what game is she playing?

[MacAvoy]

I haven't seen my g/f since last Saturday. I made a choice to not call her, let her call me. I also decided to make myself less available. However she seems to have taken a play from the same page.

She never called till Thursday. We had a brief talk, I never offered to go visit. She said she had to work all weekend. I sent her a text message Friday while she was at work, it was a bit romantic, she replied with a kiss.

I finally broke down and called her today. She just walked in the door from work, we briefly talked and she said she would call me later after she ate etc...

Well its getting late and she hasn't returned my call. I refuse to ask if anything is wrong. Whenever I've asked her anything in the past, everything is always rosy.

So what do you think is going on? What move is she pulling?

 

[DJDamage]

What game is she playing? the game of low interest.

I believe it was RT who nicely said : The one who needs the other the least, has the more power in a relationship.

Now you know which side of the fence you stand on.

 

[joekerr31]

worst case scenario she's met another guy and has now begun the process of p*ssing you off so that you she can at some point tell you that she can't be in the relationship anymore because of your behavior.

best case scenario... hmmm.... hard to think of one but i guess it would be that she's playing some kind of power game to assert dominance.

 

[BrokenLeftWing]

It's over and she doesn't know how to end it. Plus she most likely is humping some other guy. Charge her to the game and move on.

 

[STR8UP]

The only thing you need to watch for to determine your course of action is a change in behavior. If she is breaking her pattern she is on the way out the door.

It SUCKS, but you know what to do.

 

[joekerr31]

i will say that it is quite dumbfounding the lack of moral conscience many women have in this scenario.

they will purposely drive you nuts just so they can walk away from you because of such behavior - creating the illusion that YOU are the problem and not THEM.

this scenario right here accounts ffor 80% of the bad will many men have towards women.

what might be funny to try is next time you are with her sit her down and tell her that based on her resent behavior you are very convinced that she is cheating, or at least her attention is now being spent elsewhere. as a result you think it best to end the relationship.

now, this is an extreme reaction to a situation where you dont have all the facts - but thats GOOD. its like a KO punch to her head.

she will react 1 of 2 ways. if she profusely professes that you've got it all wrong, and has an excuse for her behavior etc. - then she aint cheating and her IL is still high.

however, if she starts to rip in to you, or accuse you of being paranoid etc. - the key though being that her first reaction is to be DEFENSIVE as opposed to seeking to resolve whatever confusion has just occurred - then shes cheating.

she will first try to convince you that you are being paranoid. then the moment you cave on that front she will dump your *ss saying that you obviously dont trust her.

a woman with high IL wouldn't react that way. one who was cheating, or thinking about cheating, will.

so at least youll have your answer either way.

you cant lose whats truly yours. so sounds like its time to find out if shes truly yours.

 

[realsmoothie]

^ pay attention to that.

 

[mix_daylee]

It seems it's just a simple mind game. We all know how much women love to play those. So here's my advice... Don't go along with it! It seems like she's winning the battle since she's got you posting. I would try to go out with other girls (even if they're just friends) to send her a little message. If you give her the "I'll be having fun with other people while you play games" type of message, she's gonna know you're in demand and she will try to win back you attention.

 

[jonwon]

i will say that it is quite dumbfounding the lack of moral conscience many women have in this scenario.

they will purposely drive you nuts just so they can walk away from you because of such behavior - creating the illusion that YOU are the problem and not THEM.

this scenario right here accounts ffor 80% of the bad will many men have towards women.

what might be funny to try is next time you are with her sit her down and tell her that based on her resent behavior you are very convinced that she is cheating, or at least her attention is now being spent elsewhere. as a result you think it best to end the relationship.

now, this is an extreme reaction to a situation where you dont have all the facts - but thats GOOD. its like a KO punch to her head.

she will react 1 of 2 ways. if she profusely professes that you've got it all wrong, and has an excuse for her behavior etc. - then she aint cheating and her IL is still high.

however, if she starts to rip in to you, or accuse you of being paranoid etc. - the key though being that her first reaction is to be DEFENSIVE as opposed to seeking to resolve whatever confusion has just occurred - then shes cheating.

she will first try to convince you that you are being paranoid. then the moment you cave on that front she will dump your *ss saying that you obviously dont trust her.

a woman with high IL wouldn't react that way. one who was cheating, or thinking about cheating, will.

so at least youll have your answer either way.

you cant lose whats truly yours. so sounds like its time to find out if shes truly yours.

Nice post and i would agree.

Cheating possibly, i am not sure1, but the patterns are the same.

Is there a thread on why women play these games to mess up a guys head, so they can bail on them, i hate it when they do this cra* been there too many times, I think we need a solid post about this trait, maybe you can knock one up Joker I would be intrested to read your take on it.

As for cheating, there is just one nagging question and that is:
Why is this guy playing games with this women, why the phone game?
Also why would he suspect she would play the same game.

I want to know a little background to this, there is more going on here and this guy knows it.

Why did this guy feel the need to do the phone game, what are you noticaing or what is your gut saying to you.

 

[squirrels]

Wait...I don't get it.

You started trying to clown HER...and now you're all confused and upset because she decided to clown you back?

 

[warpy]

so whats going on ?

 

[speed dawg]

Low interest. H*ll, from your post, she sounds nothing like your "girlfriend".

joekerr31's post kicked ass. Don't let her off the hook the easy way, like he outlined. Don't let her make you the bad guy. The only way to do that is to be willing to walk away and not look back.

 

[MacAvoy]

they will purposely drive you nuts just so they can walk away from you because of such behavior - creating the illusion that YOU are the problem and not THEM.

what might be funny to try is next time you are with her sit her down and tell her that based on her recent behavior you are very convinced that she is cheating, or at least her attention is now being spent elsewhere. as a result you think it best to end the relationship.

now, this is an extreme reaction to a situation where you dont have all the facts - but thats GOOD. its like a KO punch to her head.

she will react 1 of 2 ways. if she profusely professes that you've got it all wrong, and has an excuse for her behavior etc. - then she aint cheating and her IL is still high.

however, if she starts to rip in to you, or accuse you of being paranoid etc. - the key though being that her first reaction is to be DEFENSIVE as opposed to seeking to resolve whatever confusion has just occurred - then shes cheating.

she will first try to convince you that you are being paranoid. then the moment you cave on that front she will dump your *ss saying that you obviously dont trust her.

a woman with high IL wouldn't react that way. one who was cheating, or thinking about cheating, will.

so at least youll have your answer either way.

you cant lose whats truly yours. so sounds like its time to find out if shes truly yours.

Thanx for all the input guys. I agree that she definately has low IL. I'm confident that she's not cheating however I do like Joker's idea to KO - overreact to guage her reaction.

I have no aversion to walking away. Someone also mentioned RT's infamous the one who needs the other the least, has the more power in a relationship and I think that is a key part of it. Its always been a power struggle. I gave up a degree of power when I moved here and now we are on her grounds.

I think it more revolves around the situation around her parents not approving of me. It might be another ploy by her to back off type of thing.

What are some of the ways to combat low IL?

I'm thinking that I might lead out with cheating / priorities elsewhere, shoot the breakup option out there to get a reaction. Then if she claims everything is ok, tell her that she's got to make more of a commitment then.

However how do I react if she plays the well you haven't called me either card?

The thing is on one hand I see it giving up power if I bring the subject up, part of me feels like I'd be better off just ignoring it and live my life. Kind of treat this as a side piece. Even though this is something I am fully committed to, part of me thinks the best way to achieve my goal is to act aloof / like it doesn't really matter.

 

[speed dawg]

This chick is driving you plumb insane. I just read previous posts and you've been wired tighter than a virgin's ass hole for months. You need to get up out of that situation. Is there a way to combat low IL? H*ll yeah you get the fukk out of dodge. The best advice here is the advice you absolutely refuse to use.

part of me thinks the best way to achieve my goal is to act aloof / like it doesn't really matter.

Part of you is right, but you can't act it. You have to live it.

 

[Vulpine]

This chick is driving you plumb insane. I just read previous posts and you've been wired tighter than a virgin's ass hole for months. You need to get up out of that situation. Is there a way to combat low IL? H*ll yeah you get the fukk out of dodge. The best advice here is the advice you absolutely refuse to use.

Part of you is right, but you can't act it. You have to live it.

This same chick? The one you moved for?

Speedo, they need a "high-five" smiley.:cheer:

MacAvoy, you're good sh!t, dude. But, you can't polish a turd, man. When she realizes that you NEVER call, maybe she'll ask what's up. At that point you can let her know she's on FB status. She may rush down to the pharmacy for a bottle of "ack rite" to try and spin herself back up, if not, *shrug* she'd be 2nd or 3rd string, right? RIGHT?!?!

The games, the drama, grrrrrRRRRR! So many things that deserve more energy!

When I pull the trigger on any one of my guns, guess what? They fire. If they don't, they get retired and replaced. When I put the bead on an animal, the animal dies. If not, things get looked into, sighted, and perhaps fixed. If it happens a second time, I can't rely on the gun to perform it's function, and it gets retired. I won't carry around the same piece in the woods if I have a mis-fire every other time just because it's "comfortable" or "I'm used to it." or "I don't want to learn to shoot another one". I'd rather not even go into the woods than carry around a gun that doesn't work.

I'm not trying to objectify women here, I'm pointing out a natural cause/effect. If something's purpose is to do something, and it doesn't, it's broken. Fix it or replace it. This chick must have some function, right? You've been trying to fix this broad for how long? Call it a day, or change her function.

When I retire a gun, it goes from "killing implement" to "wall hanging" or "ornament". See? Change the function.

Instead of "girlfriend", change her title or function to something like "source of drama" or "pain in the butt". Or, if you want a FB, "surplus ejactulate liquidation specialist".

Make her wear the nametag when she's over at your place, though.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Initially, I was going to post something to the effect that all these replies are a bit paranoid.

If a girl hasn't contacted you, if the girl hasn't called you, if the girl hasn't talked to you in a few days...why does everyone here automatically think that there's another guy?

Isn't your game is strong enough? Or does every guy here think when a girl show's them a little less attention...that to automatically assume that she's with someone else? That's pretty pathetic..

Why can't the cause of her lessened attention to this guy is for a REAL genuine reason like school stress, work stress, death in the family..etc. Just because you give your gf/spouse less attention on some average week, doesn't mean you're banging the neighbor's wife does it? Can't it mean its just football season?

But, after reading a few of MacAvoy's other posts about this gf and their relationship (parent's dissaproval of his daughter, her in college, etc)...I'm leaning toward the idea that you're game is pretty soft bud. In all your questions, you're asking for a magic pill to solve the problem. What tactic should I use? Will push/pull work? I've read every page of the Bible, what will help me?

Honestly bud...you're OVER-ANALYZING everything! She didn't call, she didn't text, what game is she playing, why didn't she stop by, etc - All marks of AFC thinking.

You've got to realize that if a woman cheats on you, if she is f*cking around with other guys, or if she's just plain bored with you...there isn't a tactic or a magic pill that will revert her into loving you again. If a woman cheats on you, she cheats. Period. Point. Blank.

Be a man and stop asking us questions about what tactics to use and why is she doing this or that. Grab your n*tsack and ask her straight up...what's the deal?

Don't ask her if she's cheating, don't ask her if she's bored of you, don't ask her why she doesn't love you as much anymore......let her know that you noticed that she's distant...then let HER do ALL the talking.

Notice how I said...LET HER do ALL the talking. Because most people in this situation has spun some wild tale that their gf is sleeping with 100 other dudes....just shut your mouth and listen.....

My hunch is that she's stressed about her parents not accepting you because of your age and the fact that you already have a child...and that their daughter is about to graduate college and shouldn't be tied down to a man with a ready made family.......but who am I to say........

Just ask her straight up...then listen.....

That'll save you the trouble of asking all these strangers on a forum what WE think your gf is doing....when you can just ask the source...

 

[MacAvoy]

Thanks -HPNOTIQ-. Thats some of the best advice I've gotten on here.

Your right, I do overanalyze things, its my nature.

I agree that my game has gotten soft since I moved here. Its partially because I'm out of my element, playing by different rules. However I chose this path because I knew I can do it and that was part of the challenge for me. Its taken me some time but I've slowly built a social circle away from her.

Even though I haven't spent time with her, I've been going out regularly with my friends. Back home, I had everything built up and it was easy to roll under those circumstances. Its just a matter of time before I get everything here back on the same wavelength and slowly improve my game again.

 

[speed dawg]

Thanks -HPNOTIQ-. Thats some of the best advice I've gotten on here.

Why? Because it's EXACTLY what you want to hear?

The best advice here is the advice you absolutely refuse to use.

Prophesy fullfilled.

Nothing against HYNOTIQ. You know your sh!t. But the fact of the matter is, this girl has had low IL all along. He moved to be with her, and she doesn't speak to him for a week? She's stressed by her relationship with MacAvoy, not work. Bank on it. But I agree he should do as you say. He just expects different results than all of us are predicting.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

I haven't been on sosuave for a bit..so I'm not sure about the specifics of MacAvoy's situation. I didn't know about her moving to be with him...I didn't know about where you guy's live in respect with her parents...I didn't know about her college situation.

I read a little bit about this situation from a few of MacAvoy's other posts...

Basically...all men should stop trying to predict what the girl is doing...(does she like me, is she cheating, does she have low IL, does she have high IL, does she like my shirt, did she hear me fart, can she smell my fart...catch my drift?)

Instead of predicting or guessing what the girl is thinking and doing...start focusing in on yourself. Grab your nuts, take the bull by the preverbial horns, or do some kind of macho male cliche and MAKE the future happen...don't guess, don't let fate take its course...MAKE THE COURSE.

That's why my advice in this scenerio is to just be straight up and ask her what's the deal.....no guess work....no second guessing....no push/pull....no neg hits.....no bs.

IMO, a quality relationship (if MacAvoy can say he even has one) shouldn't have tactics, snares, tests or traps. If you have a quality, mature, DJ-esq woman...than she should be adult enough to be asked a straight forward question. I'm not even sure if what kind of relationship is this....if this is a 3 year LTR or a 2 month fling. If its just a fling....f*ck it....just do you bro...if its LTR type status...then be blunt.

Don't be sappy about it...don't trip...don't get all emotional...REMEMBER...listen to HER...and let her do all the emotional thinking...you're the man. Women over analyze...men take action.

 

[STR8UP]

Initially, I was going to post something to the effect that all these replies are a bit paranoid.

If a girl hasn't contacted you, if the girl hasn't called you, if the girl hasn't talked to you in a few days...why does everyone here automatically think that there's another guy?

Isn't your game is strong enough? Or does every guy here think when a girl show's them a little less attention...that to automatically assume that she's with someone else? That's pretty pathetic..

If you start to see a change in behavior it means that she is either fukking someone else or WILL BE shortly.

I've been with more than a few women in my lifetime and I've NEVER seen it go down any other way.