"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
What did I do wrong?
- Thread starter Cerwin Vega
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
TheSlasher
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2014
- Messages
- 224
- Reaction score
- 11
Overapplied C+F
Cerwin Vega
Master Don Juan
On retrospect, yeah...that's why you should always reply after thinking it thoroughly. It seemed like a perfect response after the "I'll let you know" which was HIGHLY flaky, I had to set my frame so I wrote her that...
TheSlasher
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2014
- Messages
- 224
- Reaction score
- 11
If I was in your place, I would've not even replied at all. Or maybe say, "Ok." But more on going NC or something.
Mr Wright
Master Don Juan
Yeah, you still have to be socially intelligent. You basically just threw a load of crap at her and hoped it stuck, which it didn't. When it comes to making plans for a date, you don't need to do all that because she's pretty much agreed to go out with you and as you can see, stuff like that can shoot you in the foot. I have tons of female friends and I know they'd find a guy who said that pretty weird. You can still be interesting without coming across as too gamey. For the record being socially inept is not good for getting laid.TheSlasher said:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.