What does this mean?

[Paintballguy]

hey! i have been having a lot of fun hangin out with you too. But i think you should know that im not looking for a relationship. i dont want to lead you on.

WTF this is after her flirting with me and stuff.

 

[BannedGod]

WTF this is after her flirting with me and stuff.

She is not interested. If she were, she wouldn't have said this. Basically she flirted with you because she is an attention wh*re.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

It means she was just flirting, not interested, and she was probably enjoying herself. When I flirt with girls with whom I'm not interested (practice and it's fun) and they start wanting something more than talk, I give them approximately that line.

 

[ClassAct]

I don't necessarily agree. It depends on the context in which it was brought up. If it was at a high point of your interaction with her, she may have been testing you, in which case it matters much more how you responded. In that situation, I would have said something that questioned why she brought it up. I would have turned the tables and simply asked why she even brought the subject up.

On the other hand, if it occured at some point in which you were pursuing her, such as asking for a date, I would assume low interest and take a few steps back untill it's her that's pursuing you.

 

[paraguayandj]

she just told you straight up that she doesn't want you. In other words she did you a favor

 

[Paintballguy]

I don't necessarily agree. It depends on the context in which it was brought up. If it was at a high point of your interaction with her, she may have been testing you, in which case it matters much more how you responded. In that situation, I would have said something that questioned why she brought it up. I would have turned the tables and simply asked why she even brought the subject up.

On the other hand, if it occured at some point in which you were pursuing her, such as asking for a date, I would assume low interest and take a few steps back untill it's her that's pursuing you.

this is what she said back

I just really dont want a commitment at all right now and i didnt know what you were thinking so i just wanted to tell you where i was coming from before things got complicated.

 

[ClassAct]

yeah it sounds pretty genuine. I would need to know exactly how the convo/interaction went. But play it safe and lay off for a while. Unless she insinuates no strings attached hooking up, in which case it's completely up to you. You have given almost no background or context to judge accurately. The easiest way to gauge her would be to not initiate any contact/communication with her and see how she responds.

 

[Kings_royalty]

I just really dont want a commitment at all right now and i didnt know what you were thinking so i just wanted to tell you where i was coming from before things got complicated.

It's possible that things were going along fine but something happened that turned her off. Was it something that you did? Possibly.

My response would have been...

'Hey, hey...hold on a second. Who said anything about dating, much less a commitment; I was just having some fun girl, you need to relax'.

 

[Paintballguy]

I just really dont want a commitment at all right now and i didnt know what you were thinking so i just wanted to tell you where i was coming from before things got complicated.

It's possible that things were going along fine but something happened that turned her off. Was it something that you did? Possibly.

My response would have been...

'Hey, hey...hold on a second. Who said anything about dating, much less a commitment; I was just having some fun girl, you need to relax'.

I have no idea... I kissed her two times. Usually girls dont keep hanging out with you and let you kiss them if they dont like you.

 

[Paintballguy]

next response from her

i really just want to be single i was in a serious relationship that didnt end the best and i just want a break from that and to be able to do what i want and not hurt someone else in the process. i think your an awesome guy its just not good timing and thats not fair to you.

 

[Kings_royalty]

I have no idea... She kissed me two times. Usually girls dont keep hanging out with you and let you kiss them if they dont like you.

It doesn’t matter if she likes you or not bro (she was obviously into you); it's the comment that needs to be addressed. How you react to those types of ‘tests’ will define your relationship with her.

Her comment was an opportunity in disguise, an opportunity for you to set the frame and position yourself as the lead.

Personally, I LOVE those types of comments from women, they are lots of fun.

 

[Paintballguy]

It doesn’t matter if she likes you or not bro (she was obviously into you); it's the comment that needs to be addressed. How you react to those types of ‘tests’ will define your relationship with her.

Her comment was an opportunity in disguise, an opportunity for you to set the frame and position yourself as the lead.

Personally, I LOVE those types of comments from women, they are lots of fun.

I think you are right.... after she said this

i really just want to be single i was in a serious relationship that didnt end the best and i just want a break from that and to be able to do what i want and not hurt someone else in the process. i think your an awesome guy its just not good timing and thats not fair to you.

I replied with "well it doesnt mean we still can't hangout and have fun"

she responded with "ok thats good"

 

[edmond]

Does she have to draw you a picture, if a girl says no then leave it at no. Stop trying to look to deep into the matter.

 

[Centaurion]

She showed you the door, but somehow it got warped in your AFC brain and now you have illusions of getting together with her.

Well, every b!tch needs a AFC-lapdog-emotional-tampong.

 

[anointed]

I just really dont want a commitment at all right now and i didnt know what you were thinking so i just wanted to tell you where i was coming from before things got complicated.

It's possible that things were going along fine but something happened that turned her off. Was it something that you did? Possibly.

My response would have been...

'Hey, hey...hold on a second. Who said anything about dating, much less a commitment; I was just having some fun girl, you need to relax'.

Hit the nail on the head.. What she said was nothing to have a man period over.. It was a b*tch test pure and simple..A common one at that, and it wouldve been possible to pass it in my opinion

 

[Paintballguy]

Hit the nail on the head.. What she said was nothing to have a man period over.. It was a b*tch test pure and simple..A common one at that, and it wouldve been possible to pass it in my opinion

and I think I have passed it honestly... Here are the emails.

HB: i really just want to be single i was in a serious relationship that didnt end the best and i just want a break from that and to be able to do what i want and not hurt someone else in the process. i think your an awesome guy its just not good timing and thats not fair to you.

Me: well it doesnt mean we cant hangout and have fun

HB: k good

Me: you and your friends should help me tryout the hot tub. I havent got a chance to use it yet.

HB: k sounds good just let us know when

 

[Albion10]

I don't care if a woman has been out of her last relationship for one minute or one year, as soon as she's out she's already looking for a new one. You've been LJBFd my friend.

hey! i have been having a lot of fun hangin out with you too. But i think you should know that im not looking for a relationship. i dont want to lead you on.

What she's really thinking, "I'm kinda attracted to you, but I think you're starting to wuss out on me here. Let's see what happens if I toss some gas on the fire. A real man won't flinch, but a wuss will run like a little red headed girl."

I would have probably responded with, "So? I'm just having fun flirting with you. It's refreshing and fun! Unfortunately for me, my girlfriend doesn't flirt with me like this anymore."

HB: i really just want to be single i was in a serious relationship that didnt end the best and i just want a break from that and to be able to do what i want and not hurt someone else in the process. i think your an awesome guy its just not good timing and thats not fair to you.

What she really meant to say was this "I don't want to look bad by telling you I'm not attracted to you, so I'm going to lie to you to make you feel better about the entire situation. If you still want to be an emotional tampon for me to cry to when my girlfriends are all busy then that's great. But... we need to make this perfectly clear, no part of you is ever coming anywhere near my v@gina... EVER!"

My response, "Your loss honey."

Aren't women awesome!?!

-Al

 

[backbreaker]

stop microanalyzing the situtation.. anyone that flat out tells you they don't like you like, there is no sugar in that coating... thank you for having the decency to send you on to greener pastures and move on. However, i bet she would be a great gal to hang with when you get MORE PLATES SPINNING and you have in fact moved on. other than that, get on with your life

 

[Paintballguy]

I seriously gotta start being an *******....

 

[Paintballguy]

So this girl sends me a text message the other day randomly.... I havent made any attempt to contact her since we last hungout.

Long story short, I am hanging out with her thursday.

Should I just go in for everything and see what happens?