here has caught on that it's just a tongue-in-cheek personna in which to couch what may hopefully be some good material.

 

[cordoncordon]

So Atom, basically what you have written about and others have commented about for 3 pages now is this almighty revelation.....wait for it.....wait for it.....wait.......after first meeting or taking a girl out, wait 3 days before contacting her again to get her juices flowing! That is some brand new and super exciting stuff right there! Wait until the dating world gets a hold of this one....men ranging from PUA's to the most desperate of the foreveraloners will have women in the palms of their hands with this new method!


How did you think of it!??

Of course I kid. But the truth is, underneath all of your great prose and well written posts, you applied the most basic and simplest of dating techniques in this situation. The old "wait 3 days to call" technique. Of course like I said, you told the story much better than that.

Well done. Good luck. And keep us posted. Great stuff. Though I must admit, and this may be the cynical side to me, but part of me feels as though you went to all of this trouble talking about the simplest of techniques as a form of humble brag. That is, being 55 and getting with a women 20 years younger. So if so, and that all of this was the ultimate of humble brags?

Well done sir! Carry on.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Man I wish I had your confidence.

You really think a women has nothing else going on in life and is spending those days thinking how awesome you are, to tell her friends all about it? Either she has a lot of time on her hands or you actually are Gods gift.

Actually, the answer to this question is "yes."

I just moved out of a situation where I lived with a girl friend of mine who is a very successful financially (she makes almost $125,000 a year as a teacher trainer), yet she spends almost all her free time on the phone talking to her girlfriends (and/or me) about guys she's dating. The ones she talks about the most are the ones who take her out, then don't call her up right away after the date. If she hasn't heard from a guy in 2 days - just 2 DAYS - he's the only thing she can talk about. She's retelling the story of their date, how great it was, how she thought they had a connection, asking herself if she did something to turn him off, giving excuses for his lack of calling ("he said he had a busy job")...

At times, I'll remind her that she tends to not like the guys who are constantly calling/texting her after dates, and that this guy is just being smart by being patient. Even knowing this, she'll STILL continue to obsess about him until he finally calls her.

The reality of why this works is because, as nervous and self conscious as us guys can get about if a girl we like wants us as well, girls feel like that even MORE when they finally come across a guy they like. The fear of loss is greater for them because it can seem like forever before they find a guy they gel with, so when they do, they idea of him NOT being interested worries them. When you go NC for a few days, youDO become all they can think about because the #1 priority of most women is to find that one true love - and if they think it might be YOU, they can't think of anything else other than what they need to do to keep YOUR interest.

Real life example: the girl I'm seeing now, after our first month of dating she went to Taiwan for 3 weeks. Most guys would have been nervous and tried to write her every day or told the girl to text hime so he'd know she was thinking about him. That's actually the WORST thing I could have done, though - it would have shown insecurity, neediness, and that I didn't have a life outside of her. Instead, I said "have a nice trip" and planned not to talk to her for 3 weeks. I just assumed if she liked me before the trip that she'd still like me afterwards, regadless of how long she was gone for.

Well, it turns out that if you're not hitting a girl up when she's away from you, SHE will actually reach out to YOU. She ended up sending me quite a few emails while in Taiwan (as well as pictures), and at one point even managed to find an out-of-the-way phone booth to try and call me (but I was too busy to pick up the call... because I actually STAY busy). When she finally got back, she was even MORE happy to see me, and had even gotten me some nice souveineers.

BTW, its not about being handsome or richer - its about being confident in yourself, regadless of your life situation. At one point I was sleeping on a stranger's couch with no car while working at a sandwich shop, and I was STILL able to land hot girls with better jobs and living situations (who were more than willing to drive us on our dates). You don't have to buy them expensive stufff to get them to like you, you just have to make them emotionally feel better than everyone else is making them feel. Some of the best lays I've pulled off happened after taking a girl on a coffee shop date; meanwhile, I've taken girls to Cheescake Factory and got nothing, simply because they weren't interested.

So yeah... anyway, I figured (c) was the correct answer, 'cause I do it all tne time; for those of you who aren't giving a girl a few days between dates to NOT hear from you, it's probably the reason she's getting bored with you so quickly. Take her out, show her a good time, then leave her alone for a few days while the vibes from the good date set in and raise her interest for you. (And yes, that means NO TEXTING during that time as well - what are you trying to do, KILL the relationship?!)

Hope this helps!

 

[cordoncordon]

Ummmm....I was complimenting you and what you wrote. You for whatever reason took it as a personal attack on yourself and come back and attack me?

Alrighty then.

Merry Christmas.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Cordon,

I re-read your post and I think I see the way you meant it now. It can easily be interpreted as mocking, and that's what I thought you were doing.

I apologize, and I took down my reply. I didn't read it the way you meant it.

Atom

 

[betheman]

I have to say this 3 day thing baffles me slightly. if a woman isnt really into you, it will be exit stage left regardless of any wait. if she really is into you she will wait, but 2- 3 days? give her time to fall in love with you? I get that to a degree, it creates a bit of uncertainty in her, a little anxiety.
Women do criticise themsleves more harshly than we as men do, and if she really is into you, she will be poring over every miniscule flaw in herself she can find, there will be many.

I think part of my issue is a personal one...I couldnt give a sh!t if she falls heavily for me or not. I never want to get married again, got the kids and grandkids.
I wonder though that a lot of younger guys will be following this rule of 3 days as an absolute, and then wonder why it failed when in fact she wasnt that interested in the first place, and that is the key, being able to accurately assess that point.
Good luck Smasher, although from the way you describe things, you wont need much luck

 

[cordoncordon]

Cordon,

I re-read your post and I think I see the way you meant it now. It can easily be interpreted as mocking, and that's what I thought you were doing.

I apologize, and I took down my reply. I didn't read it the way you meant it.

Atom

No problem. And it was for sure not mocking. A little kidding around, but 100% complimentary.

Good luck.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Thanks man. It's appreciated!

This is a good illustration, actually, of the dangers of texting. With no body language and vocal inflection to go by, text can so easily be misinterpreted to mean the complete opposite of what you're saying. That's why I always say that texting is playing with fire.

Look how two men of integrity handle it. His reply to me was restrained although it conveyed what he needed to convey. My response was to re-read and reframe the post into what he actually meant, and to trust that this was so. I then knew an apology was in order and took an action to rectify the situation. His reply indicated friendship and a mutual understanding that we had a misunderstanding and assigned it to "water under the bridge". That's integrity.

You're not going to get that with women! Once the genie is out of the bottle (a sent text) and her emotion is triggered, she'll make you dance like you've never danced before and she still won't let it go. So now you still have her angry/hurt and you've humiliated yourself by dancing the dance. Hence, I say respect the Text as you would a finely crafted two-edged sword. Once that send button is hit, the warhead will deploy according to her understanding, not yours. Hence every text with a woman should have intent behind it. Over-caution? I think not. We see lots of posts here from guys who have screwed up texting with women and damage control is very difficult in these situations.

Anyway, cordoncordon, I hereby buy you a virtual beer and wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Atom

 

[Trump]

BTW, its not about being handsome or richer - its about being confident in yourself, regadless of your life situation. At one point I was sleeping on a stranger's couch with no car while working at a sandwich shop, and I was STILL able to land hot girls with better jobs and living situations (who were more than willing to drive us on our dates). You don't have to buy them expensive stufff to get them to like you, you just have to make them emotionally feel better than everyone else is making them feel. Some of the best lays I've pulled off happened after taking a girl on a coffee shop date; meanwhile, I've taken girls to Cheescake Factory and got nothing, simply because they weren't interested.

Hope this helps!

Harry my man your whole argument falls apart right there "simply because they weren't interested."

If you are confident or not confident, or to get to them emotionally however you are able to, if they interested whatever you do doesn't matter.

The lesson should be "Just try to get them interested and you can do no wrong."

 

[zinc4]

Last night I took a beautiful 33 year old to a Christmas party. She hinted at dancing in a very indirect way (said she is a terrible dancer) to which I of course said "So am I. Let's just go up there to the dance floor and flop around like flounders on a boat. Who cares what we look like? We're here to have fun!"

She was all like "Really? Should we?" and of course I said, "Of course, come on let's go" and led her to the floor. I made sure it was a slow dance at first in order to get her comfortable and in order to feel that body against mine. I like either very tall girls or very short, not so much the in-betweens. She's verytall (with heels on, almost the same height as me, 6') and that bady felt fine. Super-long hair, too. Sweet.

Then the fast music started and we danced all night, doing all sorts of crazy moves, making stuff up as we went, crazy twirls, dips, clapping our hands together, just pure fun. We worked up quite a sweat.

As usual I would like to tell you more about some special circumstances (good ones), and the brief, specially designed text I sent her when she got home, but can't in order to protect my anomynity. I'll post a tip about texts like this very soon. For now, remember that texting, especially post-date texting, is a killer. Fortunately I know how to handle such deadly weapons as texting, because I'm a sniper and not a duck hunter.

Now, kids, it's time for your quiz. What is Atom Smasher going to do?

A) Text her today and tell her what great time I had
B) Call her and tell her she's a great dancer and we should do this more often
C) Disappear for several days to allow her time to talk herself into craving and falling in love with me in my absense
D) Invite her out to another get-together immediately in order to keep up the momentum and lock her in

FWIW, I'm not looking for quick lays, so that is not my motivation and intent. I've had enough of those in my day. I'm looking for a more meaningful relationship at this stage.

The winner(s) will gain my respect, and the losers will be taught a valuable lesson.

D

I wouldn't tell her she is a good dancer because in actuality she probably isn't.....if you believe that she really likes you then ask her out again...case closed...

edit: i just read through the entire thread and saw what you did...do you live in hollywood? my brother is out there trying to make it big as well

 

[Atom Smasher]

No, I'm a musician in the NYC area.

 

[SteR]

No, I'm a musician in the NYC area.

How famous are you though? Are you famous enough that when you walk down the street you're constantly recognised?

I'd be quite interested to hear how this affects your game... because you'll be playing on a whole different level.

 

[Atom Smasher]

No. You have to have seen me play at a venue or on local cable in order to know who I am. I get asked for my autograph about 10 times a year, usually when I'm out and about at festivals, parties and such. It's usually a mom/daughter team that asks me, but not always. There is a niche market spreading a little into the midwest who know me because of recordings, guest appearances in bands and occasional TV appearances.

I don't know why, but I haven't found that my minor celebrity helps my game at all. I suspect that it's the intensity in my personality that you guys see in my writings. I suspect that I'm kind of intimidating but in a subtle way. I can't understand it, because I certainly know how to make the guitar, and hence the ladies, cry. It might be that I'm blind to the attraction, too. I have seen glimpses of that before.

But the bottom line is that I seem to do much better with those who haven't seen me perform. I will say, though, that when I give a private performance, a girl is pretty much locked in. I think I have blind spots concerning my performances and the attraction or lack thereof. Makes no sense, I know.

Edit: My last BPD was with me going to antique stores along a riverfront when two ladies asked me for my autograph. She had definite stars in her eyes after that because of the off the charts social proof. It impressed her greatly. Later, she would go ballistic on this and that and bring up how I'm always going after other women (because of that autograph). Pretty funny.