"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What do I say?

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
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For a couple of weeks, I have been eyeing a HB8 in my social circle. I've known her about a year, we've always gotten along, but I've never thought much of it until recently. I've noticed some IOI's recently, but am not completely sure of her interest - she's begun trying to sh*t test me. However, our separate work schedules create issues - different hours (late) and different off days for the next few weeks. There's virtually no span in this time where either of us are off at the same time. Though I am normally a fast-mover, I cannot ask her out if there isn't a time that works.

With all of this in mind, her birthday is coming up in a few days (my company is making me work late the entire week, so I'm unlikely able to attend any festivities). My plan was to get her something small with a card, hoping that's not AFC. The note will be short, but I am having trouble trying to suggest us going out/on a date within the note (since our days do not match up). That's where I need your help. Is there a smooth way to write this? I'll litter the note with a couple of inside jokes, but the main emphasis is where I need help.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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B

BeDJ

Guest
You best bet is to use her to hit on other women. Her presence will give you a nice social value and make her value your attention. I think that would be the best scenario for you.
 

jurry

Master Don Juan
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Put picture of your d*ck in the note.
 

EbbsAndFlows

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BeDJ said:
You best bet is to use her to hit on other women. Her presence will give you a nice social value and make her value your attention. I think that would be the best scenario for you.
+1.

If you are going to try to spit game at her, I'd have to suggest not leaving a note. If you're not dating, notes are kinda creepy. Definitely don't buy her something if you're not dating. Look at the scenario through eyes, and don't put on a romanticized lens.

Shoot her a short, considerate text. I can't imagine anything more than that playing to your favor.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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VladPatton

Master Don Juan
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I agree with Ebbs. Buy nothing. Send a text that says Happy Bday and call it a day. Don't go that AFC route. The only way to move past this state of suspended animation is to ask her out. There is no other way for you to achieve your goal. So until that happens, remain cool and at minimum contact.
 
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