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What Everyone is Calling Branch Swinging

drmeathead

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I call cheating. A woman in committed relationship has no business going to dinner with an old friend or ex, alone. There are things that you can do single and things you just cant do in a committed, exclusive relationship. Guys sorry but I feel strip clubs are out of line too.

Anyway "A man and woman can never truely be just friends because sex gets in the way." That line is taken from When Harry Met Sally. It is truth. I know it has been beat up countless times on here but I say a male "friend" of a female lacks ability or opportunity not intent. Women know this. The smart ones play dumb to it.

Maybe what I am missing here lately is that this branch swinging term that has come to vogue is dealing with women and men in uncomitted relationships. Men and women who havent had "the talk" yet. Or maybe have had it but it was initated by the man who subsequently lost the power position of the relationship and cannot stop the branch swinging.

If it is the case that the woman is branch swinging in uncomitted "relationships", then well sorry but that is tough **** for the guy. No excuses, no complaining step up your game or get replaced. If it is happening in a truely committed and supposedly exclusive deal then maybe it is time to re-evaluate whether it is truely committed and exclusive and how well you and your woman are relating. It isnt acceptable. It shouldnt be tolerated.

Would a guy allow a supposedly good friend to explore other options and if he cant find anything better to just come back and hangout. Would he allow his employee to shop around for better jobs, try a few out maybe, and then come back and give them the full benefits package as though they never left the office? The answer is no. The only example of humans permitting another human to do this to them (outside of The NotebookTianticLifetime media fantasy land) is a parent to a child. However parents let the Prodigal Son return so to speak because they have a vested interst in providing that child a good environment so the child will pass on the said parents genes.

What are the thoughts on here?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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drmeathead said:
...What are the thoughts on here?
Just another example of immediate gratification and abundance being in vogue. It's the age that we live in.
 

aliasguy

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Women do what women do. Call it whatever you want.

Men do what men do. Call it whatever you want.

Life is as life is. Accept the realities. "Fire" the girls when you don't like what they do. Expect women to "fire" you when they don't like what YOU do.

If people make promises, they should KEEP them. But, realize that they often DON'T.

Reality doesn't match up with what we WISH to be true.

It's ok, though. Once you accept it.
 

joekerr31

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a woman can be friends with a guy if that guy is not attracted to her.

i've got female friends that i have no desire to sleep with. its not a problem.

now you also say 'women are not that dumb'. but i beg to differ. a lot of women ARE that dumb. its not so much that they are dumb, but rather that they feel confident that they aren't going to cheat no matter what, hence there is nothing to be worried about.

in essence they play with fire thinking they can keep it under control.

but all it takes is a fight with the boyfriend and for the other guy to make his move and BAM she has cheated.

personally i dont even bother thinking about this stuff. i'll next a woman long before she actually cheats. im very good at reading behavior and picking up on signs that something is changing in her.

my view on women is very simple. as long as they are adding to my life, great. if they are detracting from my happiness, then time to move on.
 

jophil28

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drmeathead said:
I call cheating. A woman in committed relationship has no business going to dinner with an old friend or ex, alone.
The smart ones play dumb to it.


JOPHIL replies -- Exactly - whenever one party turns outside their primary intimate relationship to connect with someone else with romantic intentions THEY ARE CHEATING.


If it is happening in a truely committed and supposedly exclusive deal then maybe it is time to re-evaluate whether it is truely committed and exclusive and how well you and your woman are relating. It isnt acceptable. It shouldnt be tolerated.

If your LTR G/f is "doing" lunch with an Ex, without a practical reason, then she is Attention Wh0ring. If she is having coffee with the guy in the next cube she is attention wh0ring and pr1ck teasing and exploring .

These women are "still shopping" and are not fully committed to you or the relationship and deserved to be dumped because she is on her way to dumping you as soon as the BBD appears .
Perhaps I am just getting old and ctnical but I have seen what flagrant self interest does to women and how they are willing to behave to satisfy their whims and wants.
 

Desdinova

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joekerr said:
a woman can be friends with a guy if that guy is not attracted to her.
I beg to differ.

A woman can DEFINATELY be friends with a guy who is attracted to her. It's the guy who cannot be friends with a woman he's attracted to.

Face it, women get a lot of positive attention from men. But when a man acts differently from the others (in other words, not showering her with complements and gifts), she will start wondering why he doesn't act this way. This gets the ball rolling for the woman to think about this guy more, and try figuring him out. Eventually, the woman starts to get curious, and even worse, she's thinking about him more and more.

When a man gets stuck inside a woman's brain, she's already attracted to him even if she hasn't realized it yet. This is one of the things I try to do when I interact with a woman - get myself stuck in her brain. It's highly effective, even years later as I've confirmed after I encountered a woman I hadn't seen in five years. She was still in love with me, still thinking about me, and still wanting me.

The men who make the effort to "seduce" the woman with gifts and compliments only irritate the hell out of her. She doesn't want to think about these guys! She wants them to just turn into women so they'll stop pressuring her into dating them. But the guys who don't complement her will cause her to wonder why he's not attracted to her, and will embark on the challenge of getting him attracted to her.
 

Colossus

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drmeathead said:
I call cheating. A woman in committed relationship has no business going to dinner with an old friend or ex, alone. There are things that you can do single and things you just cant do in a committed, exclusive relationship. Guys sorry but I feel strip clubs are out of line too.
I agree with this. In my eyes there are things that are simply unacceptable in a relationship. Going 'out' with an old male friend or ex may seem harmless, but get real. At some point in the realtionship you both have to be straight up with each other and sh!t or get off the pot. It's is either going to be a mutually agreeable, exclusive relationship, or it isnt.

I have dealt with a discourteous lack of communication with a certain woman before. If i am going to make the sacrifices to be exclusive with a woman, i do expect regular, courteous communication. Vanishing from contact or not corresponding for days at a time, for sometimes trivial reasons, is unacceptable to me. Some may not see it as a big deal, but to me it is disrespectful. This woman would become indignant when i would confront her about it, or she would make her amends, only to do it again a few weeks later.

Both men and women do things their s.o. would not approve of from time to time. But if your woman has a habit or way about her that is unacceptable to you, first look at yourself. Oftentimes i have done this only to find that i was unreasonable in how i handled it. If your dealings with her are fair and you kept your cool (the most important thing), then it may be time to move on.

drmeathead said:
Anyway "A man and woman can never truely be just friends because sex gets in the way." That line is taken from When Harry Met Sally. It is truth. I know it has been beat up countless times on here but I say a male "friend" of a female lacks ability or opportunity not intent. Women know this. The smart ones play dumb to it.

Maybe what I am missing here lately is that this branch swinging term that has come to vogue is dealing with women and men in uncomitted relationships. Men and women who havent had "the talk" yet. Or maybe have had it but it was initated by the man who subsequently lost the power position of the relationship and cannot stop the branch swinging.

If it is the case that the woman is branch swinging in uncomitted "relationships", then well sorry but that is tough **** for the guy. No excuses, no complaining step up your game or get replaced. If it is happening in a truely committed and supposedly exclusive deal then maybe it is time to re-evaluate whether it is truely committed and exclusive and how well you and your woman are relating. It isnt acceptable. It shouldnt be tolerated.

Would a guy allow a supposedly good friend to explore other options and if he cant find anything better to just come back and hangout. Would he allow his employee to shop around for better jobs, try a few out maybe, and then come back and give them the full benefits package as though they never left the office? The answer is no. The only example of humans permitting another human to do this to them (outside of The NotebookTianticLifetime media fantasy land) is a parent to a child. However parents let the Prodigal Son return so to speak because they have a vested interst in providing that child a good environment so the child will pass on the said parents genes.

What are the thoughts on here?
There is a lot more to children that simply ensuring they pass on our genes. We are not animals. Would you still love your son if he became sterile? Would a mother still love her daughter if she was unable to bear children? Of course. Thats called unconditional love, and it's the only place in humanity you can find it with certainty.
 

bigjohnson

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Colossus said:
In my eyes there are things that are simply unacceptable in a relationship. Going 'out' with an old male friend or ex may seem harmless, but get real. At some point in the realtionship you both have to be straight up with each other and sh!t or get off the pot. It's is either going to be a mutually agreeable, exclusive relationship, or it isnt.
I agree with this however society often excuses little princesses for this behavior. They know at some level that guys don't pay attention to them unless they would like to get in their pants, but they think extracting a little attention tax from "friends" they have no intention of being intimate with is somehow OK.
 

Master Bates

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I agree with this. In my eyes there are things that are simply unacceptable in a relationship. Going 'out' with an old male friend or ex may seem harmless, but get real. At some point in the realtionship you both have to be straight up with each other and sh!t or get off the pot. It's is either going to be a mutually agreeable, exclusive relationship, or it isnt.
You sound like an incredibly insecure control freak. A woman can't go out to dinner or meet up with an old male friend? Get real.
 

dietzcoi

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Mater Bates, you sound like somebody who likes to excuse bad behaviour on the part of women.. it this really what you want to do? Do women need a champion for thier bad behaviour on this site?

What makes you want to make excuses for them? Maybe you like to have lunch with "old flames" yourself??

Dietzcoi
 

bigjohnson

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Master Bates said:
A woman can't go out to dinner or meet up with an old male friend? Get real.
Sure she can, it's a free country. She has to realize that the guy she's going out with wants at some level to score, so if she's going one on one with a guy who's trying to score then obviously she's not interested enough in me to be taken seriously by me. If that makes me a controller then so be it, but that's the way it is.
 

Mr. Wise

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What you call branch swinging, I call the Monkey Bar Syndrome. Anyway, it's always a bummer as to your girl going out with a male. I feel it's ok as long as it doesn't happen twice in a short span of time and there's a good explanation for it (ie. business, long time friend, etc.). If you feel as though things are rocky in a relationship, then it could be what's taking place. However, if you have a good solid relationship then there's no need to panic. YOU as a man should be able to sense when something not right. Let your instincts guide you. If you do feel that somethings wrong then by all means tell her that you'll walk if she goes out with the dude - and mean it.
 

Colossus

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Master Bates said:
You sound like an incredibly insecure control freak. A woman can't go out to dinner or meet up with an old male friend? Get real.
Learn to read in context, cretin.

'Out' with an old friend in the context of what we are talking about here is a hanging with a guy she used to fvck. Exes fall into the same category.

It also depends on the situation. Lunch with a pal from college, fine. A nice candle-lit dinner with a 'friend' downtown? Come on. I'm not going to stop her, but I'm not going to pretend it didnt happen either.

If there is one thing men know it's each other's motives with women; perhaps because we all have a little scallywag in each of us.
 

bigjohnson

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Mr. Wise said:
..... If you do feel that somethings wrong then by all means tell her that you'll walk if she goes out with the dude - and mean it.
If that works for you then good, but I'd never do that. For me, it's time to start dialing for dates again. Good for goose and gander, all that. Making a threat has just never worked so I stopped doing it and now do what works. Spend my attention elsewhere, it's the currency women are competing for.

A threat is in my experience a form of attention and in a twisted way a reward for bad behavior.
 

drmeathead

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Colossus said:
There is a lot more to children that simply ensuring they pass on our genes. We are not animals. Would you still love your son if he became sterile? Would a mother still love her daughter if she was unable to bear children? Of course. Thats called unconditional love, and it's the only place in humanity you can find it with certainty.
right i agree with that too. dare i say it is unconditional love because inately we know that this the only way our genes would be passed on. I choose to think not but it isnt a point that can be totally ruled out.
 

drmeathead

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Master Bates said:
You sound like an incredibly insecure control freak. A woman can't go out to dinner or meet up with an old male friend? Get real.

any woman i date is free to do as she pleases but also needs to remember i am free to respond any way i please to her actions as well.

if a woman goes out to dinner with another man, one on one, is there any reason that the current partner cant go. what are they going to talk about that the current partner cant hear about? in a purely platonic relationship, there would be no flirting to be observed, no innuendo laden talks to be had, no little glances to be shared or no little voice modulations that cry out "i want you" ever so suddenly. i mean if that isnt going on then what does a woman have to hide from her partner by not allowing him to "intrude" on the "date".

as far as controling, how about the woman being so controling and self centered that she demands to see old flames despite knowing the fact it makes the man uncomfortable?
 

guru1000

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You sound like an incredibly insecure control freak.
I call him VERY SECURE to lay out the foundation of the relationship and EXPRESS HIS BOUNDARIES with the fortitude to live by his TERMS or walk away.


A woman can't go out to dinner or meet up with an old male friend? Get real
A woman can do whatever she wants. Free will. However, if her actions in choice crosses the BOUNDARY that is in place, no matter how silly or ridiculous it is, she better be prepared to find another relationship.
 

( . )( . )

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drmeathead said:
Men and women who havent had "the talk" yet.
"The talk" is a logical entity and thus does not apply to females, dont delude yourself into thinking your "honour code" crosses over to her way of thinking. It doesnt and never will.

Chicks can and will do pretty much whatever they want, there are no social restraints when you are society. The make believe barriers most men have erected for themselves are non existant for a creature who's ALWAYS emotionally driven.

drmeathead said:
What are the thoughts on here?
It's all bullsh!t, your entire post and way of thinking counts for zero and is null and void. However dont sh!t your pants and slit your wrists just yet.

It's not all bad news, on the contrary. Break through those self put barriers, become a man of excellence, join the other 10% of men and believe it or not she's usually not silly enough to risk "dinner with an old friend"....But who gives a sh!t if she does to a guy like you anyway is more the million dollar question.
 

Mr. Wise

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bigjohnson said:
If that works for you then good, but I'd never do that. For me, it's time to start dialing for dates again. Good for goose and gander, all that. Making a threat has just never worked so I stopped doing it and now do what works. Spend my attention elsewhere, it's the currency women are competing for.

A threat is in my experience a form of attention and in a twisted way a reward for bad behavior.
Big J, I wouldn't be calling other chicks if you're in a solid relationship. I also wouldn't drop a threat unless your instincts tell you that something is REALLY wrong. If you really feel that somethings going on and you start calling other chicks to go out then it doesn't accomplish anything. By you walking away with the frame of mind that says, "ok, I guess I'm out, have a good life" then it says that you're strong and confident that you can get someone else without a problem. By dating other chicks to seem everythings ok will not nuture a healthy relationship, it only shows that you're immature, jealous and insecure.
 

bigjohnson

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Mr. Wise said:
Big J, I wouldn't be calling other chicks if you're in a solid relationship.
If she's seeing her ex recreationally you're by definition not in a solid relationship.
 
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