Skydiver43127
Senior Don Juan
An approach just now started me thinking.
In the bus a hot girl sat next to me. There was no natural topic to talk to her about and I did not feel like manufacturing one ("Oh, what a nice purse!", "Hey, what do you think about gay marriage" and such), so I just let it be.
Then I started listening radio on my phone and she started looking at it a lot. I also noticed she actually had a better one than me and started a conversation about that. (I was genuinely interested what's so interesting about my phone)
Later when I moved the conversation to her personally I felt she became more defensive. She was still cheerful, but the vibe became colder. I figured there is a low chance for number-closing, so I let it be and didn't try at all.
Now, according to the theory I should have manufactured a topic instead of waiting for the slim chance of a natural one appearing. (when you have a real common interest it's not really a cold approach for me) I should have also tried to number-close regardless of chance. But it did not feel natural. It has nothing to do with rejection, it's just social programming I'm hesitant to throw away. From my point of view you can always reframe yourself, but if you go too far you can become incompatible with society in general. I know some wannabe PUAs who have done this and it's not a pretty sight.
What's your take on this? Do you draw a line in cold approaching and where is it? And regardless of the answer, why do you think you are doing that?
In the bus a hot girl sat next to me. There was no natural topic to talk to her about and I did not feel like manufacturing one ("Oh, what a nice purse!", "Hey, what do you think about gay marriage" and such), so I just let it be.
Then I started listening radio on my phone and she started looking at it a lot. I also noticed she actually had a better one than me and started a conversation about that. (I was genuinely interested what's so interesting about my phone)
Later when I moved the conversation to her personally I felt she became more defensive. She was still cheerful, but the vibe became colder. I figured there is a low chance for number-closing, so I let it be and didn't try at all.
Now, according to the theory I should have manufactured a topic instead of waiting for the slim chance of a natural one appearing. (when you have a real common interest it's not really a cold approach for me) I should have also tried to number-close regardless of chance. But it did not feel natural. It has nothing to do with rejection, it's just social programming I'm hesitant to throw away. From my point of view you can always reframe yourself, but if you go too far you can become incompatible with society in general. I know some wannabe PUAs who have done this and it's not a pretty sight.
What's your take on this? Do you draw a line in cold approaching and where is it? And regardless of the answer, why do you think you are doing that?