What and how much do you text/talk on phone between initial meet and first date

[Serenity]

I came on this forum first on May 2017 and just listened to audio book on YouTube back in June/July. Book of Pook suggests to be picky and selective with high standards and NOT hungry/on the prowl. Does he mean only going for chicks who we could see ourselves long term with(whole bunch of compatible traits with us like religion, vibe, looks, education,etc)and not just a good looking chick that only socially vibes with us and nothing else?

Not necessarily, but even if you have no intention of long term relationship you would want to enjoy their company, wouldn't you? Obviously you wouldn't need that much compatibility for education, religion and many other things if you don't intend on long term. There are many examples of men and women dating, they have a very good time together at first, but some aspects become unbearable over time.

There's a big difference between seeing a girl once, a couple times a week, every day and living with her. Each step requires more things about her to be right for you to enjoy being with her. Still, even at ONS you wouldn't really fvck any girl would you? You'd probably want her to look good, act feminine, be as sane as possible and obviously not object to any aspects of you.

Let's take a look at "only socially vibes", that's not as simple as you make it sound. There are probably particular behaviors you won't tolerate and others that you very much appreciate. Some things may matter a lot to you while other things don't matter much at all. Some of her weaknesses may be irrelevant or insignificant for the short term, but a huge problem for the long term.

Bottom line, the direct answer to your question is no. Which standards are relevant depends on the type of relationship you desire and how much each aspect matters to you within that context.

 

[GeeMale]

Not necessarily, but even if you have no intention of long term relationship you would want to enjoy their company, wouldn't you? Obviously you wouldn't need that much compatibility for education, religion and many other things if you don't intend on long term. There are many examples of men and women dating, they have a very good time together at first, but some aspects become unbearable over time.

There's a big difference between seeing a girl once, a couple times a week, every day and living with her. Each step requires more things about her to be right for you to enjoy being with her. Still, even at ONS you wouldn't really fvck any girl would you? You'd probably want her to look good, act feminine, be as sane as possible and obviously not object to any aspects of you.

Let's take a look at "only socially vibes", that's not as simple as you make it sound. There are probably particular behaviors you won't tolerate and others that you very much appreciate. Some things may matter a lot to you while other things don't matter much at all. Some of her weaknesses may be irrelevant or insignificant for the short term, but a huge problem for the long term.

Bottom line, the direct answer to your question is no. Which standards are relevant depends on the type of relationship you desire and how much each aspect matters to you within that context.

Book of pooK states we should assume chick will be interested if not interested yet. Can you elaborate on what he means, for example is it when first few dates and she happens to show disinterest here or there with mix interest?....to assume she IS interested? Cause delete numbers/go no contact and move on as soon as I spot genuine disinterest. I hope he doesn't mean to keep pressing on even if she's being total cold fish that would be stupid and 'not getting the hint'

 

[biggoal]

This chick I found on facebook dating app, solid HB 7.5 I texted with for about 2 hours tonight and she plans on texting again tomorrow. She does live over 80 miles away up near Tampa so might be more texting than usual before a first date. Make sure we're compatible enough before driving that long of distance.

 

[GeeMale]

I noticed in a lot of these “how much should I text” threads there is always (or mostly) a lack of very important information: historical context.

How much I personally maintain contact with a woman typically depends on it.

Did she make eye contact and show IOIs first? Or did you approach unexpectedly? If it’s an OLD thing, did she reach out first or did you? Did you ask for the number or did she offer? Who texted who first? Who hinted or suggested getting together first? Who set the date, time and location?

Who is leading here with the higher interest?

While I prefer to set the date, time and location and lead from there, I always prefer to see a woman initiate a little more on the front end leading up to that point.

I hold to this because I want to know I am dealing with a high interest woman, not some girl I have to chase down for a date.

If I feel like I’m doing most of the legwork up to the point of setting the logistics of the date, I lose interest entirely. They will not hear from me again even if they agree to meet.

Why? Because if she is not initiating much up to that point, I am just an entertainment monkey trying to get a woman who isn’t showing the higher interest to show up when she agreed to. And if I don’t text at all, her IL probably isn’t high enough for her to follow through with the date when the time finally comes either. Lose-lose.

I won’t go that far. If she doesn’t chase a little up front, I’m out on the backside and already further down the line with others showing higher interest before she even figures it out. At that point, even if they do initiate days after I haven’t heard from them, I may never respond....unless we have already been out and had a good time before. I’m already connecting well with a few others at that point.

I play their own game on them.


Flaking is completely alien to me, unless I’m the one doing it.

How often I should text is an alien question to me, because I’m always dealing with high interest women who don’t give a sh*t if I decided to chat like a teenage girl if the mood so much struck me. They love it.

And it was all predetermined by the historical context of interest level and initiation leading up to setting the date.

I never get stood up or flaked on. I can’t remember the last time it happened to me.

Look at the process that got to you to this point where you’re asking this question.

There’s a lot to learn there.

If you don’t like how things typically play out once you’re dealing with this “how much should I text” situation, change the process that got you there.

Holy crap you pretty much put into words of what exactly I've been wanting to put on this forum for a while. Your mindset is something I've been trying to adopt but something told me to keep trying to bend around her to 'get her to the date' even if I was annoyed by her somewhat lack of interest...this leading to a flake or something. So far I at least got to the point where if I delete numbers/no contact a chick as soon as she is not replying after 2 texts whether it's before first date or in between. However my insinct would tell me to do it even before, when she shows low/no interest and to just move on to women who do some initiating, eye contact etc. Stupid seducers on this forum man I swear, convincing me and others to bend towards the woman .....
Historical context.

 

[andreihaha]

Holy crap you pretty much put into words of what exactly I've been wanting to put on this forum for a while. Your mindset is something I've been trying to adopt but something told me to keep trying to bend around her to 'get her to the date' even if I was annoyed by her somewhat lack of interest...this leading to a flake or something. So far I at least got to the point where if I delete numbers/no contact a chick as soon as she is not replying after 2 texts whether it's before first date or in between. However my insinct would tell me to do it even before, when she shows low/no interest and to just move on to women who do some initiating, eye contact etc. Stupid seducers on this forum man I swear, convincing me and others to bend towards the woman .....
Historical context.

Indeed.
Unfortunately most have to understand the hard way that scoring with an annoying chick is like a foul.

 

[Serenity]

Book of pooK states we should assume chick will be interested if not interested yet. Can you elaborate on what he means, for example is it when first few dates and she happens to show disinterest here or there with mix interest?....to assume she IS interested? Cause delete numbers/go no contact and move on as soon as I spot genuine disinterest. I hope he doesn't mean to keep pressing on even if she's being total cold fish that would be stupid and 'not getting the hint'

That piece of advice isn't intended for guys who are experienced enough to see when a woman is actually disinterested. It's intended for guys with low self-esteem who give up easy because they assume she can't possibly be interested in someone like themselves.

You can ignore it if you can without a doubt judge a woman's interest in you.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Get laid a lot until you don´t care about this stuff.