Well My Ex Just Dropped A Bomb

[violator]

Well not literally.

But, to make a long story short, my ex gf called me last week and informed me that she had just had a baby boy from a relationship she had with some guy she was living with for sometime and whom she met about a year after I broke it off with her. She dumped the guy back in November after finding out he was cheating on her with a prior girlfriend of his.

Now this girl is no regular bimbo from the hood. She is quite intelligent, goes to church, has a very good job, makes very good money, is well educated, etc. In fact, she had all the makings of a good potential mate.

I broke things off back on July, 05 because I was not ready for marriage and she was. We moved on and she met this guy who moved in with her and now she is a single mother. The thing is, I reconnected with her back in Nov. 06 around Thanksgiving Day by coincidence just when she broke up with the guy and I even considered getting back with her. She told me about the guy and that she had been living with him, but failed to mention that she was pregnant at the time.

Of course she is damaged goods and going back with her now as a serious BF is out of the question. I dont need the baggage and dont see myself playing daddy to a new born child who is not mine.

Well, she called me again this past Friday, apologize for not being upfront saying that she was too embarrased about telling me at the time that she was pregnant, that I would get angry, etc. and wanted to see me to talk, blah blah blah. She also said that she was considering an abortion back then, but that her Chrisitian values prevented her from going through with it. So she set up a date with me for Saturday but she was a no show and did not pick up my calls thereafter.

If anything, maybe I can convert this situation to a friends with benefits type of relationship. She is quite hot. She is 26 and I am 38. But her flaking at the last moment only makes me a little suspicious and wary.

What do you guys think?

 

[mrRuckus]

I think she's feeling sad and lonely and you just gave her a nice ego boost.

 

[BadAssMoFo]

i think when you're nearly 40 years old, you should be able to operate without 20 somethings giving you approval


just go fvck her.

 

[chancer]

You should have been the one to setup the date if you were interested. I'd personally do away with all of the drama.

 

[violator]

I think I may have scared her off since I insisted she come to my house. She probably thought I just wanted to bang her. Remember I have not seen her for more than a year. So I figure she chickened out at the last moment, got nervous, etc.

 

[Nighthawk]

I thought you did just want to bang her?

I'm getting (in a Humphrey Bogart voice)-

She wanted to get hitched to have a baby, and when you wouldn't play ball (literally) she found some other schmoe, then dumped him on a technicality. He's probably still paying for the kid, but she wants another rug-rat, a little play-pal, and maybe you're just the ticket. So she lures you into the old friends-with-benefits honey-trap and before you know it she forgets her pill or the condom mystically breaks and you do the decent thing despite what you plan now. That what you want? Cos that's what's gonna happen, and you know it*.





(*potentially, Bogart voice off)


And why do you want to be fuck-buddies with your ex? Fresh cow always better!

 

[Wyldfire]

You guys are ridiculous...

The OP made a point to say that the situation this woman has found herself in is OUT OF CHARACTER for her...and you all ignore that and act as if she's some monster. Sounds like she's a decent person who doesn't deserve to be used and treated like crap.

If you don't want a relationship with her then leave her alone. There are a lot of great men out there who don't refer to a living human being as "baggage" and who can actually not only accept a woman's child but also love them.

Leave this woman alone and let her move on and meet someone who won't treat her like garbage.

 

[violator]

I thought you did just want to bang her?

I'm getting (in a Humphrey Bogart voice)-

She wanted to get hitched to have a baby, and when you wouldn't play ball (literally) she found some other schmoe, then dumped him on a technicality. He's probably still paying for the kid, but she wants another rug-rat, a little play-pal, and maybe you're just the ticket. So she lures you into the old friends-with-benefits honey-trap and before you know it she forgets her pill or the condom mystically breaks and you do the decent thing despite what you plan now. That what you want? Cos that's what's gonna happen, and you know it*.


(*potentially, Bogart voice off)


And why do you want to be fuck-buddies with your ex? Fresh cow always better!

Good reply Nighthawk. That is precisely what I was thinking.

I think I am just going to end this once and for all. No ***** is worth the drama that this could entail.

 

[violator]

You guys are ridiculous...

The OP made a point to say that the situation this woman has found herself in is OUT OF CHARACTER for her...and you all ignore that and act as if she's some monster. Sounds like she's a decent person who doesn't deserve to be used and treated like crap.

If you don't want a relationship with her then leave her alone. There are a lot of great men out there who don't refer to a living human being as "baggage" and who can actually not only accept a woman's child but also love them.

Leave this woman alone and let her move on and meet someone who won't treat her like garbage.

You are right WF. She is generally a decent person and just used poor judgement and made a mistake like many have.

I hope I did not come off as a dyck.

But, if you knew just how the domestic laws here in the US are weighted against men, you will realize that it would be a great incentive for men to avoid women with children.

Under Florida law at least, even if you are not legally married, if you live with a woman long enough, not only are you considered legally married for purposes of property settlement issues in case of divorce but all children living in the household, even if they are not yours are entitled to child support from the non parent.

While I am sure there are men who are willing to assume that kind of responsibility, I think there a few and far between.

 

[Nimatzo]

There are enough women out there for you to not **** around with a single mom who obviously wants more to be more than "friends with benefits".

 

[Wyldfire]

You are right WF. She is generally a decent person and just used poor judgement and made a mistake like many have.

I hope I did not come off as a dyck.

No...you didn't come off that way. You made a point to say that it was out of character for her to be in this position. My advice to you is not to behave in a way that will hurt her...doesn't sound like she deserves that kind of treatment.

My frustration is from the way many on here type without even thinking. It's always the same canned crap they post without ever really looking at the specific situation. There are plenty of women who aren't looking for anything serious who don't have a child.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Now this girl is no regular bimbo from the hood. She is quite intelligent, goes to church, has a very good job, makes very good money, is well educated, etc.

.....she was considering an abortion back then, but that her Chrisitian values prevented her from going through with it.

She is an intelligent, financially well-off, educated, church-going hor!!!!!! Does that make you feel better?

She is a Christian and a hor??? This is blasphemy!!!!!!!

 

[Wyldfire]

Last Man Standing is a TROLL...

I don't know why the mods haven't banned him...guess it's because he's a very sh*tty troll, lol.

 

[DJDamage]

Last Man Standing is a TROLL...

I don't know why the mods haven't banned him...guess it's because he's a very sh*tty troll, lol.

LMS is not a troll, he is consistent by what he preaches and he tells it the way he sees it and sometimes his truth is uncomfortable without sugercoating it (hey the same thing can be said about you, so if he is a troll what does it make you?)

My take: The girl is looking for a baby daddy and not fvckbuddy, therefore her sperm donor ex is and always going to be in the picture no matter if she says he is out of the picture.

My suggestion: Forget about her and go find a chick with no baggage because that is what you are going to be left with if you stick around.

 

[violator]

LMS is not a troll, he is consistent by what he preaches and he tells it the way he sees it and sometimes his truth is uncomfortable without sugercoating it (hey the same thing can be said about you, so if he is a troll what does it make you?)

My take: The girl is looking for a baby daddy and not fvckbuddy, therefore her sperm donor ex is and always going to be in the picture no matter if she says he is out of the picture.

My suggestion: Forget about her and go find a chick with no baggage because that is what you are going to be left with if you stick around.

I agree, with the exception of WF being a troll. I think both her and LMS (formerly PR Lover) have made many positive contributions to this site.

 

[DJDamage]

I agree, with the exception of WF being a troll. I think both her and LMS (formerly PR Lover) have made many positive contributions to this site.

I never said she was, just mearly pointing out that if she considers him to be a troll then there are shared characteristics that can be applied to her as well.

 

[MacDiddy]

but that her Chrisitian values prevented her from going through with it.

Didn't prevent her from dissing chastity and abstinence. but hey... welcome to the real world. Now she's got an unplanned permanent headache..

Definitely, direct your energy towards friends with benefits. She'll soon realize that looking after a baby is tough and she'll need some $ex as a release value. Thats where you come in I presume...

 

[Wyldfire]

I never said she was, just mearly pointing out that if she considers him to be a troll then there are shared characteristics that can be applied to her as well.

If he doesn't want me to refer to him as a troll then perhaps he should stop trolling. He's been following me around and attempting to troll me so I put him on ignore. I may piss people off, but I don't follow anyone around and respond to everything they post like an obsessed little weenie.

 

[violator]

Didn't prevent her from dissing chastity and abstinence. but hey... welcome to the real world. Now she's got an unplanned permanent headache..

Definitely, direct your energy towards friends with benefits. She'll soon realize that looking after a baby is tough and she'll need some $ex as a release value. Thats where you come in I presume...

I figure it is going be difficult for her to date other guys now because of the baggage. And her morality and social conditioning would prevent her from casually seeing men just for sex. Or she could become celebate until she finds someone who will accept her child and marries. I doubt the latter.

So, in order to satisfy her sexual needs, she could justify it by seeing someone she knows and had sex with in the past which is either the father of the child or myself. From what I know the father is in jail so that he is out of the picture for the time being which leaves me.

Although, I am ambivalent at the moment, and really dont care about the outcome, it would be interesting to see how things pan out and whether she will start chasing me.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Her Christian values didn't prevent her from fornicating with you and with the new guy she met after you, and for you "street smart" only peeps here, the word fornication means having sex with someone you are not married to.

Did you mention the father of the child is in jail??? Sounds like quality people you are dealing with there.