themanwithnoname
Senior Don Juan
www.nomarriage.com , despite his rantings, there is some obvious truths to that, makes you think about qualifying a woman.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
What age should you get worried that you aren't married?
- Thread starter dannyc
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
JackPrescott
Banned
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
- Messages
- 860
- Reaction score
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Why get married? Just shack it up, thats where it's at, when you in love you need linen, not license.
al77
Master Don Juan
libre,Originally posted by libre
Do NOT get hitched before 27!
Since you accumulated more birthdays and experience: have you ever felt like "I have to et married.. soon"? Whe you were 30? 33?
35? 40? or on any other "prominent" day...
Before I hit 30, I didn't care or thnk much about marriage.
HereToImprove
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2005
- Messages
- 102
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- 0
I would say sometime in the early to mid 30s is pretty money. You can still get girls in their mid to late 20s at this age without it being weird, and it gives you time to get it out of your system.
This is one nice advantage of being a guy, we get more years to enjoy the single life.
This is one nice advantage of being a guy, we get more years to enjoy the single life.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
DJ_in_making
Master Don Juan
I strongly disagree. Guys usually don't like girls unless they are physically attractive. Girls on the other hand aren't as attracted to physical looks. I would more often see an old guy w/ a young chick then an old lady with a young guy.Originally posted by PoS
women can get any guy anytime she wants .. but it is hard for the guys.
I just spent some time reading through www.nomarriage.com, and I have to say a lot of what I saw there sickened me. I'd like to address some of the complaints by men there.
Complaint #1: The sex stopped once we got married. Or it's boring. Or the wife witholds it to get what she wants.
This, my friend, is probably your own fault. As we at SoSuave are well aware, all women are "sluts." Under the right conditions, they like sex as much as, if not more, than guys.
However, a woman requires more from sex than guys. Women need the right atmosphere. They need foreplay. They need to be aroused. A guy can pretty much get by with anything.
If a woman is able to resist sex with you, it is because you are not meeting her needs. Men are the leaders. You should be trying new things to keep the sex from getting old and stale. Experiment. Have fun.
If anything, sex should get better after marriage, because a woman knows deep down that you are committed to her and this lets her release her innner "slut" without fear.
Complaint #2: I have to work hard so I can buy the things my wife insists I buy her.
Again, this is likely the man's fault. It begins with the AFC trap of buying women things while dating. They get used to it, and realize that they can get expensive things from you if they apply the right pressure (eg. withold sex). When you get married, the woman knows she has you by the balls, and can really go for the big stuff.
This one is fairly easy avoid. Simply don't buy many gifts for girls you are dating. If they don't like that and dump you, congratulations. You just avoided a life of misery.
Complaint #3: My wife is cheating on me.
You have allowed another man to have a higher perceived value than yourself. It's probably your fault.
Complaint #4: My wife left me.
Often follows #3. Again, you shouldn't take your wife for granted. Maintain your value by giving her something (not material) no one else can.
Complaint #5: Modern marriages suck. Just look at the divorce rates. We should go back to the old days.
The reason divorce rates are high is that women can afford to leave their husbands. In the past, women could not really get jobs, so they stayed with their husbands because they depended on them, not because they liked them.
Take my grandmother. She married my grandfather just after the war (~1946). They had 6 kids together. He worked, she stayed home. Sounds like a perfect marriage?
50 years later she divorced him. Why? Because she realized that she could afford to divorce the self-centred, immature, dominating man she married.
Now I don't know about you, but I view this as a good thing. A marriage where your wife doesn't like you but stays with you because she has to is not what I want. I want a wife who stays with me because she realizes that I am better than anyone else out there.
In conclusion, everyone here should realize that we, as Don Juans, have the skills to avoid the pitfalls that the men at nomarriage.com complain of. We know how to ensure that the women we are with choose and stay with us because we are the best, not because we can give them nice things. We can get women who please us, while at the same time we know how to please our women so that they realize our inner value. Quite simply, we know that we not only can be, but are, the catch that our women have always dreamed of.
Complaint #1: The sex stopped once we got married. Or it's boring. Or the wife witholds it to get what she wants.
This, my friend, is probably your own fault. As we at SoSuave are well aware, all women are "sluts." Under the right conditions, they like sex as much as, if not more, than guys.
However, a woman requires more from sex than guys. Women need the right atmosphere. They need foreplay. They need to be aroused. A guy can pretty much get by with anything.
If a woman is able to resist sex with you, it is because you are not meeting her needs. Men are the leaders. You should be trying new things to keep the sex from getting old and stale. Experiment. Have fun.
If anything, sex should get better after marriage, because a woman knows deep down that you are committed to her and this lets her release her innner "slut" without fear.
Complaint #2: I have to work hard so I can buy the things my wife insists I buy her.
Again, this is likely the man's fault. It begins with the AFC trap of buying women things while dating. They get used to it, and realize that they can get expensive things from you if they apply the right pressure (eg. withold sex). When you get married, the woman knows she has you by the balls, and can really go for the big stuff.
This one is fairly easy avoid. Simply don't buy many gifts for girls you are dating. If they don't like that and dump you, congratulations. You just avoided a life of misery.
Complaint #3: My wife is cheating on me.
You have allowed another man to have a higher perceived value than yourself. It's probably your fault.
Complaint #4: My wife left me.
Often follows #3. Again, you shouldn't take your wife for granted. Maintain your value by giving her something (not material) no one else can.
Complaint #5: Modern marriages suck. Just look at the divorce rates. We should go back to the old days.
The reason divorce rates are high is that women can afford to leave their husbands. In the past, women could not really get jobs, so they stayed with their husbands because they depended on them, not because they liked them.
Take my grandmother. She married my grandfather just after the war (~1946). They had 6 kids together. He worked, she stayed home. Sounds like a perfect marriage?
50 years later she divorced him. Why? Because she realized that she could afford to divorce the self-centred, immature, dominating man she married.
Now I don't know about you, but I view this as a good thing. A marriage where your wife doesn't like you but stays with you because she has to is not what I want. I want a wife who stays with me because she realizes that I am better than anyone else out there.
In conclusion, everyone here should realize that we, as Don Juans, have the skills to avoid the pitfalls that the men at nomarriage.com complain of. We know how to ensure that the women we are with choose and stay with us because we are the best, not because we can give them nice things. We can get women who please us, while at the same time we know how to please our women so that they realize our inner value. Quite simply, we know that we not only can be, but are, the catch that our women have always dreamed of.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I'm surprised that so many guys are concerned about this...
Joe The Homophobe
Master Don Juan
Marriage is a good thing, but not when you marry an american/western european woman. Yes, there are a lot of unhappy married men and the divorce rate is sky high in america. The problem is that men are stupid and don't how how to chose the right wife.
When a man buys a car he knows exactly what he wants to be happy. Yet in America and Europe a man choses a wife yet he doesn't seem to take into consideration what is best for him and his future! men 'fall in love' and all that crap yet they don't take into consideration, and erase most requirements a good wife has (good cook/good cleaner/100% loyal to you, 0% feminist blood in her)
www.nomarriage.com SPEAKS THE TRUTH! date american/western european women all you want, but when it comes to marriage AVOID THEM LIKE THE PLAGUE!
When a man buys a car he knows exactly what he wants to be happy. Yet in America and Europe a man choses a wife yet he doesn't seem to take into consideration what is best for him and his future! men 'fall in love' and all that crap yet they don't take into consideration, and erase most requirements a good wife has (good cook/good cleaner/100% loyal to you, 0% feminist blood in her)
www.nomarriage.com SPEAKS THE TRUTH! date american/western european women all you want, but when it comes to marriage AVOID THEM LIKE THE PLAGUE!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
It's a negative, but you shouldn't get worried
When a man hits his mid to late 30s and beyond, a lot of women will eliminate him altogether as a LTR prospect if he's not been married -- unless, of course, she's super-attracted to him and there's no good alternates in the game. Then, chances are, she'll toss all her criteria right out the window.
But, in ordinary circumstances, being an "older," unmarried man is poison. I can't quite understand the attraction to failure, unless the gal is hunting for another monthly check.
Whatever the case, a real man doesn't do things because "everyone else does."
Yes, it can be an issue to a lot of hung-up women; no, one should not worry about it.
I just evade the question when it comes up, and say I don't have any kids that I know of, and don't want to dwell on past relationships. Let them feel the pressure of losing me.
When a man hits his mid to late 30s and beyond, a lot of women will eliminate him altogether as a LTR prospect if he's not been married -- unless, of course, she's super-attracted to him and there's no good alternates in the game. Then, chances are, she'll toss all her criteria right out the window.
But, in ordinary circumstances, being an "older," unmarried man is poison. I can't quite understand the attraction to failure, unless the gal is hunting for another monthly check.
Whatever the case, a real man doesn't do things because "everyone else does."
Yes, it can be an issue to a lot of hung-up women; no, one should not worry about it.
I just evade the question when it comes up, and say I don't have any kids that I know of, and don't want to dwell on past relationships. Let them feel the pressure of losing me.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Re: It's a negative, but you shouldn't get worried
That's sad...Originally posted by Bonhomme
When a man hits his mid to late 30s and beyond, a lot of women will eliminate him altogether as a LTR prospect if he's not been married -- unless, of course, she's super-attracted to him and there's no good alternates in the game. Then, chances are, she'll toss all her criteria right out the window. ...
Junior Sanz
Don Juan
my father and i are extremely close as he raised me all by himself and sacrificed his entire life so i could have the life that i had as a child....
one day while i was in college, (i was 19 yrs old) at the time, i found out through a phone call that my father was in the hospital for emergency heart surgery... my heart dropped to the floor and nothing else mattered in the world as i just wanted my father to stay alive....
while laying in his hospital bed hooked to several wires, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, " i love you and i want to see you grow up and get MARRIED.... i dont want to leave yet...i dont know, this might be it...."
this was tough to hear at age 19 and is actually bringing tears to my eyes as i recall that very traumatic day...to make a long story short everything went well and he is still here healthier than ever....
with that said, i always had MARRIAGE on my mind since my father said what he said while on his hospital bed.....
so i always got antsy while in short term relationships because in my eyes, I JUST WANTED TO GET MARRIED SO MY DAD COULD SEE ME.....
WOW!! what a crazy thing to think but at the time, thats all that mattered
NOW, i realized that this IS NOT reality and RELATIONSHIPS need to be worked AT! things just dont come that easy and marriage is way more serious then just doing it for someone else's sake.....
NOW that i know this, i took that extreme load of pressure off my back of wanting my dad to see me get married, and i am living more of a STRESS FREE life when it comes to this issue.....
MARRIAGE is a very sacred thing to me and now that i am older and more wiser... i still have a lot to learn but it feels good to reassure myself that when i CHOOSE to get married, i know i will have CHOSEN the right one because ONLY I have the power to make that decision and i am DOING IT FOR ME! NOT ANYONE ELSE!!!
just a sharing thought.........
one day while i was in college, (i was 19 yrs old) at the time, i found out through a phone call that my father was in the hospital for emergency heart surgery... my heart dropped to the floor and nothing else mattered in the world as i just wanted my father to stay alive....
while laying in his hospital bed hooked to several wires, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, " i love you and i want to see you grow up and get MARRIED.... i dont want to leave yet...i dont know, this might be it...."
this was tough to hear at age 19 and is actually bringing tears to my eyes as i recall that very traumatic day...to make a long story short everything went well and he is still here healthier than ever....
with that said, i always had MARRIAGE on my mind since my father said what he said while on his hospital bed.....
so i always got antsy while in short term relationships because in my eyes, I JUST WANTED TO GET MARRIED SO MY DAD COULD SEE ME.....
WOW!! what a crazy thing to think but at the time, thats all that mattered
NOW, i realized that this IS NOT reality and RELATIONSHIPS need to be worked AT! things just dont come that easy and marriage is way more serious then just doing it for someone else's sake.....
NOW that i know this, i took that extreme load of pressure off my back of wanting my dad to see me get married, and i am living more of a STRESS FREE life when it comes to this issue.....
MARRIAGE is a very sacred thing to me and now that i am older and more wiser... i still have a lot to learn but it feels good to reassure myself that when i CHOOSE to get married, i know i will have CHOSEN the right one because ONLY I have the power to make that decision and i am DOING IT FOR ME! NOT ANYONE ELSE!!!
just a sharing thought.........