What is a cold approach for you? Do you do it?

[Skydiver43127]

An approach just now started me thinking.

In the bus a hot girl sat next to me. There was no natural topic to talk to her about and I did not feel like manufacturing one ("Oh, what a nice purse!", "Hey, what do you think about gay marriage" and such), so I just let it be.

Then I started listening radio on my phone and she started looking at it a lot. I also noticed she actually had a better one than me and started a conversation about that. (I was genuinely interested what's so interesting about my phone)

Later when I moved the conversation to her personally I felt she became more defensive. She was still cheerful, but the vibe became colder. I figured there is a low chance for number-closing, so I let it be and didn't try at all.

Now, according to the theory I should have manufactured a topic instead of waiting for the slim chance of a natural one appearing. (when you have a real common interest it's not really a cold approach for me) I should have also tried to number-close regardless of chance. But it did not feel natural. It has nothing to do with rejection, it's just social programming I'm hesitant to throw away. From my point of view you can always reframe yourself, but if you go too far you can become incompatible with society in general. I know some wannabe PUAs who have done this and it's not a pretty sight.

What's your take on this? Do you draw a line in cold approaching and where is it? And regardless of the answer, why do you think you are doing that?

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Hey dude, remember...throw society rules out of the windows. Why even care about whats "allowable" in society terms or not. For cold approaching, the only thin line is situations where its not a good idea(Going up to a girl with her boyfriend right there or situations where people are absolutely too busy to respond well to an approach) Other than that, thats the only line i would say.

Also remember, when she was more defensive...ur definitely doing fine...she's just not relaxed and prolly isn't use to talking about herself. Just show ur a relaxed, down to earth guy...who doesn't really judge her...and thus she'll be more relaxed. Its all it is. Its just a knee jerk reaction. Its like when girls are neutral when u go up to them...its more like, "They dont' know how to respond" That doesn't mean they're not interested, it just means u mine need to work a little bit harder for them to relax and to not hold back that interest.

If i were u, i'd definitely continue it. For u.

 

[WC2]

I love cold approaches. Whether you get shut down or not, you come out feeling better about yourself for doing something. You don't know these girls, so make a fool of yourself infront of them. Learn from them

 

[Stéphane]

Me: Hey, I got a question for you
Her: Sure
Me: What you doing later?
Her: (she gives the uh? look) then she says blah blah
Me: You want to come home with me?
Now you wait
and wait
and wait
and wait
Her: OMG!
Jumps on you, and kisses you.
or
slaps you
or
says no
or
says maybe
if she says maybe then you build rapport, and you try again
Me: So you want to come home with me.
Her: OMG. YES

 

[LostAndConfused]

Haha apocalypse close.

 

[Stéphane]

Yeah, i'm going to try that someday!! I did gunwitch, and it worked great

 

[Dongfu]

The Apoc Approach takes serious balls. I'll use it when the situation is right.

 

[The Bat]

I love cold approaches. Whether you get shut down or not, you come out feeling better about yourself for doing something. You don't know these girls, so make a fool of yourself infront of them. Learn from them

Gotta agree here 100%. Leave your ego at the door. You will always come out feeling better even if the girl slaps you and calls you the ugliest man she has ever seen. Give yourself a pat on the back because at least you had the balls to act instead of trying to convince yourself whether she's in your league or not.