"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

What exactly happened here?

Vidrio

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 26, 2012
Messages
205
Reaction score
10
Location
Chicago
Basically in the beginning of the fall semester of my freshman year of college(6 months ago) I had finished class and it was raining very hard outside, so I was waiting at the door for it to stop. This HB7 walked up to me and initiated conversation and we talked for about 10 minutes. She pretty much told me her life story. She said multiple times that she didn't know anybody at the school, without me asking, which I took as an IOI, also the fact that she initiated conversation made me think she was interested. The thing is though, that when I said I had to go let me get your number, she said her phone was dead and to put my number in her phone. We all know what that means. She never contacted me, and I didn't really care. The thing is, I just walked past her and she was staring at me for a long time. I assume in that situation she would've tried to avoid me. Basically I want to know, why would a girl initiate convo, give off several IOIs, and not contact me, and then stare at me later?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Uncharted

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2013
Messages
740
Reaction score
47
Location
Brooklyn, NY
She's a social misfit?

Seriously though maybe she just doesn't get how it all works. When you see her just say Hi as if you would to a random guy friend. If you talk for a while and it seems like she's flirting just ask her out right there. Say "let's go for drinks/coffee on Wednesday".
 

self-respect

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2012
Messages
59
Reaction score
5
You just met girl AFC. There's way less of em out there than guys but they exist. Usually never got attention from guys growing up so are HB6 or lower. Maybe a late bloomer.
 

self-respect

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2012
Messages
59
Reaction score
5
Girls who don't have social awareness just like AFCs. There's many reasons - bad parenting saying sex is wrong, waiting for sex, no friends growing up, ugly and no guys giving her attention, shy, romantically naive or just clueless and not knowing every girl out there older than 18 is opening her legs for guys regularly.
She'll get a shock one day when she sees how the world really works.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Naughty Ninja

Banned
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
2,419
Reaction score
98
Location
Banned
Vidrio said:
Basically in the beginning of the fall semester of my freshman year of college(6 months ago) I had finished class and it was raining very hard outside, so I was waiting at the door for it to stop. This HB7 walked up to me and initiated conversation and we talked for about 10 minutes. She pretty much told me her life story. She said multiple times that she didn't know anybody at the school, without me asking, which I took as an IOI, also the fact that she initiated conversation made me think she was interested. The thing is though, that when I said I had to go let me get your number, she said her phone was dead and to put my number in her phone. We all know what that means. She never contacted me, and I didn't really care. The thing is, I just walked past her and she was staring at me for a long time. I assume in that situation she would've tried to avoid me. Basically I want to know, why would a girl initiate convo, give off several IOIs, and not contact me, and then stare at me later?

Seriously dude? You worry about every little detail?

So she told you she didn't know anyone at school and didn't give you her number.

You simply act like it never happened and next time you see her smile and say hi. If she talks make small talk and keep it moving. If not smile regardless and say hi. Don't come off like a scared loner.

You have to treat chicks like normal people. If you see her don't focus on her being a chick. Think of a dude you met or relative whatever so your hello and interactions with her are normal and effortless.

This sh1t isn't rocket science.

Eventually the chick will see you don't give a damn that she never called and will either look for you or start calling or go her own way. No biggie. You simply have to treat things that way and I promise you chicks WILL pick up on it that you aren't a friggin weirdo, loner, scared, let alone effected by them not giving a number or calling.
 

Vidrio

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 26, 2012
Messages
205
Reaction score
10
Location
Chicago
Naughty Ninja said:
Seriously dude? You worry about every little detail?

So she told you she didn't know anyone at school and didn't give you her number.

You simply act like it never happened and next time you see her smile and say hi. If she talks make small talk and keep it moving. If not smile regardless and say hi. Don't come off like a scared loner.

You have to treat chicks like normal people. If you see her don't focus on her being a chick. Think of a dude you met or relative whatever so your hello and interactions with her are normal and effortless.

This sh1t isn't rocket science.

Eventually the chick will see you don't give a damn that she never called and will either look for you or start calling or go her own way. No biggie. You simply have to treat things that way and I promise you chicks WILL pick up on it that you aren't a friggin weirdo, loner, scared, let alone effected by them not giving a number or calling.
Dude, I don't even want her, and all this is How To Get A Girl 101. I'm just asking to improve my knowledge. However, thanks for the input.
 

Naughty Ninja

Banned
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
2,419
Reaction score
98
Location
Banned
Vidrio said:
Dude, I don't even want her, and all this is How To Get A Girl 101. I'm just asking to improve my knowledge. However, thanks for the input.
So you just want to know for your knowledge why a chick who you thought gave you IOI's, wouldn't give you her number, you don't want anyway would stare at you later on?

She could've just been seeing how you reacted to her not giving her number and not calling you by looking at you and seeing if you'd still talk to her or would run off, look defeated etc.

Who knows. No one knows you or her. Why don't you ask her and find out for yourself?

To be honest dudes who don't care about a chick nor want her wouldn't be worried about why a chick stares at them after giving them IOI's and not giving them their number just for their own information. What purpose would it serve if it happened again? An ego boost of some sort from not getting her number or a call from a chick?
 

Vidrio

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 26, 2012
Messages
205
Reaction score
10
Location
Chicago
Naughty Ninja said:
So you just want to know for your knowledge why a chick who you thought gave you IOI's, wouldn't give you her number, you don't want anyway would stare at you later on?

She could've just been seeing how you reacted to her not giving her number and not calling you by looking at you and seeing if you'd still talk to her or would run off, look defeated etc.

Who knows. No one knows you or her. Why don't you ask her and find out for yourself?

To be honest dudes who don't care about a chick nor want her wouldn't be worried about why a chick stares at them after giving them IOI's and not giving them their number just for their own information. What purpose would it serve if it happened again? An ego boost of some sort from not getting her number or a call from a chick?
First of all, it's impossible for me to talk to her. I saw her once 6 months ago, and then I just so happened to see her today, while I was going to a class I was already late to. I highly doubt I'll see her again. I'm curious as to what happened, and what specifically this means. It has absolutely nothing to do with the girl, it's the situation. I've never heard of this happening, so I was trying to see if I could get an explanation for it. Usually when a girl does it she doesn't give multiple IOIs, so I was perplexed. The purpose it serves is because I want to satisfy my curiosity, and the information could help me out in my dealings with the opposite sex and goal of improving myself. I don't even see how I could possibly get an ego boost from this.
 

JohnChops

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
2,734
Reaction score
481
Location
No more keyboard jockeying . Action is the place.
Is this real life ..... SoSuave needs its own soap opera. You made a thread about a girl you saw 6 months ago, apparently have no interest in, but yet you keep replying because you want more "knowledge" . You get that from the field. And jesus, this is the definition of over-analyzing . You thought everything she did was an IOI, why bother even looking for those ? Dumb indicators. The only indicator you need is "What is your number?".
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Top