"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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What a fruitful night...

davelmn2003

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I know that I have some issues with onetis and so tonight I went out to the bar (not having been there for months) to try to meet some new girls.

From my experience tonight I urge you to 1) talk to other guys around you and 2) go out to the dance floor, at least once in a while.

I was going to the bar alone and was feeling stupid. So I talked to several guys around me. One guy introduced me to his half-sister, who is way hot!! Soon enough we started chatting. Initially, after 2 minutes of chatting and she went ot the dance floor (I didn't follow her) I thought it was all over. Then she came back to me after a few dances (by that time her brother was out there somewhere). I asked if she likes dancing and she said not here at the moment. So I just chatted with her. Then she hinted that she might want to dance with me and so we went out there. On the floor we grinded. She just "baked her ass up" to mine. I was thrilled. I haven't had this experience for more than a year almost (I was sitting home feeling sorry for this chick that I like who got married to another man).

Unfortunately, she lives out-of-state and is only visiting the town for a few days along with her half-brother. We exchanged e-mails and I got her phone number as well. She mentioned that she likes emailing (which I do as well, preferring it to phone calls, which make me nervous).

MY QUESTION is (sorry for the lengthy background): tomorrow, she said she's going out with her half-brother again, possibly to the same bar. So,

1) should I email her and asked if we could go out together (find out about the timing, etc.)?

2) shoud I email her tomorrow morning/afternoonand chat her up? (keeping in mind that she's in town only for this weekend)

I tried to take her home but she said her half-brother is going to drive both of them home and that he may get angry when he's drunk. She said, while in the bar, that she needed a minute of private talk with her brother. So I said I'd be round if they needed me (I live close to the bar and offered to bring them to my place to get some water--initially just her, but she has this brother who paved--as well as got in--my way). Kind of surprisingly, she came to me to talk about the situation. Meanwhile, she also took 2 to 3 breaks to the bathroom while I sat at the bar and she came back to me. And I took a break to the restroom and found that she was there waiting for me. I took those to be good signs...

Please help me to nail this hot chick guys.... I feel kind of desperate in truth, but I tried to be cool, and indeed she told me tonight that "you're not too aggressive and not too passive either" and she also thanked me for making it a nice night for her. I hope it'll all work out. Thanks for your inputs in advance!!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bonhomme

Master Don Juan
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She's in for the weekend

Email or call her with a suggestion, or better yet, a couple options. Play it cool, but take some initiative. She said she liked your balanced approach, so keep that in mind. Go for what you want without being pushy about it.

I would give her a call. Unpredictablility is OK. But if you prefer to email her, do so soon. Email is an inherently slower form of communication, and difficult to make plans, because it's hard to do the sort of quick adjustments one can make while talking over the phone.

If she's not available or doesn't want to do something so soon, just say you'll keep in touch and send her an email in a week or so.

Whatever you do, keep cool, and just enjoying yourself is all it should be about at this time.
 

damnbugs

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I had a similar situation but the HB was with her girlfirend that caused the interference.
I gave her a call the next day and told her that I was having some friends over (that way the girlfriend wouldn't feel out of place) before the bar for a few drinks and that we would all be leaving from there. I also told her that they could park at my place and join us in the cab- that way she had to come back- But if not I would probably see her at the bar- but I wasn't sure what time I would make it there (this increased the pressure for her to come over before the bar to maximize the time).
She had to talk it over with her friend first and after a minute came back on the phone and asked what time, I told her anytime after 8:00pm and ended the call.
I then had to try and find some friends to come over to my place- luckly a few of my friends were looking for something to do and called a couple other people and the night was set.

The HB and her girlfriend ended up staing the night!
 

davelmn2003

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You're lucky damnbugs. For me it is yet another defeat...just a moment ago I gathered the courage to call her (would have waited for a few days but then she's on in town for this weekend...)

Anyway we talked about last night and her stay here. Managed to make her laugh when I mentioned how we danced. We probably talked for about 7-8 minutes. Towards the end, though, she said that "I should have told you up front last night that I have a boyfriend and I'm just hanging out here meeting people/friends" after I was asking her out tonight to drink or dance. Don't know if she really has a boyfriend or not, but if she had one, he would be quite bad knowing the kind of dancing we had last night!

So, if 1) she is lying about having a bf, that means it's finished; if 2) she really has a bf, this is going nowhere either.
 

damnbugs

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You should call her back and just say- so are we still on for tonight? And don't worry I know you have a BF I wasn't looking for a GF anyways. So if your up for another fun night let me know.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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BRYCEicl

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Since you are so nervous to talk to her on the phone, do it. Don't email her to go out with her tommorow night, call her in a night or two, get your mind off of her for a while, do some work and then call her in a day or so.

Invite what you fear, be prepared to make this one a practice.
 
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