What and how much do you text/talk on phone between initial meet and first date

[GeeMale]

I think texting/on the phone calling and talking too little (just the actual asking out to meet up with the time, day, place) can make some chicks flake later as they don't feel like they wanna get their a** up for someone they barely know compared to other options that make them laugh etc in those initial texts/calls.

So some of you who get more dates than flakes, what do y'all usually text/call ?

 

[GeeMale]

I think texting/on the phone calling and talking too little (just the actual asking out to meet up with the time, day, place) can make some chicks flake later as they don't feel like they wanna get their a** up for someone they barely know compared to other options that make them laugh etc in those initial texts/calls.

So some of you who get more dates than flakes, what do y'all usually text/call ?

I was actually asking and not just chiming in lol. Do you think you can elaborate stormride?

 

[DariusTheBartender]

As little as possible between dates unless she is initiating it. Keep suspense up. The phone is to set up dates not to talk until you are serious

 

[Serenity]

You're trying to adapt your texting habits to whatever pleases women, it's fundamentally the wrong mindset. Do whatever you want.

 

[GeeMale]

You're trying to adapt your texting habits to whatever pleases women, it's fundamentally the wrong mindset. Do whatever you want.

Hell no I ain't. I'm trying to get less flakes as I feel like I text too little....literally letting them know it's me and setting up the date lol. If its not that, than it's obviously just the flaky girl. I'm just checking if it's something that was me or not in this case being "too" straightforward.

 

[Young OG]

It really depends on how far away the date is. If the date is a week away, then I would text a few days and just throw in some small talk. But, don't go texting her all day long.

 

[andreihaha]

How much do you text/talk on the phone between initial meet and first date?

To be honest, probably way too much.
I had better results when talking less, like Darius said. Building the suspense makes it less probable that she won't come.
I also never set a date more than 2-3 days away. I only text. And a little before the date, I can call so she can hear my manly voice for the first time. Sets up the mood nicely.

 

[BJP1991]

Sounds like this is geared towards online dating/dating apps? Otherwise you’d have already met the person face to face once before, right?

 

[andreihaha]

Sounds like this is geared towards online dating/dating apps? Otherwise you’d have already met the person face to face once before, right?

Not necessarily. Even if you met her before once or twice (before dating), the texting dynamics are fairly similar.

 

[BJP1991]

Gotcha. I think it’s a balance, and depends how far in the future you set a date with them.

If a girl is all about texting and initiates just to “chat” I’ll go along with it, but over time delay responses just because I don’t like over texting between dates. In my opinion, as long as you have a definite plan (date, time, location are all set) then there isn’t really a need to talk before the date. Some women might think you have low interest because of this, and this is actually related to another thread on this forum right now, which I just posted on (titled: “texting advice is wrong” - or something similar to that).

It’s stuff I like to work on myself and learn about too, for improving overall game.

 

[andreihaha]

Yep, before going on an intimate date, it's better to keep it short. I'm also busy most days, even after work, which helps me not make too much small talk. My results while texting more have been subpar to be honest. Maybe it gives a sense of familiarity too soon. Maybe you're just not talking about interesting stuff prior to connecting to and attracting a girl. In any case, I'm trying to stay as far as possible from texting before first dates, no matter how bored I am.

 

[BJP1991]

Yep, before going on an intimate date, it's better to keep it short. I'm also busy most days, even after work, which helps me not make too much small talk. My results while texting more have been subpar to be honest. Maybe it gives a sense of familiarity too soon. Maybe you're just not talking about interesting stuff prior to connecting to and attracting a girl. In any case, I'm trying to stay as far as possible from texting before first dates, no matter how bored I am.

In general, I think this is an appropriate “rule of thumb” but it doesn’t always apply. Some guys claim a lot of success from texting between dates or every other/every 3rd day or so. I’m not one of those people (yet) so I stick to the “less is more” philosophy.

However, would anyone care to elaborate on when a “shift” happens where you’d go from “less is more” to a 2/3 ratio?

 

[Serenity]

Hell no I ain't. I'm trying to get less flakes as I feel like I text too little....literally letting them know it's me and setting up the date lol. If its not that, than it's obviously just the flaky girl. I'm just checking if it's something that was me or not in this case being "too" straightforward.

You're asking questions about how to text women so they'll be more likely to go with you. If that's not actions oriented at trying to please women, then what is? Because it sure as fvck does sound like their behavior is making you doubt your texting habits.

 

[espanish]

it depends on how much you got to know her on the first encounter.
if she was on the phone and you couldn't talk to her and you just got her number, you need to text her to get to know her more before wasting your time on the first date.
if you had a meaningful conversation in the first encounter and you already know where she grew up, what school she went to, blah blah, then don't send her stupid texts. Just set up the first date.

 

[nicksaiz65]

It really depends on how far away the date is. If the date is a week away, then I would text a few days and just throw in some small talk. But, don't go texting her all day long.

Yeah. I think the real issue is when you start texting a girl every day. Very needy. I've heard you should set the date one to two days out so you don't run into this problem as well.

 

[GeeMale]

You're asking questions about how to text women so they'll be more likely to go with you. If that's not actions oriented at trying to please women, then what is? Because it sure as fvck does sound like their behavior is making you doubt your texting habits.

Well than I guess I'm really doing nothing wrong and just getting flaky women and will continue to text and set up dates as I normally do . Thanks.

 

[Serenity]

Well than I guess I'm really doing nothing wrong and just getting flaky women and will continue to text and set up dates as I normally do . Thanks.

My point is that it doesn't matter much what method you go for. Some will bite if you text them 20 times a day like a maniac, some will bite if you send 2 texts/week. There's no all encompassing pattern.

I texted mostly to set up dates and occasionally had a casual short conversation if it felt natural. I always did that, many flaked, some turned out to be the type of woman I like. What if I had texted more? I'd attract women who expects more communication, I hate texting a lot.

Your actions themselves are a filter, if you turn off your filter by adapting to any woman then you'll waste a lot of time with women who really aren't what you want.

Many guys think they need to find a way to attract everyone, but is that really what you want?

 

[GeeMale]

My point is that it doesn't matter much what method you go for. Some will bite if you text them 20 times a day like a maniac, some will bite if you send 2 texts/week. There's no all encompassing pattern.

I texted mostly to set up dates and occasionally had a casual short conversation if it felt natural. I always did that, many flaked, some turned out to be the type of woman I like. What if I had texted more? I'd attract women who expects more communication, I hate texting a lot.

Your actions themselves are a filter, if you turn off your filter by adapting to any woman then you'll waste a lot of time with women who really aren't what you want.

Many guys think they need to find a way to attract everyone, but is that really what you want?

I agree with everything you wrote. There was a time when I got flaked on like 5-10x in a row and honestly thought something was up I should work on but I remember are/were were other chicks that didn't using the same communication so its not really somethjng I need to work on after all and really like you said should be used as a part of filter(s) itself. And yeah I totally bad chicks who bite on the extreme ends of spectrum when it comes to texting so that's proof right there lol. Have you read book of Pook?

 

[Serenity]

Have you read book of Pook?

I have, 6 years ago. It permanently and drastically changed the way I think.

 

[GeeMale]

I have, 6 years ago. It permanently and drastically changed the way I think.

I came on this forum first on May 2017 and just listened to audio book on YouTube back in June/July. Book of Pook suggests to be picky and selective with high standards and NOT hungry/on the prowl. Does he mean only going for chicks who we could see ourselves long term with(whole bunch of compatible traits with us like religion, vibe, looks, education,etc)and not just a good looking chick that only socially vibes with us and nothing else?