LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
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What does "Try harder" or "You aren't trying hard enough" or any of its variations from a girl mean?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
What does this mean?
- Thread starter LostAndConfused
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
GaryUranga
Master Don Juan
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whats the context..¿?
girl_in_a_boy_forum
Senior Don Juan
Hard to tell from the lack of context, but my guess is she'd like to see you put in more effort.
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
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Oh sorry, it was basically from a neg. I mean I know I don't neg as much as I should, but when I do neg usually its quality and I don't go too far with it any more. But on three different occasions I've got something like "try harder" or "you aren't trying hard enough". Its really weird.
:EDIT: I'll give an example. These two girls (I swear the are more than just "friends") were wearing similar outfits and I walked up, laughed and said "thats cute, did yall plan this?" then one of them said "try harder next time." Usually negs like that seem to work.
:EDIT: I'll give an example. These two girls (I swear the are more than just "friends") were wearing similar outfits and I walked up, laughed and said "thats cute, did yall plan this?" then one of them said "try harder next time." Usually negs like that seem to work.
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
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So does anyone know what "Try Harder" means in this context?
tucking fypo
Don Juan
lol wow ur username says it all , those girls are just not intersted in you and when they said "try harder" it meant something like "if ur trying to get me or make me laugh, try harder its not working". do u understand wat im saying?
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
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Yeah man I get what you are saying.
But its a real weird way to say "try harder its not working." Like if I were the girls I'd have thousands of wittier/smarter ways of saying "its not working."
But its a real weird way to say "try harder its not working." Like if I were the girls I'd have thousands of wittier/smarter ways of saying "its not working."
Randallpink83
Master Don Juan
I think in that exact context as in "nice outfits, yall plan this" .. "try harder" was just her attempt at a comeback.LostAndConfused said:So does anyone know what "Try Harder" means in this context?
You can treat it as a sh!t test.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
ask her what exactly you should try harder with? she means hitting on her ofc. "Doing a better job"
you can easily just ask her if she is so ****ing out of her mind that she thinks everybody's hitting on her constantly, and that she should be able to see the difference between a common interaction and a pickup thing.. you dig?
you're setting the frame that she's hoping to be picked up, but you're just after a common interacton and she should get more social skills.
you can easily just ask her if she is so ****ing out of her mind that she thinks everybody's hitting on her constantly, and that she should be able to see the difference between a common interaction and a pickup thing.. you dig?
you're setting the frame that she's hoping to be picked up, but you're just after a common interacton and she should get more social skills.