"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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What i learned tonight

Jokerlsk

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Tonight was my school's homecoming dance, I went to the game friday and had a good time with some friends. Anyways, I went with a group of about 12 people. 3 of my buddies had dates, and the rest of us went alone. Now this year, I've changed a lot. I've gotten a lot more popular, I've made a lot more friends, and I've just become more comfortable in myself, but tonight was a total set back. I just realized how much of an AFC i actually am. I'm just not a very sexual person, and it' just so blatantly obvious. I'm just so damn conservative. I'm a funny person, and that's about it, but even my close friends have told me that I use humor as a shield from things like that. I saw all these people dancing, and I was unable to do it myself. I'm just not comfortable with it, and I don't know why. I mean, these kids were grinding and stuff, and the first thing i thought was, "I can't do this." 3 girls wanted to dance with me, and I just couldn't do it. It's just not who I am. It's never been who i am. I'm ****y and funny, and that's about it. What really gets me is that I wanted to do it. I really did. I just was uncomfortable with it. The entire idea of it. I just feel so stupid for not getting out of my comfort zone.

Another thing that I think is really ironic is about what my mom said to me earlier today. I got into an argument with my mom earlier today, and she practically told me that even though I don't make mistakes and follow the rules, I end up not living life because I'm afraid to take chances. I was too stupid to not get a date to homecoming, i was too stupid to not dance with one of the 3 girls who actually asked me, and it's all because I don't know how to take chances. I get in my comfort zone where I know i'll do well, and I never leave it. People tell me that I'm brilliant, but I just can't solve the simplest problems, and it just kills me.

Yeah, I'm a lot better off than i was, but I've realized that I'm not where i want to be yet. Thanks for reading this.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Pierce

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Not that h ard to dance. Just stand up str8 and let them dance on u. follow the rhythm. not that hard and if you have trouble doing that just find a wall or some ****.
 

Jokerlsk

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The dancing part isn't hard for me. I don't know how to dance, but it's not a big deal to me. The fact that girls were all over me was overbearing for me. I was uncomfortable with it, and it really just pisses me off. I was brought up the traditional, southern gentlemen type way, and all of that goes against what i was taught. I'm just not used to seeing girls act that way, and I'm such an idiot because 3 girls practically begged me to dance with them.

I still have prom later on to redeem myself.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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JCballin88

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I'm guessing you're still in high school? Otherwise I would say...using a little "liquid encouragement" has done wonders for my apprehensiveness on the dance floor. But not if you're in high school still!

When I was your age I felt the same way - watching all those people dancing/grinding just felt really intimidating. My mom even used to say those same things about me. But you just have to jump in there and do it. I'm still not a HUGE fan of clubs and that type of atmosphere, but I'll go if I know some friends are going.

Just remember man - you'll feel more regret at the end of the day from watching on the sidelines than anything the dance floor could do to you if you just jump in!
 

Jokerlsk

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Yeah, i'm in highschool, and to be honest girls intimidate me.
Not that I can't talk to them, because i can. I love talking to people, and I make friends really easily. I'm friends with a bunch of girls, but that's all i ever let it be. I end it at friendship. It's like i'm afraid of sex, and the whole idea of a relationship. Last night made this clear to me. But you are right JC, I would have no regret if i had just made the most of the situation.
 
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