"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What I suck at

tmpgstx

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Some good points .. the big thing is not to put your heart on a sleeve too soon! You do this and you're coming off as needy or even desparate. Let things progress at a natural level, some ebb and flow. Give and take. It's a two way street, let her come back to you on some things too, don't feel you have to do everything to make a go of it.

For people that have had to do everything themselves, this is a hard concept to grasp.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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ScrewIt

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I think a lot of people (afc's) that come here eventually develop a form of indifference/detachment when they're going through the stages of change in reacting with women.

yes unfortunately you do have to maintain games to keep them on their toes. Give it all away...and they step all over you.

But as someone earlier said, it's a balance. Think of women as a guy. They have to earn your respect, trust and your time, thats how friendships build. Let the process slowly build, and slowly give them bites of the cake. Slowly begin to trust each other, be more open about problems (thats why couples always argue), and more intimate at times....etc.

Just think of it as a tree, needs water, sunshine, and good soil to grow. Try to take away or limit it's needs, and it will have trouble growing.
Exactly!

If you want something short term, playing games and not revealing yourself is the way to go.
if you want something Long term, you will have to reveal yourself in due time and maintain your game. if you dont, they will assume you arent serious about a relationship and they'll move on.

nuff said.
 

becker

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Originally posted by ScrewIt

If you want something short term, playing games and not revealing yourself is the way to go.
if you want something Long term, you will have to reveal yourself in due time and maintain your game. if you dont, they will assume you arent serious about a relationship and they'll move on.

nuff said.
Maybe it's the women I'm meeting, but it just seems that things go well until I open up, then it's done. Where the heck do you folks meet these women you're speaking of? I'm so freakin' jaded I wouldn't even know if one hit me, I'd just be totally suspicious and paranoid that she's totally playin'.
 

CLOONEY

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http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=74463

Read my advice on that. This is what you need to do to keep a girl interested in the long term.

Other than that, I will say this from my experience: If a girl is interested, she is very interested and you can pretty much do what you want (as long as you dont become a total puzzy). If a girl is not interested, no matter how many games you play, she wont be interested. Isnt it obvious? I am the same with woman, if I like her, I just like her and I have no idea why! Its just that I "click" with her. I have dated some absolute stunners, as close to 10 as they come, but they just do nothing for me (and they are real nice girls also)!

I think you are just going through a bad stage! I was lucky and found girls who were really intereseted in me to have LTRs with. Although the last two I have "clicked" with, have both not felt the same, and no matter what I did, or how many other hot woman they saw me with, they were just not THAT interested, only wanted to casually date me and would flake on occassions.

Just keep yourself out there and dont expect anything from any of the girls you meet. You will come by one when you least expect it, that is for sure!
 

becker

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CLOONEY, good words, thanks. I'd have to say that my biggest problem at the moment is the lack of motivation. I'm just not driven to meet too many women, and when I do meet one, I don't really feel like pursuing her because it's as though I'm just expecting the games to begin, and I'm just not into that. It's very difficult, because I now see myself as someone who just won't ever get into any LTR anymore. I used to at least entertain the thought, but now I'm just running in the opposite direction because I'm just jaded.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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