"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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What exactly is a "dating coach"?

MatureDJ

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I've been reading a bunch of stuff on in the 'net about 30-something women hiring a "dating coach". Is this merely someone who gives women rational advice on how to attract and keep men interested - mainly by telling the women not to be so picky (since that is the easiest way to get and keep a man!)

As for me, it seems to be money down a rathole, but I guess for women, it's either that or another pair of shoes ...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Warrior74

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What exactly is a "dating coach"?... A professional Yenta. Oi Vey!
 

Scaramouche

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Dear MDJ,
seems,for them a very good Idea....Older Women in particular,have such unrealistic expectations,it could only be a good thing all round.
 

sodbuster

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No sh1t, there's a 40 year old 6 in town that thinks she's a 25 yr old 8... wonders why she can't find "the one". BUT not even women can talk sense into some women
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Sod Buster,
Though I suppose,trudging along behind that old Horse gives you plenty of time to think as you break the Virgin soil....Don't give it a moments more thought,women such as you describe,are not worth a Tinkers Toss...concentrate more on ploughing 35 year old 8's that think they are sixes.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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zekko

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I don't know what a dating coach is, but for some reason I have a feeling they would be telling women things that are very similar to what guys are told here:
Be hard to get, show indifference, don't be overeager, don't give in too easily, show you have options, be a challenge, etc.

Not saying that would be good advice, of course. Probably the best thing a girl can do is let the guy know she likes him and most men will be attracted to that.
 

Yahooey

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MatureDJ said:
Is this merely someone who gives women rational advice on how to attract and keep men interested - mainly by telling the women not to be so picky (since that is the easiest way to get and keep a man!)
Getting a man interested is rarely the problem. They teach them how to not raise red flags that scare men away, e.g. talking LTR, babies on the first date.
 

zekko

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Yahooey said:
They teach them how to not raise red flags that scare men away, e.g. talking LTR, babies on the first date.
Again, pretty much the same thing that they tell guys here.
 

Buddha_Mind

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dankane said:
Mystery Method for Women

BJ training.
lol.

Dating coaches eh? I would like to sit in on a conversation.

It's funny how so many people are wanting to be with another person -- yet we are supposed to feign disconnect, feign disconcern, etc, etc -- honesty is the way of the male or female chump and spits out the romance flame...odd isn't it..Why I wonder?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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zekko

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Buddha_Mind said:
It's funny how so many people are wanting to be with another person -- yet we are supposed to feign disconnect, feign disconcern, etc, etc -- honesty is the way of the male or female chump and spits out the romance flame...odd isn't it..Why I wonder?
It is kind of funny, isn't it? But being overeager can imply that you are not a high value person with options.

Really, feigning disinterest is just a technique, playing the odds. There have been plenty of cases where guys have expressed interest and the girl has been absolutely delighted.
 

mrRuckus

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I only persue what shows interest. I don't feel like wasting my time to go after someone who i'm not sure gives a crap. I do not love "the chase" in the least.
 

Buddha_Mind

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mrRuckus said:
I only persue what shows interest. I don't feel like wasting my time to go after someone who i'm not sure gives a crap. I do not love "the chase" in the least.
Yes man.

And playing the odds too -- tonight I was out and just trying to talk to many women -- if one is giving you too much trouble, well **** it, there's another.
 

jafyk

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A dating coach: Well, ummmmm a coach who likes to go on dates. No? lol
 

sodbuster

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Pretty brutal one on MTV...a guy who gives women HE!! He tells them from a mans point of view. Not much for us to see,but maybe WOMEN will wake up
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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