what is a "creep"?

[ArtVandelay]

If a girl calls you a creep or creeper, it simply means that she finds you physically unattractive and your advances aren't welcome.

 

[ketostix]

Again, sometimes they're actually the weird or quirky one. To a stuck-up, sheltered, bible-thumping, daddy's girl, I'll always be a creep in her mind.

Usually's too strong a word, IMO. "creep" is misused by the accuser approximately half the time in my estimation.

No I agree totally, that's why the person reaches for a one-size-fits-all word like "creep". People like those girls have two modes of thinking about a guy she's not interested in, he's either a "creep" or a neutered nice guy. As long as you're not a creep to all the people all the time, just being a creep to some of the people all the time is about par for the course .

 

[wannabesuave]

Let me ask you this, are you always introverted/shy/quiet or just in large groups? Do you act the same around your close friends or family?

What was your horrible experiance that made you feel like a creep?

No, you're right, I'm not as introverted/shy/quiet when with family or close friends. But just about any other time I am...

I just posted a brief account of the horrible experience that made me feel like a creep - see my thread "hot babe of the office"

I've been pretty much a loner since pre-school - why?

One, I was born hard-of-hearing. Damn hard to have confidence when you can't even follow a conversation happening 2 feet away from you. What? Excuse me? Could you repeat that, please? You can only ask that once or twice, and then it's all over.

Two, from what I've read in the book "The Introvert Advantage", I'd have to agree that I've always been an introvert - socializing pretty much takes energy out of me, whereas extroverts (75% of the population) gain energy from socializing. Also, on the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (personality test), I test pretty much at the far end of the introversion-extroversion scale.

I'm feeling pretty hopeless lately.

 

[wannabesuave]

ive been called a creep or weird. but then ive been called ****y and arrogant. so i got both ends of the spectrum. to me when i go out i will only talk to someone if im in the mood. if i dont it means im tired, bored and just dont care about the person and dont like putting in the effort.

Exactly - I'm the same way. And I think a lot of people perceive me as arrogant, aloof, unfriendly, etc. Hey, I'm an introvert, that's all. It takes a lot of energy for me to talk to someone, all the more so because I'm hard-of-hearing and have to focus on their face/lips in order to "lip-read" and really try to fill in the blanks (words I miss) in order to understand the person w/out constantly asking "what was that?"

 

[wannabesuave]

The accusation most DJs should get from time-to-time is a$$hole. In fact, I'd go so far as to say if you've never been called that at least once or twice, you're probably still too much of a "nice guy".

Haha - I hear you.

In a way I'm glad this girl is mad at me and a bunch of her friends seem mad at me - it's in an office, so nobody has called me jerk or creep or ******* to my face, but I can tell that's what they're thinking.

And you know what? At least they don't think I'm a "nice guy"! This way I can at least tell myself "well, maybe she really was interested in me, and the flirting was real, but when I responded to it she freaked out because she's supposed to be loyal to her fiance, so maybe she's actually just torn and mad at herself and projecting that onto me, and maybe her friends are mad at me for tempting her and endangering her relationship".

Who knows? Maybe that's the truth of it. I don't know how else to explain those seductive smiles she kept giving me, coupled with the anger and indignation when I responded by expressing interest in her.

 

[wannabesuave]

What being a creep essentially means is someone doesn't like/understand you and it's their contention you should not be a sexual creature. Why they don't like you usually centers around you being quiet and not friendly and personable to them. The fact that "creep" means a hundred different things and it's not universally clear is just evidence that it really isn't based upon anything of substance.

Now, THAT is a very interesting definition. That's exactly how that girl made me feel with the expression on her face.... "you should not be a sexual creature". Or maybe just "I'm shocked that you are interested in me".

 

[wannabesuave]

how can you have fun when you dont get called freak or weird or stupid at least twice a day?

Haha - good attitude. But my case is more serious than that - nobody actually called me anything - but they made me feel like a creep by the way they looked at me. I felt it in my heart for months....it seriously hurt.

An entirely different scenario than the fun situation you describe.

 

[wannabesuave]

As long as you're not a creep to all the people all the time, just being a creep to some of the people all the time is about par for the course .

Thanks man - that will be very helpful for me to keep in mind.

 

[DJVladdy]

Unusual experience here:

I'm walking with my mom along a road to the hotel, and its dark. A guy walking behind us walks faster, and then walks ahead of us. She said wow, this guy is really creepy, I would be scared if I was walking here alone!

...Now I remembered this site, and I asked her what made him creepy and scary. She says how she noticed his sideways gaze, or shifty eyes, however u wanna call it. This freaked her out. We talk in Russian im translating here. Also he had a stiff, fast walk. She got the impression as if he was "up to something", or like was thinking to do something bad, but hiding it!

Yea, women pick up on this type of stuff. Instantly! The solution is simple: stop being a creep! and make sure your actions are in harmony with your thoughts and feelings.

It has nothing do to with being "ugly". or "having fun", okay. Women can tell if you are uncomfortable in your own skin... and being creepy means:
you are doing/saying something... but something ELSE is on your mind that you are HIDING.

 

[wannabesuave]

Wow....that's me! I walk stiff and fast, and I suppose I have the sideways gaze and/or shifty eyes too!

Stop being a creep? Heh... I've only recently realized I was being one. And am I "being one" or AM I one? Because I'm obviously not trying to be a creep. So is it even possible to change and not be one?

That guy could easily have been me. Maybe he passed you guys thinking "If I keep following these people on this dark street, they may become afraid, and I don't want that, so I'll pass them and put them at ease". I know I've had that thought many times in similar situations.

I guess I am "uncomfortable in my own skin" a lot of the time. Of course - I was born with and lived my whole life with an introverted temperament and a hearing problem. It's tough to be confident when you can't hear people easily, when you can't respond casually and confidently, when you've been excluded since pre-school, etc. You become afraid of people because of all the difficult and/or painful experiences you've had with them.

Actions in harmony with thoughts and feelings... I think this fits too... mine probably aren't. For instance, wheres a "natural" would just walk right up to a girl he's interested in and start chatting her up and making her laugh, I don't do that, because I can't (or at least don't know how, and I'm not yet convinced that it's really a learnable skill, although I want to believe it is, or I wouldn't be here). So instead, I'll probably keep my distance and look at her, hoping she'll notice me and smile, or something like that. THEN I might approach her.

Augh. I'm a creep. I can't ****in' believe this. My life just gets worse and worse.

Hey - a question - you're Russian? And did this incident take place in Russia? Was the "creep" a "caucasian"?

 

[MascaraSnake]

A creep is a guy who is uncomfortable enough in his own skin to the point where he gives everyone around him the heebie jeebies.

I have Asperger's syndrome (I personally think it's overdiagnosed, but it's a 'social disability'), and back in high school I had tics like mad. Not knowing at all what was socially appropriate plus the tics made me look extremely shifty, and I had to make a hell of a lot of social mistakes before I found out what what was appropriate in public. I was often told to my face that I was really creepy and to be honest with you, I didn't think I could change it. There's a lot of unwritten social rules out there and they require lots of study.

I'm 20 right now. Since I left HS I've slowed down my jerky movements, killed my tics (it was hard) and started to become more comfortable in my own skin (all the way down to my walk...I had to even revamp that). I've lost about 35 pounds since last year and I'm still going. I now have my own distinct way of dressing which flatters the hell out of me and gets a lot of compliments.

Dating I eased into slowly but surely (started to approach people online to sharpen my conversation skills), and I've almost mastered the cold approach now. Last month a girl I cold approached at a live show told me within a few minutes of talking to me that I came across as really confident and pleasant. A distinct improvement over what I got sophomore year, I can tell you that.

The next ten years are going to be soooooooooooo great, I can feel it.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

wannabesuave,

I identify with the melancholic type of tempermanent that you are born with, and it's just like we rather think than socialize. I identify fully with what you are saying when a natural goes up to a girl, chats her up, makes her laugh and sort of makes an instant connection and you feel blown out of the water when this happens as it feels you cant make a connection to save your life.

I hope you find what you are looking for because it seems like being extrovert would be going against the innate tempermanet and would feel inauthentic, so it's a toughie.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Dating I eased into slowly but surely (started to approach people online to sharpen my conversation skills), and I've almost mastered the cold approach now. Last month a girl I cold approached at a live show told me within a few minutes of talking to me that I came across as really confident and pleasant. A distinct improvement over what I got sophomore year, I can tell you that.

Congratulations. I think this is a true inspiring success story. If you had Aspergers syndrom and are able to make cold approaches and have conversations -- wow - that's all I can say -- you got out of the psychological jail.

 

[Faded Image]

Funny I dug up this article by a guy realizing that he too is an introvert.

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

Some guys here need to read this.

 

[MascaraSnake]

Congratulations. I think this is a true inspiring success story. If you had Aspergers syndrom and are able to make cold approaches and have conversations -- wow - that's all I can say -- you got out of the psychological jail.

The only thing I still have trouble with is eye contact...it's a really hard thing to master and I still need tips on it from time to time.

Besides that though, I can carry on conversations for hours upon hours if I feel the need. Before I figured out that you have cut short pre-date phone conversations, I talked to one girl I met offline for TWO HOURS on my first try. Not kidding.

Nothing came of it, but all I can say is that when I started to develop a good sense of taste (music, for example, is a subject people can talk about for hours on end), conversations were very easy for me.