Plec07
Senior Don Juan
Keep it to the point, don't keep on trying to convince her. State your side and then be unaffected by her decision of who to listen to.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
What do i do when she says....
- Thread starter SIDEBOARD
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
nicenomore
Senior Don Juan
plec rightly put about going overboard. Simply state it once , repeating cetain points for a mere emphasis at max. Dont be affected by the outcome.Plec07 said:
Better still , in School , you can tell it between the class if you meet , you can always state your point and walk away with the excuse of going back to class. But even if you meet her later , dont ask "whats your decision?" and stuff like that. Her actions of being with you or ignoring you are answers enough.
Over board is generally like going too far in explaning . Stating your points 10 times , begging for a response etc. That shows you are a pu$$y whipped.
Its a hard concept to explain in words, but pretty easy to understand practically.
I'm suprised that no one mentioned the obvious. If she really did show IOI's like you mentioned including coming alone with you, then this must have been a **** test. She's trying to see your reaction and to see if you'll go all AFC and be defensive etc.
nicenomore
Senior Don Juan
sorry kiko-
thats not a $h!t test. Read all the posts in the thread carefully, you'll understand why. $hit tests are more in the nature of refusing an act , such a giving of a phone number, more in the nature of push -pull.
Ok , not gettng personal here, but whats your suggestion for him to do? Ignore the girl or accept the rumors being spread?
thats not a $h!t test. Read all the posts in the thread carefully, you'll understand why. $hit tests are more in the nature of refusing an act , such a giving of a phone number, more in the nature of push -pull.
Ok , not gettng personal here, but whats your suggestion for him to do? Ignore the girl or accept the rumors being spread?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
GaryUranga
Master Don Juan
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IMO, distance yourself a bit for now, stop being pushy
First of all, my bad, I misread the original post.
Ill take this make and tell you from scratch what I would have done. You know sometimes when you heard a girl was interested in you, you started being interested or at least thinking about her? Well, considering how you had IOI's there you could have gotten even more by simply saying "Im gonna ask you out one of these days, just not now, Im not in the mood". This will basically get you on her mind and everything.
The fact that you bought her Ice Tea and held her bag was a sign of your former AFC self returning. - nice guys finish last, let her pay for the pizza.
After this, something took place which totally screws you over and what I hate about delaying and basically high school. That is, rumours spread. Now, if I was in your position, I'd keep my mouth shut except for the "Ill ask you out..." line and other things towards her as far as my 'feelings' and 'intentions' go. The rest comes out through body language and kino.
Now, before I continue, you mentioned meeting her etc. Basically, I'd move on. Tell her "I heard about these rumours and it's too bad this had to happen. Perhaps I'll see ya around/LJBF." That's my way b/c I don't even wanna imagine what happens next with those stupid rumours.
So, from here what I suggest is push n pull but without actually intending on pulling her. When you see her again, do "what i'd do" and kino her or whatever and make a joke about the situation about how 'it's over' per say. Then leave her and find another chick. Simple as that.
Ill take this make and tell you from scratch what I would have done. You know sometimes when you heard a girl was interested in you, you started being interested or at least thinking about her? Well, considering how you had IOI's there you could have gotten even more by simply saying "Im gonna ask you out one of these days, just not now, Im not in the mood". This will basically get you on her mind and everything.
The fact that you bought her Ice Tea and held her bag was a sign of your former AFC self returning. - nice guys finish last, let her pay for the pizza.
After this, something took place which totally screws you over and what I hate about delaying and basically high school. That is, rumours spread. Now, if I was in your position, I'd keep my mouth shut except for the "Ill ask you out..." line and other things towards her as far as my 'feelings' and 'intentions' go. The rest comes out through body language and kino.
Now, before I continue, you mentioned meeting her etc. Basically, I'd move on. Tell her "I heard about these rumours and it's too bad this had to happen. Perhaps I'll see ya around/LJBF." That's my way b/c I don't even wanna imagine what happens next with those stupid rumours.
So, from here what I suggest is push n pull but without actually intending on pulling her. When you see her again, do "what i'd do" and kino her or whatever and make a joke about the situation about how 'it's over' per say. Then leave her and find another chick. Simple as that.
Writing some long-ass response to her drama.SIDEBOARD said:
Did she notice you 'molesting' her at the time? Then it was nothing.
Tell her you thought she was cool and were happy you and had a good time so you told your friends, just as she no doubt does to her gfs. If that freaks her out, and she wants to make some big drama out of it, fine lets never speak again.
Though you will probably ignore this good advice, beg for forgiveness and lose her respect for good.
No actually I will follow your advices.
Now I tried to talk to her last Monday first I texted her to ask permission if we can talk in private, she didn't reply, she didn't pop up for our arts club either(which I thought that would be my chance to explain my side and go), so I can only think of one thing, She probably doesn't trust me and will not believe my side, so the solution is, either to ignore her as most of you said or to find another chick as more of you said.(I'm thinking of getting my Korean bus mate, but I can't find any possible topic openers and neg's for her, although I can kino her)
So Problem solved Thanks Guys!
Now I tried to talk to her last Monday first I texted her to ask permission if we can talk in private, she didn't reply, she didn't pop up for our arts club either(which I thought that would be my chance to explain my side and go), so I can only think of one thing, She probably doesn't trust me and will not believe my side, so the solution is, either to ignore her as most of you said or to find another chick as more of you said.(I'm thinking of getting my Korean bus mate, but I can't find any possible topic openers and neg's for her, although I can kino her)
So Problem solved Thanks Guys!