"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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What do you guys think this girl is up to ???

Dongfu

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I met this girl on another island at a music show I was performing in - really beautiful, and down to earth - nearly girlfriend material :p

We connected immediately, and began making plans to see each other again, when I returned to the island. So, I fly in a few days ago, and she drives two hours from the other side of the island to meet me for dinner. She called me while my phone was off on the airplane and said, "you must still be getting off the plane, I made it over here, call me as soon as you get in."

I call her back and get her voice mail, and leave a message to call me. Hours keep passing and I never hear from her. I leave another message asking if she lost her cell phone, and I gave her my # in case she was checking messages from another phone. 2 days go by, never hear from her, and now she is back in san fran for the holidays.

So I call her yesterday and she finally answers and she says that she lost her phone in her rental car, and she didnt find it until she returned the car and left for San Fransisco. SHe acts real casual, as if she hadnt given it much thought, and says she wants to hook up when she returns.

The way I see it, if she was really interested in me, she would have made a better effort to find the phone or get a hold of me. I'm not sure if she's playing a game or not. She seems very straight forward. What do you guys think? And should I cal her on it and tell her I dont have time to spend on women who arent making a sincere effort to hang with me. Or should I keep acting real casual as I have been, saying "cool. call me when you get back."
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Gangster Of Love

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"I understand. How will you make it up to me?"
 

Dongfu

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Gangster Of Love said:
"I understand. How will you make it up to me?"
First post by GOL :up:

Now that the initial conversation about it is over, are you suggesting that I bring it up again and say that ^^

I already kind of played it off like it was no skin off my back. But I still feel a little annoyed about it.
 

Gangster Of Love

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Next time you talk to her, if she brings it up, tell her she's on probation. If she's interested, she will play along with you and ask you why, then you can tell her. Be playful, fun, yet she needs to know that you are serious and you will not tolerate that.

"How will you make it up to me?"

Says all the right things. Tells her you are on to her and her game. You will not tolerate flakiness, and at the same time you are willing to giver her another chance, but she has to "earn it".

Give her a little guilt trip if you need to. Don't go overboard and come across as AFC, yet don't let her get away with something most men let her get away with. Why? Just because she's attractive?
 

Dongfu

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Gangster Of Love said:
Next time you talk to her, if she brings it up, tell her she's on probation. If she's interested, she will play along with you and ask you why, then you can tell her. Be playful, fun, yet she needs to know that you are serious and you will not tolerate that.

"How will you make it up to me?"

Says all the right things. Tells her you are on to her and her game. You will not tolerate flakiness, and at the same time you are willing to giver her another chance, but she has to "earn it".

Give her a little guilt trip if you need to. Don't go overboard and come across as AFC, yet don't let her get away with something most men let her get away with. Why? Just because she's attractive?
For sure bro, this is exactly the attitude I usually have. I didn't think i'd have to play any games with this one, but if she wants play around, she doesn't know what she's getting into. I have a special knack for getting women off their pedestal in a lighthearted ****y way. Thanx
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Effington

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Gangster usually gives pretty solid advice, hard to go wrong there.

You may be looking a little too into her motives, but yes, I would be ticked if I made a trip to see someone who did not show up or answer her cell phone. Not a complete and total dealbreaker, but as mentioned above, is suspect.
 
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