2) Did you really feel older in your 40s? I feel young as hell. Must be the T.
No, I didn't feel old in my 40s. I've always said your 30s and your 40s are pretty much the same when it comes to SMV. Guys in their 30s and 40s look about the same. Girls who would date guys in their 30s would probably date guys in their 40s also, as long as they are high value.
What happened was when I joined up here, I was approaching my 49th birthday, and I realized I would be in my 50s soon. I had always tended to date younger, and I had a good self image as a "cool older guy in his 30s or 40s". But it seemed to me that if a guy is in his 50s, there is a dropoff in SMV, there's a change from being perceived as a "cool older guy" to "old guy", if you know what I mean.
I tend to deal with these identity issues when I approach the "9" years. I thought about the loss of my teens when I turned 19, and the loss of my 20s when I turned 29. Didn't really have any issues at 39 for whatever reason.
1) How did you reconcile this?
Great question. I'm not sure I ever did. To be honest, this place is highly youth oriented (as it should be), and has really been no help for the specific issue that brought me here. You just have to keep trying to improve, maintain, and keep a good attitude. It turned out after I turned 50, there didn't seem to be much difference in the ways females responded to me, at least for several years. But I'm 57 now. I know my profile says 55 still, it used to change automatically but it doesn't anymore, and I'm not sure how to change it.
I've never really seen age as being a barrier, but I do think there is a loss of SMV when you are in your 50s. Dealing with it is just part of dealing with being older. Maybe you disagree, and that's fine, but that dropoff will happen sometime. Maybe in your 60s, maybe in your 70s. At some point you become invisible to certain younger girls. At They talked about Hugh Hefner as an example of an older guy who had young girls, but come on. We all know that by the time of his last wife, she wasn't there because she was attracted to him physically.
I know a few guys my age who bang girls 18-22 still. I'm not saying an older guy can't do it. But it's less common. I don't mean to talk about Neil while he's not here, but a lot of those pictures of him with 22 year olds, it just looks ridiculous. And I don't believe that age matters that much. I'm getting close to 60 now, and I'm wondering where my niche would be now (if I was still in the game). If I was a high value 60 year old single, what does that mean? Do I get my pick of women 40 and over? I wouldn't see that as a bad thing. What is the wheelhouse for a 60 year old? Maybe Atom Smasher can chime in.
I think you just have to accept that you are getting older. You have some control over what that might mean to you, and how it affects your life. There's a lot of pros to being older. I have more free time than ever. But you will get older, and you have to accept it. Certainly beats the alternative. Accepting a new self image as a guy in your 50s (whatever that may mean to you) can be a little uncomfortable, but you make the transition and you get used to it.[/QUOTE]
