"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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What are your SARGING shoes?

falconslax89

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TheManOfSteel said:
Yep so if I go to the mall looking at shoes to buy, and I get some HB's phone number and eventually bang her brains out, I'm obviously a homosexual because I was originally going to the mall to look for shoes... ;)
I was making fun of someone else. It's not gay to look for shoes.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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TheManOfSteel

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falconslax89 said:
I was making fun of someone else. It's not gay to look for shoes.
Yes I know, hence the sarcastic smiley face signifying me mocking the first guy's comment.
 

f283000

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Vice said:
Thanks for that! The wing-tip oxford looks awesome and looks like a great peacock item that would get girls looking. I can't believe you can't wear those with jeans or khakis though.

What dress shoes do you guys recommend that I can wear both to work and with jeans? An all day dress shoe.

I already wear my black dress shoes (cheap one) everyday but after this thread i'm upgrading to something nice.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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