You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
All that I can say is that he was definitely a schmuck for apologizing even though she hadn't gotten in touch with him and he felt the need to "track her down." I see AFC in big 60" flashing red letters.Poonani Maker said:
Absolutely, what I was thinkin. I think I'm gonna tell her that too if I get the chance. She's still with this "boyfriend" and says he gives her Everything, and she uses the phrase "my boyfriend" at the beginning of almost EVERY sentence that comes out of her mouth. "My boyfriend and I are going to Hawaii this week." "My boyfriend is taking jewelry-making class with me." "My boyfriend doesn't like me going to the gym because he thinks I'm out to meet other guys." And on and on and on. The b1tch is 31 too. I could understand 21. She says that they have sex all the time too so he's gettin some. She showed me his picture. He looks a little g@y - like a mime with a good body I guess. Anyhow, more power to him if he can shower her with gifts and win her affection so be it. She asks me to goto coffee with her, but I alway ignore these requests or "suggestions." If she asks me again in about 3 months I "might" do it, I dunno.Francisco d'Anconia said:
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Well that's because you know how to build comfort with "good" women quick. You're a normal guy, probably with decent morals. Most of the f'd up guys who make women feel uneasy because they masturbate too much or want tear to into any chick with two legs' pants, would be begging for the woman to take advantage of him, have him thrown in jail even. It's all about body language, comfort with who you are, and confidence to say whatever.potato said:
Agreed... I was just throwing it out there thoughDjDan said:
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Now you guys are getting it. Now this doesn't mean that guys should just give out their info and wait either. This is why I have said that getting an email address or telephone number is a waste of time in the beginning. What is your immediate goal, to be penpals? To talk on the phone while watching "American Idol?" Or is it to actually get together at a later time and place? If it's the latter, why not just set up a meeting and see how she responds???!!! Talk about an easy way to gage her interest level.reset said:
). If she's already really interested, she'll offer you her info right then and there in case you need to change the plan. You are spinning plates, right?That's true. I swear, everytime I'm on this forum everyone tries so hard to do "anti-AFC" behavior it probably does more harm than good. There's nothing wrong with apologizing to a girl as long as you're a man about it. There's nothing wrong with buying a girl flowers if there's mutual interest. There is nothing wrong with losing a girlfriend and being disappointed about it. It's just part of being human. Jeez. Some of you got really warped minds through years of resentment derived from social isolation.
:nono: You've been ignoring me again....reset said:
Imagine how I feel reading the mounds upon mounds of threads about phone numbers from women they haven't even qualified...reset said:
Understand, that it's easiest when you can approach, create rapport and illicit comfort smoothly and quickly. Without that, don't expect much.HELLO!!! Ever wonder why women don't seem to return your phonecalls? It's because they are busy with guys like me who just tell them when they are going to go out, period.reset said:
Only the ones who aren't interested will feel "on the spot," it's usually hard for them to say no. The interested ones will either accept, counter or give you an opening to go further along "Here's my number Francisco, call me when you have time."reset said:
Ha ha. No, I guess I'm just furthering my grasp of what qualifying truly means. It's just the mindset. You've gone from "trying to get chicks" (don't know what your history is obviously, maybe you were born good) to "is this chick worth it" and I'm still making that shift. This is prize-mentality.Francisco d'Anconia said:
Duh, thanks for that reminder... the intersted chicks will help you along, which I am used to actually.Francisco d'Anconia said:....the interested ones will either accept, counter or give you an opening to go further along "Here's my number Francisco, call me when you have time."
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
If the "prize" concept works for you, sure that's a way to look at it.reset said:
Have I ever said that this stuff is much easier than guys make it out to be?? Yep, I have...reset said:
Here's an example, you're a winning multi-million dollar lottery ticket. Where would you like to be purchased and by who? You're still a prize that everyone would probably like to win none the less, but with who would you want to go home; just anyone?reset said: