The Bad Ass Canadian
Master Don Juan
Amen
The Bad Ass Canadian
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
what do you do when you feel extremely lonely?
- Thread starter wise_mage
- Start date
The Bad Ass Canadian
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
EternalBachelor
Don Juan
You may have to accept that there is a cost to trying to improve yourself and find quality women. If you don't want to be lonely settle down with some average looking women and get a bunch of drinking buddies and live a boring one-dimensional life.
Shiftkey
Master Don Juan
Get a job, move out, go to the gym, take some community college classes, go places with your friends where there are women. You've been visiting this site for how long? How could you not know this?
I think it happens to all of us.
There's some good advice above. Get out of the house and around people. People are not going to come to you.
Just remember, you're young and it's just a slump your in. It won't last.
Take me for example. I broke up with my girl a month ago. I had the flu for the last week to include new years. I live alone, and couldn't find any one to get me some food or medicine. I even called my Ex! So I had to do it my self. It sucked. I was seriously depressed that I had and have no one. But you know what? Only I can change that. And I will !!!
I'm still not 100%. But I'm going to the gym tonight to check out all those new chicks with thier new years resolutions to work out. It's a new year! Time for some new PooH!
Get out there...
PS...I drink when I'm lonely...
There's some good advice above. Get out of the house and around people. People are not going to come to you.
Just remember, you're young and it's just a slump your in. It won't last.
Take me for example. I broke up with my girl a month ago. I had the flu for the last week to include new years. I live alone, and couldn't find any one to get me some food or medicine. I even called my Ex! So I had to do it my self. It sucked. I was seriously depressed that I had and have no one. But you know what? Only I can change that. And I will !!!
I'm still not 100%. But I'm going to the gym tonight to check out all those new chicks with thier new years resolutions to work out. It's a new year! Time for some new PooH!
Get out there...
PS...I drink when I'm lonely...
aguynamedwill
Don Juan
I disagree with everyone who says to stop focusing on women.
Clearly you believe that you need female contact, and that should be your focus. If its a deep gut feeling, then you probably do in fact need it. But staying at home and posting about it isn't going to aid your cause. Go out to stores. Find young attractive female employees and have short conversations with them. Ask them out if you want to, but focus more on how you are dealing with them. Be the man. This helps me out alot. I have to deal with feelings of emptyness every so often, and that's what I do. Sometimes I come away with a number, sometimes I don't. But I feel better, and that's more important.
OR
Stay at home and do nothing, and meditate on Buddha's words of 'this too shall pass'
Clearly you believe that you need female contact, and that should be your focus. If its a deep gut feeling, then you probably do in fact need it. But staying at home and posting about it isn't going to aid your cause. Go out to stores. Find young attractive female employees and have short conversations with them. Ask them out if you want to, but focus more on how you are dealing with them. Be the man. This helps me out alot. I have to deal with feelings of emptyness every so often, and that's what I do. Sometimes I come away with a number, sometimes I don't. But I feel better, and that's more important.
OR
Stay at home and do nothing, and meditate on Buddha's words of 'this too shall pass'
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
DarkCityNight
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2003
- Messages
- 11
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About revisiting the places (stores, streets, etc) you used to be during that time in your past when with the girl:
I did the same and still do when depressed about some of the past girls in my life. There's a song by Nirvana where the lyrics go "I miss the comfort in being sad..." I think that may be the feeling you're getting from going to those places.
To get over it and on with your life:
You have to realize that you will always feel this way until a girl comes along and allows you to move on with your life. Now you can do it the AFC way and wait and hope luck or fate will help you out (which could take years, and you said it's been 3 and a half since your last gf). Or you can create your own future (see the DJ Bible).
Until then, try exercising to get out of your immediate rut and also drinking some coffee can help.
Good luck kid.
I did the same and still do when depressed about some of the past girls in my life. There's a song by Nirvana where the lyrics go "I miss the comfort in being sad..." I think that may be the feeling you're getting from going to those places.
To get over it and on with your life:
You have to realize that you will always feel this way until a girl comes along and allows you to move on with your life. Now you can do it the AFC way and wait and hope luck or fate will help you out (which could take years, and you said it's been 3 and a half since your last gf). Or you can create your own future (see the DJ Bible).
Until then, try exercising to get out of your immediate rut and also drinking some coffee can help.
Good luck kid.
Like most have said get out and get active. I highly suggest exercise. It makes a happy body and a happy body releases happy little pheramones(sp?). Keep your mind active because if you don't it will find something of it's own to think about. And, really who wants to think of old times that will never be again.
Kineti[C]harm
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,520
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Yepp, go to a gym! it makes a world of difference for just about anything....
Just do stuff that makes you happy and occupied and doesn't make you think of girls like that.
Just do stuff that makes you happy and occupied and doesn't make you think of girls like that.
selfcontrol
Don Juan
Masturbation helps. I'm totally serious. It greatly reduces feelings of desperation and loneliness.
naturalzen
Banned
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2004
- Messages
- 85
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masterbation does not help! it enslaves you and then you become a vicious cycle of never ending neediness. testoterone depletes when u masterbate .
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Austin Allegro
Master Don Juan
1. Stop focusing on women. A woman will NOT make you happy.
2. Stop trying to be 'happy'. As the philosopher JS Mill famously said, 'ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so'.
3. Stop indulging in self pity. You HAVE to be strict with yourself about this. Modern society encourages us to feel sorry for ourselves so that we will buy products to make ourselves feel 'better'. This is bollox.
4. Get some exercise. Get out and do anything rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Especially in the short winter days you need as many 'happy hormones' as you can get.
5. Get involved. Take up new hobbies, interests, get out and meet people.
6. Don't forget to have a LITTLE time on your own - listen to music, read some philosophy/theology etc in a positive way.
2. Stop trying to be 'happy'. As the philosopher JS Mill famously said, 'ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so'.
3. Stop indulging in self pity. You HAVE to be strict with yourself about this. Modern society encourages us to feel sorry for ourselves so that we will buy products to make ourselves feel 'better'. This is bollox.
4. Get some exercise. Get out and do anything rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Especially in the short winter days you need as many 'happy hormones' as you can get.
5. Get involved. Take up new hobbies, interests, get out and meet people.
6. Don't forget to have a LITTLE time on your own - listen to music, read some philosophy/theology etc in a positive way.
I saw something similar on some psyche web sight...Originally posted by selfcontrol
Masturbation helps. I'm totally serious. It greatly reduces feelings of desperation and loneliness.
But, dam is my arm sore...