I'm not talking about being shy or introvert. I'm talking about being legitimately socially retarded. What if the part of your brain that involves great skills with women is entirely messed up? Could Rain Man become a ladies man?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
What if you're a complete social retard?
- Thread starter Demystify
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
sageproduct
Banned
Seeing as this was pretty much my background, I'd say the first step is just to be nice to people. forget being a man or anything else, someone who completely lacks social skills just needs to be nice to people so that at the very least he can have some conversations with people. After acquiring at least some social intelligence, he can begin to develop game.
Yeah, but should I worry about the girl taking advantage of me or making me a doormat?Jhcl4000 said:Be nice, as in no attempts to flirt, tease, C&F, or any other DJ techniques, just try to converse.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I'm sort of mentally handicapped. I've been an extreme extrovert for the past 5 years but that hasn't caused me to stop being a social retard.Jhcl4000 said:Can I ask why you made this topic in the first place? Are you in some way ACTUALLY mentally handicapped, or are you just like a lot of the guys here and not great/comfortable with talking with random people?
I was asking about the nice thing because it seems like a bad idea. It seems that girls usually take advantage of the guys who are more socially retarded.
sageproduct
Banned
How are you an extreme extrovert and socially retarded?
everywomanshero
Master Don Juan
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Hard Q to answer as the only experience I have with this dates back to high school.
The guy I am thinking of was very outgoing, but definitely not fully developed mentally. He wasn't mentally retarded as in down's syndrome or something extreme, either. He pulled about as much ass as anyone I can think of back then and his pad was a regular hang out for the most desirable chicks despite probably never having thought about pulling ass or whether or not that mattered. Again, I don't know how this played out later in life but several principles may have been at work:
1) Social desirability: He was popular and his dad was fairly well known and respected. His house was considered where the "cool kids partied". You can see how this just sets the momentum in action.
2) Reciprocity: He was very friendly and outgoing, which increases the chances that people to respond in kind, especially when combined with #1. The behavior of the first few then serves as social proof for the herd.
3) Proximity: We're simply more likely to hookup with people we are around. By virtue of always being where the party for hotties was, proximity alone dictates that man will pull some ass.
How can a social retard benefit from these lessons?
1) Increase social desirability by looking the part of being a fairly hip guy (but not gay, somehow guys confuse these two), cultivating some interests in life besides women (something to talk about, something to be happy about), in essence you're creating your own halo effect by maximizing looks and putting your unique and interesting personality out there. 2) Reciprocity-staying in one's shell does not make one cool, it simply makes it likely others won't come out their shells either. Armed with this knowledge, one should know that if stage #1 was successful, then being warm and friendly will be returned in kind. This isn't about causality, there will always be some random nags, but it's about the odds. If this stage is a massive fail, go back to step #1 and work on making yourself happy, really happy with life. 3) Proximity--there are only so many women in Pigfarker, Montana. You will most likely hookup with people who are somewhere near you, unless you own a private jet and spend a ton of time online. Therefore, you want to have a certain concentration of hot women nearby and maximize your exposure to said women. Apartments, cities, classes, campuses, clubs, dances, what have you increase your proximity to hot chicks.
As you spend time on each of these three principles, you can expect your results to steadily increase. The interesting thing here is everything you're doing is part of a wholistic lifestyle improvement. The increases in social support, education, life experience, etc increase your confidence/self-concept which increases your desirability to women which feedbacks to even higher self concept. Compared to sitting around debating for hours whether or not you should've called her on the 3rd day or the 5th.....
The guy I am thinking of was very outgoing, but definitely not fully developed mentally. He wasn't mentally retarded as in down's syndrome or something extreme, either. He pulled about as much ass as anyone I can think of back then and his pad was a regular hang out for the most desirable chicks despite probably never having thought about pulling ass or whether or not that mattered. Again, I don't know how this played out later in life but several principles may have been at work:
1) Social desirability: He was popular and his dad was fairly well known and respected. His house was considered where the "cool kids partied". You can see how this just sets the momentum in action.
2) Reciprocity: He was very friendly and outgoing, which increases the chances that people to respond in kind, especially when combined with #1. The behavior of the first few then serves as social proof for the herd.
3) Proximity: We're simply more likely to hookup with people we are around. By virtue of always being where the party for hotties was, proximity alone dictates that man will pull some ass.
How can a social retard benefit from these lessons?
1) Increase social desirability by looking the part of being a fairly hip guy (but not gay, somehow guys confuse these two), cultivating some interests in life besides women (something to talk about, something to be happy about), in essence you're creating your own halo effect by maximizing looks and putting your unique and interesting personality out there. 2) Reciprocity-staying in one's shell does not make one cool, it simply makes it likely others won't come out their shells either. Armed with this knowledge, one should know that if stage #1 was successful, then being warm and friendly will be returned in kind. This isn't about causality, there will always be some random nags, but it's about the odds. If this stage is a massive fail, go back to step #1 and work on making yourself happy, really happy with life. 3) Proximity--there are only so many women in Pigfarker, Montana. You will most likely hookup with people who are somewhere near you, unless you own a private jet and spend a ton of time online. Therefore, you want to have a certain concentration of hot women nearby and maximize your exposure to said women. Apartments, cities, classes, campuses, clubs, dances, what have you increase your proximity to hot chicks.
As you spend time on each of these three principles, you can expect your results to steadily increase. The interesting thing here is everything you're doing is part of a wholistic lifestyle improvement. The increases in social support, education, life experience, etc increase your confidence/self-concept which increases your desirability to women which feedbacks to even higher self concept. Compared to sitting around debating for hours whether or not you should've called her on the 3rd day or the 5th.....
Just because you're an extrovert doesn't mean you have great social skills.sageproduct said:How are you an extreme extrovert and socially retarded?
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Blood Angel
Don Juan
Well, I have Asperger's Syndrome which is a bit like you describe. In short, it basically means that I don't naturally pick up on social stuff very easily. It's made the social aspect of my life difficult, but it's not impossible for me or anyone else with a similar issue to overcome. I probably won't ever become a pick-up artist that can over the period of a year lose track of how many chicks he bangs, but with work I can (and have) improved considerably. I guess it comes down to just how messed up the "social" part of the brain is. If it's completely fried and the person is irrecoverably Autistic or something, then there's probably not much hope. If the problem is less pronounced, than it can be overcome.Demystify said:Bump, anyone?
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
Socially retarded, what does that mean?
Is that when you don't know how to fit in and can't make friends? Women end up having zero interest in you.
Is that when you don't know how to fit in and can't make friends? Women end up having zero interest in you.
Think of Cosmo Kramer or Jeff Goldblum, they have no trouble going out and talking to people, but they're still incredibly off on a social levelMaxtro said:Socially retarded, what does that mean?
Is that when you don't know how to fit in and can't make friends? Women end up having zero interest in you.
I'm in the Mood
Master Don Juan
I don't believe that anyone has to be so called "socially retarded."
It's your choice whether or not you make an effort to increase your social circle and social skills.
For the most part, social skills determine how you handle interactions with other people. Your usage of voice tone, body language, etc.
Learn by watching other people, or reading up on some informative material, then PRACTICE what you've learned.
Keep in mind that self-confidence is very important when it comes to social skills.
Btw, when you're busting on someone or using sarcasm, you can sometimes get away with saying things that, said seriously, would be socially awkward.
It's your choice whether or not you make an effort to increase your social circle and social skills.
For the most part, social skills determine how you handle interactions with other people. Your usage of voice tone, body language, etc.
Learn by watching other people, or reading up on some informative material, then PRACTICE what you've learned.
Keep in mind that self-confidence is very important when it comes to social skills.
Btw, when you're busting on someone or using sarcasm, you can sometimes get away with saying things that, said seriously, would be socially awkward.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
First of all, DEFINE what socially-retarded mean? Does that mean you don't know how to be COOL around people? or does that mean you just have some mental problem and regularly take medication?
If you think socially retarded means not being able to be the MOST DOMINANT, CHARMING person among your social circle, well, I'd say you DON'T have to be one.
Just focus on improving your lifestyle. Take care of yourself. Hit the gym, complete your studies, join some evening class...just work on yourself.
And try to BE NORMAL, don't assume any fake personality...just be as you are. that will do.
Ron.
If you think socially retarded means not being able to be the MOST DOMINANT, CHARMING person among your social circle, well, I'd say you DON'T have to be one.
Just focus on improving your lifestyle. Take care of yourself. Hit the gym, complete your studies, join some evening class...just work on yourself.
And try to BE NORMAL, don't assume any fake personality...just be as you are. that will do.
Ron.