What does it mean to be a member of the Mature Man Forum?

[guru1000]

.

It's binary thinking to assume a situation must always have an optimistic or pessimistic bent when pragmatism would serve better.

Couldnt disagree more. Reality is the event. How we communicate these events and derive meaning from them is what matters. You can CHOOSE a positive or negative meaning out of any event

Extreme optimism is just as foolish as extreme pessimism - one makes you Pollyanna and the other makes you Eeyore. Far better to apply simple pragmatism - learn as much as you can about your problem, expect the best, be prepared for the worst.

Pragmatism will rely on your perception of the said event.

One PERCEPTION most successful people share is "Everything happens for a reason". Is this being extremely optimistic? Maybe but it works.

As long as the behavior does not put you in jeopardy it will always serve better to have a POSITIVE perception.

Positive thinking is a powerful thing, but it's useless without action, preparation, understanding, questioning and an ability to improvise - and more often than not it's these things that people mistakenly perceive as 'negative.'

Decision without Action is useless.

There is nothing negative there. Quite the opposite. An optimistic frame of mind will make ACTION alot easier to undertake.

 

[thedeparted]

To answer the original question, it means you are old and still need help getting laid...

Those who can, do; those who cannot, make threads about it.

 

[WestCoaster]

I think the "all-women-are-evil" threads are dumb, but even though this is a "mature man" thread, trust me, there are guys 30, 40, 50, 60, and older who are lifetime AFCs. I guess my posts revolve around the theme of eliminating male AFCism because I was once one and saw not just the damage it did to me with women, but how it affected my whole life. I practically apologized for being a human being till I snapped out of it.

I see younger men all the time going down the same, awful AFC path I treaded on. I want to step in and shake these guys. AFCing has to do with giving up your masculinity, your courage, and the things men should stand for.

The "all women are flakes" threads I don't even open. Tell me something I don't know. I enjoy the company of women as lovers, friends, and professional colleagues. I'm not into women who hate men (even heterosexual women hate men ... I call them hetero/lesbos, a friend of mine is married to one), or the anti-man culture out there.

I really think these things should be brought to light. I've had quite a few friends go through divorces, some recently, both could've prevented each problem basically by not marrying these women in the first place, but both were admitted wimps at the time.

"Mature Man" is the title of this forum, that title should not assume that older men always know what's going on. Most don't know what's going on and need to be educated ... including your's truly.

 

[STR8UP]

I totally agree. People like to say something is either negative or positive, misogynist or not, optomistic or pessimistic. This is a very binary and female way of viewing things. I heard a recent news story say people who are overly optimistic are more prone to gambling, risk taking and being in debt. They ignore a 100 losses and only focus on one win.

Right on. Just another example of trying to put everyone in a box with a neat little bow. Doesn't work that way.

 

[STR8UP]

I think the "all-women-are-evil" threads are dumb......

See, that's just it.

I posted one or two threads expressing my disappointment in the things I observed going on around me, but they were rants toward individual situations and were more reflective of my mood at the time than my total outlook on women.

The big thing I have a problem with is the fact that to my knowledge there haven't been too many threads with an "all women are evil" theme, and if there were i would be the first to defend them. But the fact of the matter is that this IS a board for discussing "issues" with women. Last time i checked anyway, and even once you get yourself past the hopeless AFC stage you still have growing to do, and it doesn't stop until the day you die.

And that's what I'm here to do. To continue to grow.

 

[ketostix]

But the fact of the matter is that this IS a board for discussing "issues" with women. Last time i checked anyway

That's how I see it too. If someone wants to praise their GF or plates that's fine, but there's not really much value to take away from that. Everyone knows what they want and expect from women. What's the point in singing the praise of women? I don't see talking about a problem as being negative. I see it as part of the solution.

 

[WestCoaster]

See, that's just it.

I posted one or two threads expressing my disappointment in the things I observed going on around me, but they were rants toward individual situations and were more reflective of my mood at the time than my total outlook on women.

The big thing I have a problem with is the fact that to my knowledge there haven't been too many threads with an "all women are evil" theme, and if there were i would be the first to defend them. But the fact of the matter is that this IS a board for discussing "issues" with women. Last time i checked anyway, and even once you get yourself past the hopeless AFC stage you still have growing to do, and it doesn't stop until the day you die.

And that's what I'm here to do. To continue to grow.

Good post, I don't see a post as being frustrated with a woman or women, or detailing a bad incident with a woman as an "all-women-are-evil" thread. I see it as venting, or as seeking input from other Sosuave members. But there are a lot of "women are dumb" threads and "they're all bad" or something. Yeah, they have strange tendencies, so be it. This board is here to help us recognize these tendencies and act accordingly.

Correct, there is always growing to do. The blanket statement of "all women are bad" stunts that growth, IMO.

A better option than the blanket statement is just to move on and date someone else. Moving on isn't encouraged enough on this site, message board or articles. A lot of theories are to try and fight and win back the woman, or to just complain about her, or get revenge against her. Best option is often to walk away without crying, complaint, or retaliation.

I think being comfortable with women in all situations is part of being a DJ, and having the ability to act accordingly and not worry about their actions.

 

[Latinoman]

A better option than the blanket statement is just to move on and date someone else. Moving on isn't encouraged enough on this site, message board or articles. A lot of theories are to try and fight and win back the woman, or to just complain about her, or get revenge against her. Best option is often to walk away without crying, complaint, or retaliation.

Exactly. If we only attrack flies, then we are either surrounding ourselves with garbage or we are the gargage.

Sometimes the solution is as simple as CHANGING the "venue".

 

[guru1000]

I think the "all-women-are-evil" threads are dumb, but even though this is a "mature man" thread, trust me, there are guys 30, 40, 50, 60, and older who are lifetime AFCs. I guess my posts revolve around the theme of eliminating male AFCism because I was once one and saw not just the damage it did to me with women, but how it affected my whole life. I practically apologized for being a human being till I snapped out of it.

The "all women are flakes" threads I don't even open. Tell me something I don't know. I enjoy the company of women as lovers, friends, and professional colleagues. I'm not into women who hate men (even heterosexual women hate men ... I call them hetero/lesbos, a friend of mine is married to one), or the anti-man culture out there.

Clearly when you hear "All women are xxx" , you are hearing frustration from someone who lacks accountability.

You cannot categorize a woman or man into a tight little equation and declare it an absolute. Women behavior is subject to emotion and circumstances may affect that behavior.

If someone deals with alot of rejection, instead of confronting the underlying issue, he may sweep the rejection under the rug and say "This is the way women are".

The fact is women are not this way. They are just simply not that into you.

To understand the truth , accept it and do something about it is the difference that makes the difference.

This is the real hang up I have with blaming others rather than accepting responsibility. Instead of accepting the fact that you are the creator of circumstance and bettering yourself, most are so quick to overgeneralize as a quick bandaid to their reality.

It is best to embrace the pain and address it. This is what truly seperates an abundance vs scarcity mindset. One with a perception of abundance looks at himself as the center of the problem. One with scarcity will often look at others for his misfortune.