Francisco d'Anconia said:
I'm in the same boat. The funny thing is that I'm damn near 100% sure that the woman that would knock my socks off enough for me to consider marriage would be a woman who wouldn't feel it would be necessary for us to get married in order to prove our commitment to one another. Does such a woman even exist? The search continues...
Dude, dude, dude, DOOOOOD! Check it...
My current gf asked me on a road trip last night:
"Why do guys need to screw a variety of women?"
Uh, oh. Here we go!
I explained at length the biological programming, related to a little "us" issue because I understood her wºmªnese, then segued into other heavy, heavy topics just because this marriage crap was hot in my brain.
She asked how old I wanted to be when I had kids: "I'm past that point already. It would have been cool to have a kid when I was 16: My kids would be graduating high school in a couple years!" We discussed biological/health benefits of having kids earlier than later.
She asked if I even wanted kids: "Of course, you?"
Such and such, and I eventually led the conversation to some marriage law injustices and antiquities (much like chivalry is antique), to which she agreed, and on and on.
I was SHOCKED,
SHOCKED at how progressive, fair, and in-tune this chick's views were with my own. I let her ramble on about "some chicks get married just to..." Man, it almost gave me a hard-on. I wish I had a tape recorder to play it back for you guys, seriously, it was that good. I had to smoke a cigarette afterwards.
I brought up being together benefits versus marriage benefits. The ring, the name change, the strength of the relationship... you can have those without a piece of paper saying "married". She brought up financial benefit concerns: insurance, taxes, bills, etc. To which I replied...
V: "We already split bills. You have to figure whether or not those other benefits are worth it short term if ultimately a man loses half in the end. I have to look out for myself first and foremost: my future, my goals, my well being."
GF: "Hmm... yeah." *quizzical look*
V: "As it is now with laws and such, marriage isn't a motivator to stay together. In fact, getting married is motivation for a woman to
fail the relationship."
GF: "How so?"
V: "Think about it, suddenly the wife loses some bullsh¡t 'spark', files divorce, gets half, and kicks back poolside with a frosty piña colada yacking on the phone with a gang of dudes who want to get with her... while the dude is set back 15 years or more towards his goals and financial future and can't get laid to save his life because he's broke. Raw deal?"
GF: "You're right... You know, my mom signed a pre-nup when she married (so-and-so)."
V: "Really?"
GF: "Yeah. I'd sign a pre-nup."
V: "You would?"
GF: "Sure!"
V: *looking out window to hide the
expression* "I'd include a fat clause in mine: if a chick ever got over XYZ pounds... cool, thanks, bye - no soup for you."
GF: :cuss:
I'm a little :nervous:. Can you say, "High IL" boys and girls?
So, I could live with this chick, give her a ring, have her change her last name... but not get married and "fake it" for a few years to put off inquiries and to see if she passes? Then in say 5 years, sign the paperwork?
Oooh... it's tempting.
She's been knocking my socks off, plus, she's very "anti-western". And, she doesn't really see a need to get married.
Yeah, Fd'A, I'd say they are out there.