"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What happened?

FSUDON

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I'm absolutely clueless about what happened with this girl I had been dating. Just some background about myself, I've been coming faithfully to this site for close to two years now but have never posted. I used to be a partier and all about getting with all kinds of girls. But last year, I was born-again and so my perspective changed. In other words, I'm not looking for girls to bring home with me the 1st night, but I only look to date Christian girls who have some future potential. As you can imagine, this narrows the playing field quite a bit.
Well, I met this great girl about a month back, good looking, lots of fun, and a strong Christian. We met at a "hoe down" (Southern thing) andhad a great time. We both had a very high interest level for each other right from the beginning. (She let me know that I was in her sights for 4 weeks before I introduced myself to her, not even aware of who she was!) I was C+F and just keeping everything light. Invited her out to a semi-formal I needed a date for and she was more than willing to go. So, that was the friday before the disastrous Gators vs. Seminoles football game. On the Sunday after church, she comes out with my friends and I to eat and sits right next to me, pretty much resting her leg on mine and showing all the right signs. We leave for Thanksgiving break, have about 2 or 3 good phone convos. and then we go to the semi-formal and have a GREAT TIME! We end up watching a movie back at her place. I give her a massage and we talk. We ended up having a nice little kissing session which I had no intention of with this girl and everything seemed perfect. We plan to see a movie on Thursday, but that didn't work out because of our schedules and she ended up coming over my place. We laughed, shared some more intimate moments, and she went on her happy way. I thought the next time I would see her would be at her home for New Year's.
Well, I wait until Sunday night to call her, we begin having a casual conversation, then all of a sudden she starts this whole thing about not being emotionall ready for what was happening and that we were gonna be led into a relationship of sin, and that she had a bad feeling when she left my apartment. She said she saw a look in my eye that scared her or something. Well, of course I didn't understand and was hurt that she would just say a bunch of things she probably didn't mean, and then pull something like that. Well, I cooled off for a couple of days, called her back and let her know that I understood where she could be coming from and I had no problem slowing down and being friends. That's what you're supposed to be in a Christian relationship at the very beginning anyway and I had not taken control of the situation as I should have. Well, I talked with her, joked with, and kept up the C+F. Waited till Sunday to call her again, kept up with the C+F and keeping everything light. Then I told her she should give me a call sometime over vacation. She told me that she didn't feel comfortable calling guys, even her "guy friends". So whatever, we got off the phone. I gave her a call this past Sunday, which was a week since I'd last called her. She hasn't called me back. Could she be pissed that I waited a week? I didn't think it was possible for a girl with such a high interest level to just go frozen cold if you kept up with the C+F and being a challenge. Should I ever call her again, or just say next? It just does not make any sense to me.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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flexion_

Master Don Juan
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Sounds like she is trying to make drama ie. attention HO.

Red flags unfortunately.

I'd just back off and focus on other women and let her come to you. But beware she sounds like trouble and pain to me.
 

Craig Reeves

Master Don Juan
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Ahhh, it sounds like this girl is inexperienced in the ways of love. I don't know why she thought that you two were going to get into a "relationship of sin". I think that she was just using that as an excuse because she knows that she's got something about her that you're probably not going to like, and decided that since you two are getting closer she would make up the all so weak "I can't do this cause I'm Christian" thing.

Being a christian myself, there is nothing wrong with kissing a girl. No where in the bible does it say not to have a girlfriend.
 

dietzcoi

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Man, there are some serious head-cases out there.......

Dietzcoi
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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