"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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What’s Worse Right Now? Govt or Private?

nicksaiz65

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Quick career thread here. I’m trying to decide my next move. I’m currently a software engineer, and I work in government contracting.

Earlier this year, I was laid off due to federal funding freezes. Right before getting a different role at a company who would pay me less, the hiring manager from my old company reached out to me. The old person doing tests quit, and they needed to fill the role, so I got it and was re-hired.

These government spending cuts are really bad right now(look at the government freeze.) Another layoff would be very bad for me right now, I couldn’t handle it. But at the same time: is private much better? I hear there are lots of layoffs there too and they lay off in a LIFO(Last In First Out) fashion. I’ve been at my current job for about 2 years.

I’m still working on rebuilding savings.

So at this point I don’t know what to do. I know the trend now is job hugging and “if you have a job keep it” due to the terrible market. But I’m wondering if that is wise in this case due to all the cuts. A layoff for me right now would be the worst case scenario. There’s also the factor that I could get a pay bump by jumping(I’ve been doing software engineering for around 4 years now.)

So do I stay where I’m at, or go all in on the job hunt and jump as soon as I can?

I was hoping to get some advice on this one. I’m stumped.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Travel memoir21

Master Don Juan
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Quick career thread here. I’m trying to decide my next move. I’m currently a software engineer, and I work in government contracting.

Earlier this year, I was laid off due to federal funding freezes. Right before getting a different role at a company who would pay me less, the hiring manager from my old company reached out to me. The old person doing tests quit, and they needed to fill the role, so I got it and was re-hired.

These government spending cuts are really bad right now(look at the government freeze.) Another layoff would be very bad for me right now, I couldn’t handle it. But at the same time: is private much better? I hear there are lots of layoffs there too and they lay off in a LIFO(Last In First Out) fashion. I’ve been at my current job for about 2 years.

I’m still working on rebuilding savings.

So at this point I don’t know what to do. I know the trend now is job hugging and “if you have a job keep it” due to the terrible market. But I’m wondering if that is wise in this case due to all the cuts. A layoff for me right now would be the worst case scenario. There’s also the factor that I could get a pay bump by jumping(I’ve been doing software engineering for around 4 years now.)

So do I stay where I’m at, or go all in on the job hunt and jump as soon as I can?

I was hoping to get some advice on this one. I’m stumped.

Perhaps with enough savings from the current job you have now, with a few side hustles as well, you can start your own business that you're enthusiastic about. Maybe a cafe or a niche of some kind that can contribute to our communities. Life is too short to be stuck in a dead end job and not being passionate about what you do.
 

nicksaiz65

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Perhaps with enough savings from the current job you have now, with a few side hustles as well, you can start your own business that you're enthusiastic about. Maybe a cafe or a niche of some kind that can contribute to our communities. Life is too short to be stuck in a dead end job and not being passionate about what you do.
I’m very passionate about both cooking and music but I don’t think they’d pay my bills. That would drop my income to basically nothing, and I love living downtown in an apartment in a big city. So software engineering it is lol
 

Captain Redbeard

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I can't speak to your industry but I was actively looking for a new job this year and it was fvcking brutal. I was able to land a nice new role but the search was a full-time job in itself.

I would suggest getting some resumes out so you're not starting from scratch in the unfortunate event of a layoff. As for jumping ship, only you know the full context of your situation. Risk exists in both gov and private sectors.
 
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BaronOfHair

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I’m very passionate about both cooking and music but I don’t think they’d pay my bills
The latter's no longer paying ANYONE who ain't named Eillish's bills... Even T. Swift's reached the stage where most of $$$$$$$$$$$ is going to come from royalties, rather than fresh creations
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Clockwerk50

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Obviously, you cannot discuss politics here, but where I live, government jobs are well-paid, come with a pension, offer good security, are stable, and more often than not, they are unionized, which is why they’re highly coveted.

Private-sector jobs, on the other hand, are less secure, but you’re generally safe as long as you’re making money for the company, minimizing costly mistakes, and for lack of a better word, being a good courtier. Also, if you can make lateral moves between companies for better pay, it’s usually possible to find employment within the same industry, especially if you’re in sales, since competitors often value that experience.

As for the job market, I was talking to one of my employees WHO IS a new immigrant who has worked with me for a year. He’s currently looking for better pay, a different role, or an opportunity to move up. He said the market is terrible. For example, my company posted a temporary one-year logistics role on LinkedIn, and 75 people applied within the first hour.
 

plumber

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hang on to what you got.

ultimately you can earn more outside of gov work. but your more likely to earn above average in gov work. if that makes sense.

i made most of my money in software, but tell my kids to do something else. globalization and immigration changed it forever.

still is room for the best of the best, but finding the path to be one of those is no longer just hard work.

if your the type that does open source work, you already know where to go.

hhmmm, go do support and maintenance for a large product company if you can get in. and move internally into a better spot later.

or checkout us military cyber core.

soft networking... church or clubs.... to meet the opportunity

just ideas, not perfect...

Nothing is completely secure except for becoming the best of the best.
 
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