southernteen
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2003
- Messages
- 23
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 39
When I was last on this site I hardly had any friends, the things I tried to learn from the site were not helping any. In fact, I was becoming something of a royal pain in the butt. It was at this time that I decided to quit visiting the site and vowed to return if I figured anything out. I’m back now. Anyway through the next year I was horribly depressed. I managed to drive most of my friends away and was feeling terribly sorry for myself. Then I began to become suicidal. I couldn’t pick up a knife without thinking about just ending all my pain. Then I began to go to church after one of my old friends invited me. I rebelled against the thought of a God and tried to explain him away but every time I tried the depression deepened. While continuing to go to church I began to try to reason things out and said things to myself like religions ok for them but I just want to have lots of fun and friends. Then after a church retreat deal and a weekend feeling utterly cut off from everyone around me I, got in my car and prayed for the first time in about 10 years. I immediately felt different, renewed, alive. These results began to wear off though after a few weeks. It wasn’t until a church camp a few months later that I realized why I wasn’t receiving the happiness God promises. I had been praying and reading my bible out of an attempt to use God to get the friends and girls that I wanted. It wasn’t until a church camp that I realized the error of my ways. I realized that you HAVE TO WANT TO OBEY GOD to get anything out of life. The center of my life up until that point had been myself. It wasn’t until I made God the center of my life and began to live my life the way he has commanded. Even though I’ve figured out how to be happy I am still learning. Every week sometimes more often God teaches me something through life’s trials. These days though I feel like I have a long way to go I have friends and am not scared of people. I realized how I no longer have to have a girlfriend that I can be content with what God has provided me. As I said I promised myself to return and share whatever I learned. Im back now and I urge you all to get into church if you haven’t already to begin to do what the bible commands you to do and the rest of your life will just fall into place. Because that’s the reason we are all here isn’t it? Our lifes have all felt out of joint as if something was wrong with us. We have felt like nobody wants to be with us. I hope at least some of you will heed my advice and since i know how confusing it can be for someone to tell you to just do something feel free to ask me any questions no matter how trivial
