"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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what do you do when ur given an AI?

lildevil

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Hb has been givin me Ai's(Approach Invitation) i have my game down but im having trouble with a good opener in this case...anyone has any that are succesful
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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AlphaOmega

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You don't need any opener. If you think she wants you to talk to her, all you have to do is not **** up by saying something ridiculous or offensive. Don't be scared, and don't be here asking about "openers" when you should have already spoken to her if, as you say, she wants your attention.
 

Bonhomme

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AlphaOmega's got the idea. Just confidently but not too obviously eagerly go up to her, perhaps shake her hand (firmly, but don't crush it -- actually the best hand shake ends with a sort of massage-like glide that subtly conveys mad physical skills), and say "Hi, what's up," or something to that effect. Then listen to what she has to say. Simple, really.

All the better to make good eye contact: sort of flirtatious, but relaxed (kinda hard to describe, but you'll know what I mean once you get the hang of it).

It's more about the "vibe" you convey than anything else. The main thing is just not to screw things up by trying too hard.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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