You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
The other two guys gave excellent answers. For me though, it's a bit different at this point.oscarxp25 said:What gives you courage to move in on a girl when you are not certain she likes or is interested in you in that type of way? Hope?
You don't hit it off which makes you free to approach another woman, I can live with that!MisterNigma said:...Ask youself this question - What's the worst that can happen?...
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
oscarxp25 said:What gives you courage to move in on a girl when you are not certain she likes or is interested in you in that type of way? Hope?
Sounds more like a pessimist to me, to each his own...MisterNigma said:I was actually thinking more along the lines of getting into a fight w/boyfriend.
Then again, I'm a realist, not an optimist.
-E.Nigma
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Now why be so negative? Ok, so you got me, I'm a pessimistic realistFrancisco d'Anconia said:Sounds more like a pessimist to me, to each his own...
I ain't even gonna touch that one...MisterNigma said:...Ok, so you got me, I'm a pessimistic realist![]()
-E.Nigma
See, now that's a flawed statement. If you "din't want to touch" the subject you shouldn't have replied.Francisco d'Anconia said:I ain't even gonna touch that one...![]()
I think of myself as opinionated, thank you....MisterNigma said:See, now that's a flawed statement. If you "din't want to touch" the subject you shouldn't have replied.
You're a compulsive poster. I know, how it feels. There should really be a Poster's Anonymous.
-E.Nigma
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Whatever helps you sleep at night. I do expect to see you at the bext PA meeting though.:yes:Francisco d'Anconia said:I think of myself as opinionated, thank you....![]()