What am I doing wrong here?

[mikeyb]

GF broke up with me yesterday because there wasn't any "tenderness" in the relationship and I was too "harsh" with her, not "soft" enough (her words). Also she thinks I'm selfish. We'd been going out for a month and a half.

Thing is, my other ex almost broke up with me after the same period of time for the exact same reasons! Although we eventually worked things out, it all went slowly downhill until I eventually broke up with her. Any ideas here guys? What exactly do they mean with this? Is this chick talk for something else? It pisses me off because it feels like I'm making the same mistakes over and over again, and I really liked this girl. I have no problem getting the initial attraction and escalating, getting things to the point where the girl wants a relationship, but judging from this I'm total crap at what comes next.

 

[squirrels]

Be careful you don't get so wrapped up in being awesome that you make yourself "unobtainable".

 

[mikeyb]

I think I see your point. So basically when in a relationship I should show the girl I value her and that I'm there for her? Even at the start of the relationship. Maybe a stupid question but over the last few years I've done a complete 180 after coming to these forums and it seems I've gone too far.

 

[Masculinity]

Turn down c&f when you're in a relationship. Also, you have to "soften up" and tell her "cute things" in her ear; she will completely melt. Women ultimately want an alpha male, but they also want to be protected. Try being sweet to her and hugging her from behind, kissing her shoulders and say her voice alone makes you smile.

They want to feel wanted; they like you to show them you have feelings. This is exactly the reason why some girls fall for some douche bags. Make sense?

 

[Outsider]

Be careful you don't get so wrapped up in being awesome that you make yourself "unobtainable".

BEAST

 

[chiyeung]

Balance, balance. Be an Alpha, but remember, an alpha takes care of his family and shows love when he needs to. Loving but firm. Loving, but in control. Loving but not to the point of "OMG ILL NEVER LEAVE UUU"

 

[mikeyb]

Thanks for the tips guys, makes a lot of sense. What kind of "sweet stuff" do you say? I do the hugging from behind etc. like robyn923b suggested and I like that stuff but I'm clueless on what to say.

 

[ravinnn]

Saying "sweet stuff" isn't going to fix anything.


Maybe you're more selfish than you think you are.

Did you actually care about her? Did you act like it? Did you maybe act ****y to try to cover up some other emotions?