What are the minimum things I should be doing on First dates

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I'm sick of going on these first dates and being teased. We seem like we connect, they always initiate hugging and tell me to let them know when I want to hang out again. However, I rarely get a second date lol.

What I do is usually go to a bar setting, talk to them for like a hour and a half to 2 and then leave lol. I'm also currently in the Suburbs so inviting them back to my place is like a 30 minute drive.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Your issue is in BOLD.

You never sit in one place for an hour and a half with a first date.

You've posted a couple threads like this. You're giving these girls too much of a 'nice guy' vibe.

nice guy vibe is pretty vague, I'm not over here worshipping her, am I supposed to be bullying her lol

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm sick of going on these first dates and being teased. We seem like we connect, they always initiate hugging and tell me to let them know when I want to hang out again. However, I rarely get a second date lol.

What I do is usually go to a bar setting, talk to them for like a hour and a half to 2 and then leave lol. I'm also currently in the Suburbs so inviting them back to my place is like a 30 minute drive.

Cut it to one hour. End the date before she does. If she brings up seeing you again, make the next date right there.

She needs to do 60-80% of the talking. Most guys talk too much. Insert funny retorts when you can. If you can get her laughing she will have a great time. Honestly all you have to do is look good and make her laugh. Come dressed to impress. And my god, do NOT initiate physical touch.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Every successful first date I’ve had has literally gone on for hours. One lasted 13 hours. And that was just us going out around the city.

 

[bat soup]

I'm sick of going on these first dates and being teased. We seem like we connect, they always initiate hugging and tell me to let them know when I want to hang out again. However, I rarely get a second date lol.

What I do is usually go to a bar setting, talk to them for like a hour and a half to 2 and then leave lol. I'm also currently in the Suburbs so inviting them back to my place is like a 30 minute drive.

You need to escalate during the date. Don't let them sit/stand far away from you where you can reach out and touch them. If they insist on staying out of your reach, bringing along friends or doing anything that makes it impossible to escalate, end the date right there. If they are not cooperative, end it and get out of there. Don't waste time on women that don't want to cooperate.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You need to escalate during the date. Don't let them sit/stand far away from you where you can reach out and touch them. If they insist on staying out of your reach, bringing along friends or doing anything that makes it impossible to escalate, end the date right there. If they are not cooperative, end it and get out of there. Don't waste time on women that don't want to cooperate.

Bringing friends isn’t always a deal-breaker. Had a Tinder date with a girl who was in town for the weekend. She brought along her gay friend. Turned out fine. She was pretty sexually aggressive & he just sort of faded off.

 

[Glassguy]

Way too long talking in one place. After 45 minutes move locations to another venue that's close. In between grab her hand and LEAD her to the next spot.
If she is giving a lot of IOIs, spin her around and kiss her in between venues.
Spend 45 minutes in the next venue and tell her to come back to your place to try this new wine.... or whatever reason. Only invite her back to your place if you're feeling her and there was no resistance to grabbing her hand or kissing her in between venues.

Stop being a nice guy. Go get what you want while doing it in a sly and masculine frame.

If you take a chick back and bang her, don't let her hang around forever afterwards. 20-30 minutes tops and tell her she needs to get going and you'll call her later. Call her in a few days if she doesn't reach out before then.

You're too nice, too available and give off the bf vibe. All attraction killers. They don't want another date because they know they have it in the bag if they want it. Get out of that and leave them in suspense on whether you're feeling them or not.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm sick of going on these first dates and being teased. We seem like we connect, they always initiate hugging and tell me to let them know when I want to hang out again. However, I rarely get a second date lol.

What I do is usually go to a bar setting, talk to them for like a hour and a half to 2 and then leave lol. I'm also currently in the Suburbs so inviting them back to my place is like a 30 minute drive.

What are you talking to them about? Are you allowing them to talk about whatever they want to or are you leading and steering the convo towards the direction you want it to go in? Major mistake a lot of guys make. Not leading the conversation.

Try doing something first then going for a drink. I usually do indoor minigolf followed by a drink at a different place...but you can do whatever.

Bottom line if this continues to happen there is something YOU are doing which is causing it.

Lose the victim mentality...they are not teasing you, you aren't acting in a way that is successfully interesting them enough to want to see you again. This is 100% within your control to change but the first step is accepting responsibility for your failures.

At the end of the day you are going to have to figure it out by trying different things until you get the results you want.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I pretty much always try to either get them to come back to my place within an hour of meeting them. If they're not feeling it then I'll either end the date or switch venues.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Yall must all live in NYC or Europe because I live in Texas and just switching venues can be a good 15-minute drive and having to find parking

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Yall must all live in NYC or Europe because I live in Texas and just switching venues can be a good 15-minute drive and having to find parking

Most American cities are not walkable at all especially when you get farther and farther from urban centers. But even in my medium-ish sized city (200k population at city limits) there are a few areas with many bars and restaurants clustered around each other.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I lived in Austin for 5 years. What you said couldn't be further from the truth. There's a different bar every 3 steps.

Austin is one of those growing ****y secondary cities that think it's a huge top 10 major city. Please, Austin is nothing like Dallas or Houston size-wise. In Houston, 2 venues can be 2 miles apart but still a 15 minute pain in the ass drive. Houston isn't as small nor doesn't have a 6th avenue of bar venues right next to each other. Harris County is about the size of Rhode Island lol.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Most American cities are not walkable at all especially when you get farther and farther from urban centers. But even in my medium-ish sized city (200k population at city limits) there are a few areas with many bars and restaurants clustered around each other.

Not in cities like Houston, LA, Dallas, Chicago. Yes, they might have bar areas but a lot of these cities are suburb-based and spread out so not all of the hot spots are going to be concentrated downtown like you would see in Nashville or Austin. Like nobody goes to downtown LA or Houston lol. For example, in La, you are going to have neighborhoods like Glendale, Hollywood, Pasadena, Santa Monica, Burbank which will have their own spots and still spread out. In Indianapolis, yes you might have some small areas outside downtown but the bulk of venues and where all the women are going to live at will be in close proximity to downtown.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Dude, people try to give you advice and help you with your questions, but you always end up griping about some other secondary, insignificant issue.

....and you punctuate everything with an 'lol'

My bad, comparing Austin to Houston triggers me. I would say based off the girls I match with when I'm there and the size/location, it is much more easier to date in Austin than Houston.

 

[Glassguy]

Dude, people try to give you advice and help you with your questions, but you always end up griping about some other secondary, insignificant issue.

....and you punctuate everything with an 'lol'

Beta males typically act this way. They bytch like women and have feminine tendencies.

Alpha males find solutions and make shyte happen.

 

[Glassguy]

Austin is one of those growing ****y secondary cities that think it's a huge top 10 major city. Please, Austin is nothing like Dallas or Houston size-wise. In Houston, 2 venues can be 2 miles apart but still a 15 minute pain in the ass drive. Houston isn't as small nor doesn't have a 6th avenue of bar venues right next to each other. Harris County is about the size of Rhode Island lol.

I've been to both Austin and Houston. If you can't find 2 venues to take chicks within a short walk of each other, you're not looking very hard.

I've partied in both and went to many different venues in one evening without driving and hunting for parking.

You looking for purpose or excuses?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I've been to both Austin and Houston. If you can't find 2 venues to take chicks within a short walk of each other, you're not looking very hard.

I've partied in both and went to many different venues in one evening without driving and hunting for parking.

You looking for purpose or excuses?

and what part of Houston was this?

 

[Glassguy]

and what part of Houston was this?

Tf do I know? I'm from Ohio. I was partying with friends from TX. I guess the part of Houston where we were drinking in numerous places and picking up hot babes.

You should go there.

 

[Georgepithyou]

I live in a small suburb almost 2 hours from the city centre of Sydney, even in my small suburb it's possible to do several venue changes which are all within walking distance.

Venue changes are essentially second and third dates

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Austin is one of those growing ****y secondary cities that think it's a huge top 10 major city. Please, Austin is nothing like Dallas or Houston size-wise. In Houston, 2 venues can be 2 miles apart but still a 15 minute pain in the ass drive. Houston isn't as small nor doesn't have a 6th avenue of bar venues right next to each other. Harris County is about the size of Rhode Island lol.

OP the problem isn't the cities, the problem is you have issues planning dates so they flow properly...do you mean to tell me there is NOTHING you could be doing in any of those areas that isn't 15 minutes away? No parks, cool areas to check out, minigolf, etc you could do prior to going to get a drink?

If you want to know where you can start doing better it starts with your plan of action and date flow.

I am starting to think the issue you are having on dates is that you are simply boring.